"People don’t know this, but the leaders of Europe - Macron, Merkel, the Italians with their pizza, all of them, crying, literally crying - they come to me, they say, ‘Sir, please, please, be the President of Europe.’ And I said, look, I’ve already been the greatest President of the United States, everybody knows it, but Europe - Europe needs me even more.
The EU, folks, total disaster, so many flags, nobody knows what they mean, too many stars, maybe 27, maybe 48, I don’t know, nobody knows.
They said, ‘Sir, you have the biggest brain, the best words, we want your words instead of our laws.’ And I said, sure, I can do that, I can be President of Europe, and maybe also King, why not, a very stable genius King, the first, the best, people will love it.
And Brussels - have you seen Brussels? Waffles everywhere, the best waffles, but no leadership. Under Trump, the waffles will be crispier, stronger, not soggy. Germany, France, Poland - all of them - they’ll stand in line, they’ll say, ‘Sir, please tweet for us, your tweets are like constitution, stronger than NATO, much stronger.’
And I’ll tell you, NATO will be called TRUMPO - much better name, very powerful. And the Queen of England - very nice lady, very royal - she told me, ‘Sir, you would look tremendous in a crown.’ And it’s true, folks, nobody wears a crown better than me.
So yes, the leaders want me, the people want me, the ducks, the wizards, even the baguettes - they all want me as President of Europe. And it’s going to be huge, the biggest Europe you’ve ever seen, believe me!"

Actual news:
Donald Trump makes up title that he claims Europeans call him