Al Qaeda's peace plan!

[ddstory.livejournal.com]

...Or rather, the plan of a self-appointed peace envoy who presumes to speak on behalf of the entire Al Qaeda (if such an organization really exists, as opposed to being a mere label which most extremists tend to stick to themselves at this point). Anyway, behold the ingenious plan:

http://edition.cnn.com/2012/09/10/world/meast/zawahiri-peace-plan/index.html

It has bullet points, OMG!

• U.S. and West to stop intervening in Muslim lands
• U.S. to stop interfering in Muslim education
• U.S. to end the war on Islam
• U.S. to release all Islamist prisoners.

Oh, he even has some instructions for his fellow Islamists, who should change their behavior and act nicely from now on:

• Stop attacks on Western and U.S. interests
• Protect legitimate Western and U.S. interests in Muslim lands
• Stop provoking the U.S. and the West

I say that's brilliant! And I wish him good luck with that!

Apparently, for some mysterious reason this guy believes he's in a unique position to end all the violence throughout all the Middle East and elsewhere around the world, simply by being Ayman al-Zawahiri's beloved brother. Like a Messiah, kindof. Well, sure, he hasn't met his famous bro for many years, since he has spent 14 years in Egyptian prison on charges of terrorism and conspiring for the Sadat assassination in 1981 (charges he keeps denying to this very day). But, on the other hand, Ayman is his brother, man! He must listen to him!

"I do not represent a particular group. My role is of a mediator between them and the West". Them, in this case, being "all Islamists". What's left for us is to wait and hope that his brother will listen to him, and peace and love between East and West will reign from now on, forever and ever.

By the way, Osama bin Laden did come up with a similar "peace" proposal back in 2004. It even had some bullet points, similar to this plan here. Obviously that worked pretty well for him. Maybe because he spent most of that typing space to rant about Halliburton and Bush, which, we have to admit, might've been quite fashionable at the time, but was more suitable for a Michael Moore "documentary", rather than a plan worth wasting anything beyond a cursory glance upon.

Comments

[underlankers.livejournal.com]

Well, he's at least a well-meaning crackpot, I suppose. Nobody in the Islamist groups not associated with him would ever listen to him and the West has no interests served by recognizing Islamism's gains won by the treaty when they can't win by the suicide bombing. The USA was given *that* joyride in Vietnam, and I rather doubt we want another Kissinger to someone else's Le Duc Tho.

[ddstory.livejournal.com]

Careful whose name you're evoking, lest it be construed as a wish somewhere "up there". ::)

[abomvubuso.livejournal.com]

Not sure how he's expecting to unite all factions within the Islamist network behind a single set of rules, something none of their leaders and strategists have ever been able to do (not that they tried anyway); not to mention that even if he did, someone'd be sure to break said truce in no time, if not for anything else, but for the shits'n'giggles. Then we're all back to square 1.

[underlankers.livejournal.com]

In that case, for maximum LULZ, I evoke mighty Ares, God of War. Just to see what happens. ;P

[underlankers.livejournal.com]

Especially when we bring up the obvious point of how he expects the likes of Hezbollah and Iran's other proxies to care what some Sunni has to say. I mean it's all well and good to consider this an ideal from his POV, but what reason does Tehran have to listen to this particular fellow? Or for that matter Hamas. Which while Sunni I think is not interested in any kind of regional peace when it can't even beat Fatah in a civil war within Palestinian factions.

[abomvubuso.livejournal.com]

Can't we just arm the Sunni and let them fight the Shia, then reverse the roles at some point?

Oh wait. We've already tried that. :X

[malasadas.livejournal.com]

[underlankers.livejournal.com]

We also tried that with secular Arab nationalism in the 1980s. It worked so well Saddam built a huge military machine by 1991 that was destroyed in one of the most lopsided wars in human history, setting in motion the processes that have led to the USA's accidental Iran-wank. That's actually why I fear a US invasion of Iran, at the rate that we've messed up the one in Iraq, we'll wind up with the Achaemenid Empire Mk. II: Electric Boogaloo.

[htpcl.livejournal.com]

Should'a been a Mujahideen guy with a turban and yataghan.

[ddstory.livejournal.com]

I'm cool with that. Ares is hot, if a bit rough.

[malasadas.livejournal.com]

Budget cuts.

[luvdovz.livejournal.com]

• U.S. to end the war on Islam

What does this even mean.

[yes-justice.livejournal.com]

U.S. and West to stop intervening in Muslim lands
• U.S. to stop interfering in Muslim education
• U.S. to end the war on Islam
• U.S. to release all Islamist prisoners.


Those sound a lot like the reasons we were attacked on 9/11/01 in the first place.

Islam is so delicate.

[mahnmut.livejournal.com]

I thought they attacked us because they hate our freedomz.

[fizzyland.livejournal.com]

Based on the results(Patriot Act, spying on U.S. citizens, etc.) I concluded that W and Congress hated our freedoms even more.

[terminator44.livejournal.com]

Not to mention how to get the U.S. government to go along with this non-intervention pact. They don't even listen to the people who elect them into office. They sure aren't going to listen to him. Hell, they'll probably drone strike his ass for being related to a prominent extremist.

[mahnmut.livejournal.com]

Good point:

Drone strikes on "supposed" terrorists claiming civilian lives as "collateral"; keeping Guantanamo open where prisoners are held indefinitely without trial; warrantless wiretapping and government mining for people's electronic communications; warrant to kill US citizens on suspicions of being terrorist-related; demanding from other countries the extradition of online whistleblowers for spreading sensitive information...

W's successor doesn't seem to have improved things as much as we were led to "hope" and "believe".

[yes-justice.livejournal.com]

Its not like everyone in our military industrial complex was willing to give peace a chance when Obama took office.

But, he's definitely a war president now.

[abomvubuso.livejournal.com]

There are as many expectations from the government as the people there are in your country.

[mahnmut.livejournal.com]

Curiously, some of the generals in your military look the most prone to giving peace a chance, like Petraeus (correct me if I'm wrong), and Powell (probably now feeling extremely guilty for being part of Rumsfeld's bullshit campaign that led to the war).

It has been said that every prez ought to have fought at least one war in their tenure. Those with two terms, probably two wars. W had 2 terms, started 2 wars. Obama? If Libya could count as a war, in case he gets a 2nd term, Iran looks like the most likely next target. Or Syria.

[yes-justice.livejournal.com]

• U.S. to stop interfering in Muslim education

GOD DAMN YOU RICHARD DAWKINS!

[htpcl.livejournal.com]

I don't know, when was the last POTUS who wasn't a war-time president?

[nairiporter.livejournal.com]

How timely. He makes these statements on 9-11. He thinks he is smart, doesn't he? Maybe he expects a place in the Council of Elders.

[nairiporter.livejournal.com]

Japanese bank clerk with secret superhero ninja nightlife would serve too.

[fizzyland.livejournal.com]

Democrats have to keep up the pretenses of a Strongman America or they get gutted and I've yet to see a President who didn't look on the expansion of Executive Orders, etc. and decide to dial that back. So, secrecy and expanded privilege is a plate they all gorge upon with gusto.

Sadly, like the attempted closing of Guantanamo, dems & repubs close ranks to keep our abuses of power and the Patriot Acts that allow them, fully in force.