A Final Solution to the Problem of Religion

[pastorlenny.livejournal.com]

We have to rid the world of Judaism. Judaism is based on the stupid notion that some particular god exists. We know that this cannot be the case, because we can detect everything that exists with our senses and/or the various devices we build for detecting things. Also, if the god the Jews made up existed, it would never have allowed Hitler to kill so many of them. As a matter of fact, if there was a god, nobody would ever die—because no real god would have ever allowed any life to end. Ever.

Also, we can appropriately hold Judaism responsible for the emergence of those other two horrific belief-systems: Christianity and Islam. Christianity is responsible for more wars than any other belief-system ever in history. And believing in Islam makes you blow yourself up to get imaginary girls in the next life. So we should nip Judaism in the bud before it creates some other disastrous belief-system—like one that makes you want to get as much money as you can in life no matter how it affects others. If that ever happened, the world would be screwed.

Please understand that I am not advocating the execution of Jews themselves. Instead, I am saying that we should become more diligent and aggressive about making sure everyone knows that Judaism is a delusional and destructive belief-system that no decent, rational person would ever accept. If we can teach this in our schools, if we can get our message out through the media, if we will not be ashamed to state these obvious truths in our daily social conversations, we might be able to eliminate the cancer of Judaism from human discourse within a generation or two.

Now I know there are those of you who are going to claim that Judaism is not entirely bad. After all, Hendrix couldn’t have recorded “All Along the Watchtower” if a Jew hadn’t written it first—and we all have a soft spot for at least one Seinfeld episode. But Judaism, as the root-cause of Western monotheism, must be viewed on balance as perhaps the greatest single evil ever foisted on humanity by a tribe of superstitious, bloodthirsty savages.

So who among you is willing to step up to the plate? Or do you want to go on pretending to be rational people—even as you continue to tolerate this singularly pernicious crime against reason itself?

Comments

[anfalicious.livejournal.com]

I went to Catholic school too, but I made people back up their claims and by the end of High School had one many converts. I almost got suspended for wearing a pro-choice badge to sex ed (sex ed for 17 year old boys was "DON'T", yeah real fucking helpful).

[a-new-machine.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I was a bit more quiet about it, mostly because the majority of my friends are (fairly respectful) Catholics. But being surrounded by that culture (I've been told to my face by a principal that I was going to hell, and by a priest that I wasn't fully human due to my failure to accept the Holy Spirit, not to mention finding out that a teacher and the president of the school were pedophiles) renders you antagonistic. I mellowed. Some don't. I don't really blame them, though I acknowledge that their arguments are largely hyperbolic and incorrect for the reasons Lenny is referencing above.

[a-new-machine.livejournal.com]

The words I hated most in high school were "Well, I'll pray for you." The fuck you will, sanctimonious prick.

Get out of being Evangelized Free Card

[brockulfsen.livejournal.com]

Never. Also works against "Jesus loves you!"

I'm a huge Nukees fan, and have to thank Gav for pointing out this Get Out of Being Evangelized Free card. Some of my friends have questioned if it is fair dinkum, so:

Mar 3:29
But whoever blasphemes against the Holy Spirit will never be forgiven; he is guilty of an eternal sin.”


Nukees - Wednesday, May 2, 2007
http://nukees.com/d/20070502.html
So, remember, I believe "The Holy Spirit is a Prick", and thus will never be forgiven. There is thusly no point in trying to save me, please find a less hopeless way to spend your time. Yay me.

[malakh-abaddon.livejournal.com]

When asked, as a person from a Jewish family, when was I going to get saved, I would respond never. When told I was going to hell, I responded with, "Tell you what, if I beat you there, I will save you a seat. If you beat me there save me a seat." I don't understand why people got so pissed off by that. Can someone explain?

[prog-expat.livejournal.com]

I've always had the same reaction. My theory is that at least the fire and brimstone person was being honest, the "saved" person was just looking for one more soul for their scoresheet.

[anfalicious.livejournal.com]

I went to a CBC school, they're the poor Catholics and have a tendency to be more interested in social justice than the god bothering. Religion seems like it was pretty minor compared to what I've heard about religious schools in the US (we only had mass once a term for example).

[a-new-machine.livejournal.com]

We had Mass once a month, and once weekly during Lent (for the ultra-boring Stations of the Cross, no less). It was... not fun. Worst part was that it delayed lunch, and I was a child who cared very much about mealtimes.

[brockulfsen.livejournal.com]

Have you gone blind yet?

No?

Then you need to try harder ;-)