Al Qaeda's peace plan!

[ddstory.livejournal.com]

...Or rather, the plan of a self-appointed peace envoy who presumes to speak on behalf of the entire Al Qaeda (if such an organization really exists, as opposed to being a mere label which most extremists tend to stick to themselves at this point). Anyway, behold the ingenious plan:

http://edition.cnn.com/2012/09/10/world/meast/zawahiri-peace-plan/index.html

It has bullet points, OMG!

• U.S. and West to stop intervening in Muslim lands
• U.S. to stop interfering in Muslim education
• U.S. to end the war on Islam
• U.S. to release all Islamist prisoners.

Oh, he even has some instructions for his fellow Islamists, who should change their behavior and act nicely from now on:

• Stop attacks on Western and U.S. interests
• Protect legitimate Western and U.S. interests in Muslim lands
• Stop provoking the U.S. and the West

I say that's brilliant! And I wish him good luck with that!

Apparently, for some mysterious reason this guy believes he's in a unique position to end all the violence throughout all the Middle East and elsewhere around the world, simply by being Ayman al-Zawahiri's beloved brother. Like a Messiah, kindof. Well, sure, he hasn't met his famous bro for many years, since he has spent 14 years in Egyptian prison on charges of terrorism and conspiring for the Sadat assassination in 1981 (charges he keeps denying to this very day). But, on the other hand, Ayman is his brother, man! He must listen to him!

"I do not represent a particular group. My role is of a mediator between them and the West". Them, in this case, being "all Islamists". What's left for us is to wait and hope that his brother will listen to him, and peace and love between East and West will reign from now on, forever and ever.

By the way, Osama bin Laden did come up with a similar "peace" proposal back in 2004. It even had some bullet points, similar to this plan here. Obviously that worked pretty well for him. Maybe because he spent most of that typing space to rant about Halliburton and Bush, which, we have to admit, might've been quite fashionable at the time, but was more suitable for a Michael Moore "documentary", rather than a plan worth wasting anything beyond a cursory glance upon.

Comments

[underlankers.livejournal.com]

Well, he's at least a well-meaning crackpot, I suppose. Nobody in the Islamist groups not associated with him would ever listen to him and the West has no interests served by recognizing Islamism's gains won by the treaty when they can't win by the suicide bombing. The USA was given *that* joyride in Vietnam, and I rather doubt we want another Kissinger to someone else's Le Duc Tho.

[ddstory.livejournal.com]

Careful whose name you're evoking, lest it be construed as a wish somewhere "up there". ::)

[underlankers.livejournal.com]

In that case, for maximum LULZ, I evoke mighty Ares, God of War. Just to see what happens. ;P

[abomvubuso.livejournal.com]

Not sure how he's expecting to unite all factions within the Islamist network behind a single set of rules, something none of their leaders and strategists have ever been able to do (not that they tried anyway); not to mention that even if he did, someone'd be sure to break said truce in no time, if not for anything else, but for the shits'n'giggles. Then we're all back to square 1.

[underlankers.livejournal.com]

Especially when we bring up the obvious point of how he expects the likes of Hezbollah and Iran's other proxies to care what some Sunni has to say. I mean it's all well and good to consider this an ideal from his POV, but what reason does Tehran have to listen to this particular fellow? Or for that matter Hamas. Which while Sunni I think is not interested in any kind of regional peace when it can't even beat Fatah in a civil war within Palestinian factions.

[abomvubuso.livejournal.com]

Can't we just arm the Sunni and let them fight the Shia, then reverse the roles at some point?

Oh wait. We've already tried that. :X

[terminator44.livejournal.com]

Not to mention how to get the U.S. government to go along with this non-intervention pact. They don't even listen to the people who elect them into office. They sure aren't going to listen to him. Hell, they'll probably drone strike his ass for being related to a prominent extremist.

[abomvubuso.livejournal.com]

There are as many expectations from the government as the people there are in your country.

[malasadas.livejournal.com]

[htpcl.livejournal.com]

Should'a been a Mujahideen guy with a turban and yataghan.

[malasadas.livejournal.com]

Budget cuts.

[nairiporter.livejournal.com]

Japanese bank clerk with secret superhero ninja nightlife would serve too.

[luvdovz.livejournal.com]

• U.S. to end the war on Islam

What does this even mean.

[sophia-sadek.livejournal.com]

The War on Islam is the Muslim equivalent to the War on Christmas.

[yes-justice.livejournal.com]

U.S. and West to stop intervening in Muslim lands
• U.S. to stop interfering in Muslim education
• U.S. to end the war on Islam
• U.S. to release all Islamist prisoners.


Those sound a lot like the reasons we were attacked on 9/11/01 in the first place.

Islam is so delicate.

[mahnmut.livejournal.com]

I thought they attacked us because they hate our freedomz.

[fizzyland.livejournal.com]

Based on the results(Patriot Act, spying on U.S. citizens, etc.) I concluded that W and Congress hated our freedoms even more.

[underlankers.livejournal.com]

A totalitarian regime never has problems with terrorists, because if anyone raises a hand against it, the dictator will just have their villages slaughtered and razed to the last brick and the ringleaders strangled to death with piano wire. In exchange for no terrorism, people are just denied all genuine freedom and smothered in the embrace of the government in every aspect of their life, to the point of having mini-microphones in their soup. In such a case the cure is far worse than the disease.

[yes-justice.livejournal.com]

• U.S. to stop interfering in Muslim education

GOD DAMN YOU RICHARD DAWKINS!

[nairiporter.livejournal.com]

How timely. He makes these statements on 9-11. He thinks he is smart, doesn't he? Maybe he expects a place in the Council of Elders.

[htpcl.livejournal.com]

Wow. This has been all over the news around here. As if the guy is some kind of genius who'a just invented a brand new peace strategy for saving the world.

Slow news day... ON 9-11? Really!?

[ddstory.livejournal.com]

The 24/7 news media doesn't seem to differ that much around the various parts of the world.

[sophia-sadek.livejournal.com]

They are calling for the release of Sheikh Omar Abdel-Rahman for starters. I have mixed feelings about the case against the Blind Sheikh. Although he did conduct a campaign of militancy, he saw the bombing of civilian targets as counter-productive. Releasing him from custody does not look like a viable option. On the other hand, that is what I once thought about the destruction of the Berlin Wall.

[ddstory.livejournal.com]

"Counter-productive"?

LOL.

[chron-job.livejournal.com]

Making a deal with a guy who says he represents Al Qaeda, is like making a deal with a guy who says he represents Anonymous.