Friday Lulz: Miles Gloriosus!

[paft.livejournal.com]

My bride!
My bride!
I've come to claim my bride,
Come tenderly to crush her against my side.
Let haste be made!
I cannot be delayed:
There are lands to conquer, cities to loot and peoples to degrade.

In this number from the 1966 musical, A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum, Leon Greene is playing a stock character who’s been around for well over a thousand years, going back as far as Plautus. Miles Gloriosus is the essence of the boastful, arrogant, and brutal soldier.

I’ve always loved the cynicism of this scene of Gloriosus marching into town. It skewers the flipside of the grandeur that was Rome (or for that matter, the “grandeur” that is any other empire.)

(And yes, that is the great Zero Mostel near the end)

My bride,
My bride,
Come bring to me my bride,
My lust for her no longer can be denied!
Convey the news, I have no time to lose,
There are towns to plunder,
Temples to burn
And women to abuse.

I am my ideal!
I, Miles Gloriosus,
I, slaughterer of thousands,
I, oppressor of the meek,
Subduer of the weak,
Degrader of the Greek,
Destroyer of the Turk,
Must hurry back to work.

I, Miles Gloriosus
I, paragon of virtue,
I, in war the most admired,
In wit the most inspired,
In love the most desired,
In dress the best displayed,
I am a parade!

My bride!
My bride!
Inform my lucky bride:
The fabled arms of
Miles are open wide.

Make haste!
Make haste!
I have no time to waste:
There are shrines
I should be sacking,
Ribs I should be cracking,
Eyes to gouge and booty to divide.

Bring me my bride!

Crossposted from my Livejournal blog.

*

Comments

[langostino.livejournal.com]

♥

Those are the mightiest thighs that I ever have theen...I mean!

[montecristo.livejournal.com]

Outrageously hillarious musical. Classic. Zero Mostel, Phil Silvers, and Buster Keaton; you can't beat that! It's brilliant and beautiful and this is my favorite scene from the movie. Bravo.

Re: Those are the mightiest thighs that I ever have theen...I mean!

[paft.livejournal.com]

All great -- especially Phil Silvers, who's my favorite. Ever seen the 1942 movie "Roxie Hart?" You can see a young Phil Silvers steal entire scenes as a cynical crime photographer. He does a great Charleston, too.

SEAL Team Six come to mind

[sophia-sadek.livejournal.com]

I can see a verse about having terrorists to assassinate in the name of just-us.

God of pimps, panderers and go-betweens...

[sandwichwarrior.livejournal.com]

Re: God of pimps, panderers and go-betweens...

[paft.livejournal.com]

The ever-present Jack Gilford! If you grew up in the '60s or '70s you knew this guy's face. A real workhorse of a comic who was in everything from movies, to sitcoms to Crackerjack commercials.

Re: God of pimps, panderers and go-betweens...

[telemann.livejournal.com]

I could have sworn he was in Rosemary's Baby, but found out he wasn't. Loved him in Cocoon though ;)

[underlankers.livejournal.com]

This is all Greek to me.

[dreadfulpenny81.livejournal.com]

Well I applaud PAFT for finally stepping out of her bubble.

[ddstory.livejournal.com]

Meanwhile, mividaloca99 remains true to her type of conduct, namely: who's the OP? Let's talk about the OP.