Gay as a pejorative

[verytwistedmind.livejournal.com]

“Ladies and Gentlemen, electric cars are gay,” Vaughn’s character Ronnie Valentine says. “I mean, not ‘homosexual’ gay, but ‘my parents are chaperoning the dance gay.”

-         The Dilemma

 

This preview has been getting a lot of negative press because of the use of the word ‘gay’ as a pejorative.

This is a pet peeve of mine among young people. I’ve noticed that 10-19 year olds seem to default to ‘gay’ way too much. So for me, it’s not a question of sensitivity to treatment of homosexuals as it is to the lame minds of our youth.

Ron Howard has said he will not remove this comment from the movie. I kind of think it fits the sort of comment and back peddle you typically hear from a Vince Vaughn character.

http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/the_big_picture/2010/10/ron-howard-on-the-dilemmas-gay-joke-it-stays-in-the-movie.html

So my questions:

1)       What do you do when you hear someone say “that’s gay” as a pejorative?

a.       What is a more apropos term/slang? I don’t want ‘lame’ coming back because of my time spent in the 80s…. I feel ‘lame’ is the gateway word to ‘gnarly’. Gnarly makes me want to gag myself with a spoon…like totally.

2)       Are you planning on seeing this movie? Does the ‘gay’ comment affect your decision?

3)      Is it okay to call Sponge Bob and Flapjack gay okay? I mean…come on they are gay..right?        

Comments

[zen-monk.livejournal.com]

1). I would say to them that I don't approve of that term just to show them that there are people who find that to be inappropriate and would hopefully encourage them to stop using the term. I won't get all preachy or anything, but I would go into full-on "NO" mode and move on.

a). What's wrong with "lame?" I think it would occasionally be appropriate to let someone know that they're handicapped in a way that's not literal, and to let them know they need to catch up.

2). I don't think I'll see this movie anyway.

3). I'm going to invoke a link that may be cliched but still apt:

http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/HaveAGayOldTime

[nikoel.livejournal.com]

ableism (http://disabledfeminists.com/2009/10/12/ableist-word-profile-lame/) is just as bad as sexism and homophobia. There are other words out there that are both more succinct and unoffensive.

On the word lame:

[verytwistedmind.livejournal.com]

I feel 'lame' as a pejorative or even just as a description of a situation is far more accurate than 'gay'. Gay used to mean happy but is now exclusively used to describe someone's sexual preference.

Very rarely does 'that's gay' have anything to do with sex when it's used.

Lame however can mean "weak; inadequate; unsatisfactory; clumsy:".
http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/lame

Disabled people are rarely called lame. They are more often referred to as handicapped or special needs. In fact I have never heard anyone use the word lame to describe a person with a disability. Maybe the exception would be in a book but nothing modern.

Also, the word 'lame' should not be removed from our negative lexicon because it has intergraded uses such as lame-duck

http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&q=define%3A+lame+duck&aq=0&aqi=l1g2&aql=&oq=lame+duck+de&gs_rfai=

Taking ubrage with the use of lame is a bit hyper sensitive. I'd compare it to getting butt-hurt over niggardly.

Re: On the word lame:

[nikoel.livejournal.com]

That fact that you're defending using a word you've been told is offensive to some people is lacking in sensitivity.

Re: On the word lame:

[verytwistedmind.livejournal.com]

I feel some intellectual honesty is needed. Simply say "that offends me!" is not justification for me to not use a word. Especially if I feel the word is being used in its correct context. I've shown the context of the word, it's definition and why it should be used.

I was just about to comment on your linking lame to moron. Moron is also often apropos in the context to someone's intellectual prowess.

Words have power and they have meanings. Their true meanings should be respected.

My dislike of the use of gay as a pejorative isn't because it lacks sensitivity to the homosexual community but because it doesn't mean what it's being used to be a pejarative against.

However, calling someone weak, mentally inferior or completely lacking in sanity seems often appropriate

Re: On the word lame:

[nikoel.livejournal.com]

Well my point is about compassion, not proper word usage. Being sensitive and compassionate towards other people is more important to me. If it's not to you, then I can't help you. Just be prepared for people thinking you're an asshole because you don't give a shit whether you've offended them or not.

Re: On the word lame:

[kgbman.livejournal.com]

There's a difference between a speaker intentionally being an asshole, and listeners who are overly-sensitive whiners who need to grow a thicker skin.

Re: On the word lame:

[nikoel.livejournal.com]

Again, it comes down to compassion. I guess you either have it or you don't. Calling marginalized groups "overly-sensitive whiners" for pointing out that you're marginalizing them further proves to me that you don't.

Re: On the word lame:

[kgbman.livejournal.com]

I am deeply hurt and offended by your insinuation that I lack compassion. You are very lacking in compassion.

Re: On the word lame:

[mahnmut.livejournal.com]

So follow your own advice and grow a thicker skin.

Re: On the word lame:

[ccr1138.livejournal.com]

LOL. If over-sensitive whiners think I am an asshole, my job here is done.

Re: On the word lame:

[gunslnger.livejournal.com]

That's a moronic sentiment.

Responding to you and not the long thread afterwards...

[zen-monk.livejournal.com]

I do understand your reasoning, and to many the word "lame" is offensive especially to those who have mobility issues.

However, I don't believe that the word only describes people who have mobility issues, and that there are many definitions of the term "lame" that goes with the context of how it's used. So, when I used that term, I don't immediately think of someone who has been crippled or just a little slow.

Because by that reasoning, babies would be considered lame and that's just not the correct way to describe them. Unless someone has a real issue against babies. I do feel that certain words can be used to get the correct response towards it, e. g. (pardon my language) If something is fucked up, then there's no further need of emphasising how dire the situation is. But it's not like I'm going to start describing a lot of things as "lame" because it would lose its power really fast and become just another throwaway word. I will not use the word "gay" to say that something is stupid or inferior or in a negative context because it really is a label to describe someone's sexual orientation.

Re: Responding to you and not the long thread afterwards...

[nikoel.livejournal.com]

The point is that someone who has a disability might be offended and hurt by hearing the word lame regardless of what you think of when you say it. Context matters, but when someone tells you you're being offensive by using a certain word, your intent simply does not matter. If you continue to use a word that you don't find offensive but someone else has already explained to you why it is offensive, that only shows your actions as uncaring regardless of whether you actually are ableist.