Friday Fun: The Fundamentalist and the Logos

[sophia-sadek.livejournal.com]

In the beginning was the Logos. It was pure and clear, unsullied by deceit. A fundamentalist happened upon it quite by accident for fundamentalists have no desire to seek the Logos. As he gazed upon it in awe, he thought to himself, "This is good. This is really good. In fact this is too good. It will make me look bad."

To prevent others from encountering the Logos, the fundamentalist built a fence around it. He used all of his talent of guile to fashion a false replica of the Logos in a different spot with a broad path diverging from the narrow path to the fenced-in Logos. He stood watch at the place where the paths diverged to intercept anyone seeking the Logos.

One day a Pythagorean came up the path and asked the fundamentalist if he knew the way to the Logos. "We call it Verbum in our tongue, and yes, I can point the way for the price of an obol." The Pythagorean fished an obol out of his wallet and turned it over for directions to follow the broad path toward the Verbum. After a short trip along the path, the Pythagorean encountered the Verbum. He immediately realized that it was not the Logos and that the fundamentalist was up to no good. As he returned, passing the fundamentalist, his expression was dour. "What do you think of the Verbum?" queried the fundamentalist. The Pythagorean mumbled something about impressing the simple minded as he shuffled by. The fundamentalist did not want the Pythagorean to spill the beans so he invoked the Verbum to cast a spell on the Pythagorean, turning him into a granite statue. For years after that, devout followers of the Pythagorean showed up from time to time to lay flowers at the foot of the statue. They did not take it for granite: it was as if there were a spirit trapped inside.

Some time later, a Stoic walked up the path towards the Logos and the fundamentalist steered him in the direction of the Verbum, collecting the obligatory obol. After a disappointing encounter, the Stoic returned to the fork to chat with the fundamentalist, asking him what he had called it. "In our tongue it is the Verbum." The Stoic made a crack about the Verbum not being the Logos. With that, the fundamentalist invoked the Verbum to cast a spell on the Stoic. As a result he was torched to death and his admirers erected a statue of him at the place of his death.

After a time a Cynic approached the fundamentalist in search of the Logos. He payed his obol and followed the way to the Verbum, returning in great haste. "Where are you off to, good fellow?" The Cynic said something about preparing people for the coming of the antichrist. The fundamentalist realized that this was a reference to him, so he invoked the Verbum to cast a spell on the Cynic, chaining him to the wall of a dragon's lair. The Cynic was too old to be of interest to the dragon, but he was forced to endure the smell of the dragon's breath which seemed like a combination of garlic and maidenhead.

At last a Peripatetic approached the fundamentalist in search of the Logos. After paying his obol and touring the Verbum, he returned in a jovial mood. "That is clearly not the Logos: it is the wrong color and half of the dyad is missing." The fundamentalist asked him to clarify his statement. "Your Verbum is silvery like the Moon, not golden like the Sun. You have a fish but its complement is not there. I have a great idea, though: I'll go back and chat up your Verbum. I can get a pretty penny from the hoi polloi and you can pocket a fortune in obols." The fundamentalist shook on the deal and both became fabulously wealthy.

What would you say is the moral of this story?

Comments

[a-new-machine.livejournal.com]

That you don't like fundamentalists.

News at 11.

But I do.

[sophia-sadek.livejournal.com]

They are so very entertaining. How could I not like them?

Re: But I do.

[ddstory.livejournal.com]

You like'm so much you can't stop dreaming about them.

Re: But I do.

[sophia-sadek.livejournal.com]

That has a nightmarish quality to it.

[policraticus.livejournal.com]

What would you say is the moral of this story?

A little learning is a dangerous thing;
drink deep, or taste not the Pierian spring:
there shallow draughts intoxicate the brain,
and drinking largely sobers us again.

I like it.

[sophia-sadek.livejournal.com]

It rocks.

Re: I like it.

[policraticus.livejournal.com]

It was written for you.

Re: I like it.

[sophia-sadek.livejournal.com]

Thank you.

Re: I like it.

[policraticus.livejournal.com]

Don't thank me, thank Mr. Pope.

Re: I like it.

[sophia-sadek.livejournal.com]

Your quote seems to appear in a number of texts. This (http://books.google.com/books?id=9eyR7IRr7McC&dq=shallow%20draughts%20intoxicate&pg=PA250#v=onepage&q=shallow%20draughts%20intoxicate&f=false) is an interesting reference:

We may see here why the church visits with her censures whatever tends to unsettle or disturb the faith of the people, for which an unbelieving and unreasoning world charges her with denying reason, and being hostile to freedom of thought and scientific investigation. We do not hope to convince the world that it is unjust. The church is willing that every man who can and will think for himself should do so; but the difficulty is, that only here and there one, even at best, does or can so think. It is not that she is unwilling that men should reason, if they will really reason, on the grounds of faith, but that most persons who attempt to do so only reason a little way, just far enough to raise doubts in their minds, doubts which a little more knowledge would solve, and then stop, and refuse or are unable to reason any farther. It is the halfreason, the half-learning, the halfscience that does the mischief; as Pope sings:

" A little learning is a dangerous thing:
Drink deep, or taste not the Pierian spring;
There shallow draughts intoxicate the brain.
But drinking largely sobers us again.',

Many may take " shallow draughts," but very few can " drink deep," and those shallow draughts, which are all that except the very few can take, are more hurtful to both intellectual and moral health than none at all. The church certainly does not encourage those to reason on sacred subjects who can or will reason only far enough to doubt, and to puff themselves up with pride and conceit. She, however, teaches all the faith, and gives to every one who will listen to her voice as solid reasons for it as the wisest and most learned and scientific have or can have. In this, however the world may blame or vituperate her, she only pursues the course which experience and common sense approve and pronounce wise and just.

I'd say the bloke is invoking the Verbum here.

[meus-ovatio.livejournal.com]

Trick question. There is no moral to the story. The story may have a point, but but the literary tropes involving morals have nothing to do with this piece of writing.

The only thing resembling a moral to the story is that some people got rich.

I suggest a rewrite to get rid of this mistake.

Nice try.

[sophia-sadek.livejournal.com]

You are so close and yet so far.

Re: Nice try.

[meus-ovatio.livejournal.com]

That's nice.

Re: Nice try.

[kylinrouge.livejournal.com]

My interpretation is the only correct interpretation.

Re: Nice try.

[meus-ovatio.livejournal.com]

No, mine is.

[underlankers.livejournal.com]

Word, dude.

Reason...

[sophia-sadek.livejournal.com]

... and oratory, dude.

[namey.livejournal.com]

Admit it: You wrote this whole thing for the sake of the granite pun.

I will not.

[sophia-sadek.livejournal.com]

You are probably the only person to read that far.

[eracerhead.livejournal.com]

What would you say is the moral of this story?

The Verbum does not like toast.

Is that with or without jam?

[sophia-sadek.livejournal.com]

I cannot figure out where toast comes out of the story, unless there is an idiomatic expression about not liking toast with which I am unfamiliar.

You would probably be better off coming to the conclusion that the Verbum does not hold a candle to the Logos. (Holding a candle being one of those idiomatic expressions that often trips up the language learner.)