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talkpoliticsI remember back in 2002 when Abercrombie & Fitch put out some tee-shirts with a picture of two Asian men at the "Wongs Brothers Laundry Service" it read “Two Wongs Can Make It White.” other shirts had smiling men with slanted eyes wearing dorky-looking conical hats-- Some Asian-Americans and others said the shirts were stereotypical and racist. Then the predictable backlash began "it's just a joke, " said some "why are you so sensitive?" said others "I'm being suffocated by all of these rules about being PC!" and on and on.
There were also more sophisticated rationalizations for the racist tee shirts that went something like: "I have Asian friends, I don't feel any hatred to Asian people, I'm not racist, so why would you think I agree with something as racist as these tee-shirts? I don't. You see, it's just ironic, that someone as forward thing as me is wearing something so backwards." And then some people also pointed out that some Asian-Americans didn't think it was racist --so, really aren't the people who are complaining about it being overly sensitive, just looking for any excuse to get upset? The bottom line was that all of these rationalizations and explanations meant that it was still OK to wear the shirts even if some people thought it was racist "The only people who could be bothered and not get the joke are hyper-sensitive crybabies so, what's the big deal? Some Asian-Americans are even cool enough not NOT be offended. Why can't the ones who want to play PC police be more like those Asian-Americans?"
I remember being at a skiing team meet, our group instructor was about 20 years old, he was cute and a really good skier. I was 16 and had a bit of a crush on him. One day I ended up sharing a ski lift with him. I was excited to be sitting right next to him as we went up the mountian. Then, out of the blue, he says: "Do you ever tell racist jokes? It's OK, you know, if you make fun of everyone. Here's one: Why are black people so good at basketball?" I wanted to say I didn't like racist jokes, but he went on. "They know how to shoot, steal and hustle!" I tried to smile, but I didn't even really get the joke. My parents had always kept me very safe, and limited my exposure to movies and TV, so I didn't quite have the stereotype about black people being criminals on the top of my mind. But, I wanted to laugh at his joke! And then he said something like "See you're smiling. Ha ha. It is funny, ha ha admit it! You see things are much better if we can laugh about racism. It doesn't need to be such a big deal." I think I said "Yeah." even though I still didn't understand what he was saying. It took a day or so for it to sink in. Though even in that moment, suddenly, the ski lift felt like it was very very very high-up, and the air tasted very very very cold and I couldn't wait to get my feet back to the ground.
When I've had co-workes or other people I know say racist things I'm never prepared to confront them. Who wants to be the crabby one? You keep more friends by letting some things go. And maybe, it isn't such a big deal. --Some of the time people just don't know better. It's better if we can just laugh it away, right? If we laugh at everyone. (But, I think back, he never did tell a racist joke about white people. And if he expected me to tell one, I didn't know any.)
In fact, I still wonder: why did he bring up racism? I was the only black kid in our group. But nothing racist had happened. No one had even mentioned my race until that moment on the ski lift. When I think about it and other similar things that have happened, it doesn't seem like it was just a slip-up, but more like he was testing to see if I was one of "those" black people who gets angry about racism. You know those unreasonable people who get all bent out of shape if you show them picture of Sambo. The kind of black people who (outrageously) expect that white people should take their feelings in to consideration before, say, playfully using the n-word.
Part of growing up for me, has been drawing lines. I no longer stay friends with people who refuse to talk racism like adults, or with people who have no respect for my feelings. I can take a joke, but I won't put up with anything and everything simply to spare guys like that ski instructor from the uncomfortable feelings that comes along with being called racist. I don't need everyone to like me. If if anyone wants to dislike me for pointing out the racist things that they have said or done, before you try to scold me please consider the double standard implicit your defensiveness.
*feel the sarcasm.
There were also more sophisticated rationalizations for the racist tee shirts that went something like: "I have Asian friends, I don't feel any hatred to Asian people, I'm not racist, so why would you think I agree with something as racist as these tee-shirts? I don't. You see, it's just ironic, that someone as forward thing as me is wearing something so backwards." And then some people also pointed out that some Asian-Americans didn't think it was racist --so, really aren't the people who are complaining about it being overly sensitive, just looking for any excuse to get upset? The bottom line was that all of these rationalizations and explanations meant that it was still OK to wear the shirts even if some people thought it was racist "The only people who could be bothered and not get the joke are hyper-sensitive crybabies so, what's the big deal? Some Asian-Americans are even cool enough not NOT be offended. Why can't the ones who want to play PC police be more like those Asian-Americans?"
I remember being at a skiing team meet, our group instructor was about 20 years old, he was cute and a really good skier. I was 16 and had a bit of a crush on him. One day I ended up sharing a ski lift with him. I was excited to be sitting right next to him as we went up the mountian. Then, out of the blue, he says: "Do you ever tell racist jokes? It's OK, you know, if you make fun of everyone. Here's one: Why are black people so good at basketball?" I wanted to say I didn't like racist jokes, but he went on. "They know how to shoot, steal and hustle!" I tried to smile, but I didn't even really get the joke. My parents had always kept me very safe, and limited my exposure to movies and TV, so I didn't quite have the stereotype about black people being criminals on the top of my mind. But, I wanted to laugh at his joke! And then he said something like "See you're smiling. Ha ha. It is funny, ha ha admit it! You see things are much better if we can laugh about racism. It doesn't need to be such a big deal." I think I said "Yeah." even though I still didn't understand what he was saying. It took a day or so for it to sink in. Though even in that moment, suddenly, the ski lift felt like it was very very very high-up, and the air tasted very very very cold and I couldn't wait to get my feet back to the ground.
When I've had co-workes or other people I know say racist things I'm never prepared to confront them. Who wants to be the crabby one? You keep more friends by letting some things go. And maybe, it isn't such a big deal. --Some of the time people just don't know better. It's better if we can just laugh it away, right? If we laugh at everyone. (But, I think back, he never did tell a racist joke about white people. And if he expected me to tell one, I didn't know any.)
In fact, I still wonder: why did he bring up racism? I was the only black kid in our group. But nothing racist had happened. No one had even mentioned my race until that moment on the ski lift. When I think about it and other similar things that have happened, it doesn't seem like it was just a slip-up, but more like he was testing to see if I was one of "those" black people who gets angry about racism. You know those unreasonable people who get all bent out of shape if you show them picture of Sambo. The kind of black people who (outrageously) expect that white people should take their feelings in to consideration before, say, playfully using the n-word.
Part of growing up for me, has been drawing lines. I no longer stay friends with people who refuse to talk racism like adults, or with people who have no respect for my feelings. I can take a joke, but I won't put up with anything and everything simply to spare guys like that ski instructor from the uncomfortable feelings that comes along with being called racist. I don't need everyone to like me. If if anyone wants to dislike me for pointing out the racist things that they have said or done, before you try to scold me please consider the double standard implicit your defensiveness.
*feel the sarcasm.
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Date: 1/4/10 23:46 (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 1/4/10 23:54 (UTC)(no subject)
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Date: 2/4/10 00:44 (UTC)