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talkpoliticsIt's almost time. Well, almost almost time - but definitely not too early to begin to become tired of talking about it already. Let's meet our contestants.
Joe Biden (+220) - Inflation, recession, war, accelerating cognitive decline, questionable business ventures with his son, inappropriate showers with his daughter - things like this would sink most candidates. This isn't most candidates though. This is Scranton Joe. He is resilient, and also your early favorite to repeat.
Donald Trump (+330) - Can he run as a winner after losing? Can he run as a guy who gets things done when there isn't a wall? Can he run as anti-establishmemt after surrounding himself with establishment last time around? Yes. Sad.
Ron DeSantis (+370) - The fiery Republican Plan B. If there is a breaking point where people using the word 'woke' incessantly become more annoying than the actual 'woke' - he'll probably get us there quicker. There is a rumor Trump is considering Tiny D for a nickname, and that is reason enough to keep watching.
Kamala Harris (+2400) - She's black, she's a woman, and if you're a Democrat that almost seals the deal (what else matters?) - Unfortunately, there is something holding her back. It would be much easier for democrats to find a black woman without her condition. (heythatwasforeshawdowing)
Pete Buttigieg (+3000) - Technically, gay white males still qualify for victimhood, but they're clearly at the bottom. Whatever gay bump he could get would likely be cancelled out by the awful run he's had as transportation secretary. He is the best speaker of all democrats mentioned to this point, don't underestimate a good bullshitter.
Gavin Newsom (+3200) - A straight white male, eeek! There is hope though, I see a path to victory. A fairly significant portion of democrats care (or pretend to care) about the environment. If you're a lefty worried about the existential threat of climate change™ - Newsom is the first democrat listed who doesn't have ties to an administration that's bombed a major underwater oil pipeline. Yay earth!
Nikki Haley (+4000) - Tons of 'experience', powerful backers, zero conviction in anything she says. She's essentially the Hillary of the right, but without a beloved spouse to ride the coattails of. Will she break the glass ceiling? Maybe, but only if the glass ceiling is better than 4th in her own state.
Michelle Obama (+4200) - She's black, she's a woman, and she's smart - as in she is not legitimately stupid, she isn't the absolute dumbest fucking person you've ever encountered in the world of politics, your body does not brace for shame whenever she speaks. If you are a Republican - or not but pulling for that team next season - you'd probably rather not see her in the final.
Mike Pence (+7000) - He's got the energy of Mitt Romney, he's got the dynamic stage presence of Jeb Bush, he's got the dignified statesman act down better than anyone else in the game. He's also got no chance, the team is clearly moving in a different direction.
Early hunches? Who do you like on the list? Who do you hate? Who should be added? What's for breakfast?
Joe Biden (+220) - Inflation, recession, war, accelerating cognitive decline, questionable business ventures with his son, inappropriate showers with his daughter - things like this would sink most candidates. This isn't most candidates though. This is Scranton Joe. He is resilient, and also your early favorite to repeat.
Donald Trump (+330) - Can he run as a winner after losing? Can he run as a guy who gets things done when there isn't a wall? Can he run as anti-establishmemt after surrounding himself with establishment last time around? Yes. Sad.
Ron DeSantis (+370) - The fiery Republican Plan B. If there is a breaking point where people using the word 'woke' incessantly become more annoying than the actual 'woke' - he'll probably get us there quicker. There is a rumor Trump is considering Tiny D for a nickname, and that is reason enough to keep watching.
Kamala Harris (+2400) - She's black, she's a woman, and if you're a Democrat that almost seals the deal (what else matters?) - Unfortunately, there is something holding her back. It would be much easier for democrats to find a black woman without her condition. (heythatwasforeshawdowing)
Pete Buttigieg (+3000) - Technically, gay white males still qualify for victimhood, but they're clearly at the bottom. Whatever gay bump he could get would likely be cancelled out by the awful run he's had as transportation secretary. He is the best speaker of all democrats mentioned to this point, don't underestimate a good bullshitter.
Gavin Newsom (+3200) - A straight white male, eeek! There is hope though, I see a path to victory. A fairly significant portion of democrats care (or pretend to care) about the environment. If you're a lefty worried about the existential threat of climate change™ - Newsom is the first democrat listed who doesn't have ties to an administration that's bombed a major underwater oil pipeline. Yay earth!
Nikki Haley (+4000) - Tons of 'experience', powerful backers, zero conviction in anything she says. She's essentially the Hillary of the right, but without a beloved spouse to ride the coattails of. Will she break the glass ceiling? Maybe, but only if the glass ceiling is better than 4th in her own state.
Michelle Obama (+4200) - She's black, she's a woman, and she's smart - as in she is not legitimately stupid, she isn't the absolute dumbest fucking person you've ever encountered in the world of politics, your body does not brace for shame whenever she speaks. If you are a Republican - or not but pulling for that team next season - you'd probably rather not see her in the final.
Mike Pence (+7000) - He's got the energy of Mitt Romney, he's got the dynamic stage presence of Jeb Bush, he's got the dignified statesman act down better than anyone else in the game. He's also got no chance, the team is clearly moving in a different direction.
Early hunches? Who do you like on the list? Who do you hate? Who should be added? What's for breakfast?
(no subject)
Date: 19/3/23 19:19 (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 19/3/23 19:51 (UTC)(exhales)
What i mean is i feel your pain of eventually having to choose between reluctantly voting for some asshole you barely agree with or someone you agree with 80% of the time who has no chance.
As of now, is Marianne your #1 (of people expected to be on the ballot)?
(no subject)
Date: 19/3/23 19:45 (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 19/3/23 19:51 (UTC)