(-: Friday Lulz :-)

[htpcl.livejournal.com]

Hey y'all! It's the Friday Lulz thread, yo!


Want an anecdote? Here's an anecdote.


How do people go to a birthday party?

- The Englishman: with their dignity.
- The Frenchman: with a cake.
- The Russian: with vodka.
- The Bulgarian: with friends.

How do people return from a birthday party?

- The Englishman: with dignity.
- The Frenchman: with the housewife.
- The Russian: crawling on all fours.
- The Bulgarian: with the remainder of the vodka.

What's passing through people's minds as they're returning from a birthday party?

- The Englishman: "God, did I preserve my dignity?"
- The Frenchman: "God, I think the daughter looked prettier!"
- The Russian: "My God, they beat me up so badly, but I was hitting back too!"
- The Bulgarian: "Damn it, the cake remained behind. I could've taken it too..."


Your turn, suckaz!
 

Comments

I meant to ask the polyglots out there.

[luvdovz.livejournal.com]

Come out, come out wherever you are!

Confess it all! How many languages do you speak? What are those languages, how did you learn them, how well do you speak them?

Re: I meant to ask the polyglots out there.

[htpcl.livejournal.com]

Go ahead, ask the question in all the languages that you speak.
And don't forget to tell yours.

Bulgarian, English, Russian (fluent) + most of Macedonian, some Spanish, some Serbian, and some German here. I used to go to a Swedish course too.

Re: I meant to ask the polyglots out there.

[underlankers.livejournal.com]

I speak English and some German, and can read Latin.

Re: I meant to ask the polyglots out there.

[ddstory.livejournal.com]

Icelandic, German, French, English and a little Italian.

Re: I meant to ask the polyglots out there.

[peamasii.livejournal.com]

Romanian - native
English - learned in primary school
French - learned in high school
Portuguese - learned in college
Spanish - learned incidentally
Dutch - learned recently

I'm fluent in them (or could become fluent again in the ones I haven't practiced much)

Re: I meant to ask the polyglots out there.

[pmax3.livejournal.com]

Hindi, Punjabi, English (fluent). Okay that's not much, but they all have different scripts so I extra points! I can understand simple Sanskrit too, and most of it with a dictionary.

I am never sure what to answer when someone asks me what my mother tongue is. My Mum and Dad both speak Punjabi (though they know Hindi too), but I'm considerably more comfortable in Hindi. I'm not sure how that came about, though I have some theories (classmates who spoke Hindi etc.). When I talk to my parents I speak in Hindi and they in Punjabi :D

Oh, I can mention Urdu too since it's very similar to Hindi (linguistically Hindi and Urdu are different registers of the same language), but I don't know the script it is normally written in.

Re: I meant to ask the polyglots out there.

[nairiporter.livejournal.com]

I learned English in school, Xhosa at home, Afrikaans on the street, and some German and Spanish at the university. Now I try to learn Russian but it is not easy.

Re: I meant to ask the polyglots out there.

[a-new-machine.livejournal.com]

I used to speak French, after 7 years in school. Haven't used it in like 8 years though, dunno how much I'd remember. After reading this, I feel like a typical world-illiterate American.

Re: I meant to ask the polyglots out there.

[meus-ovatio.livejournal.com]

I speak passable English.

Re: I meant to ask the polyglots out there.

[sandwichwarrior.livejournal.com]

English is my first language, I also speak Russian but with a thick (and very strange, i'm told) accent. Living in the southwest I've picked up a decent amount of colloquial (Mexican) Spanish. I also know the naughtier parts of Farsi, Mandarin, and Tagalog. Which I picked up during my over-seas tour.

Re: I meant to ask the polyglots out there.

[onefatmusicnerd.livejournal.com]

English (Native, well, south eastern US English)

French, I was fluent, from spending a couple years of my youth in a HLM outside of Paris, but I did my PhD work at Louisiana State so now I just speak cuinasse.

Spanish, meh not great, spent some time in Nicaragua in the early/mid-eighties, took it in college and spent some time in Arizona honing it.

Italian, read not speak, wrote some stuff on fascism, had to learn the language.

Latin, the shit you do for fun in graduate school is insane.

Occitan, very poorly, Got to have a hobby...

[underlankers.livejournal.com]

I've come up with one type of twist on some usual cliches in my Omniverse Tales (which is where my screen-name came from). Usually Demons are Chaotic Evil and Angels Lawful Good pleasant types, where Demons are both Chaotic evil and with a face even a mother couldn't love. In the Omniverse both Angels and Demons are mind-breaking Eldritch Abominations, the Angels moreso than the Demons in appearance. Yet the Angels are Lawful Good and benevolent (even if sometimes the help is not a kind that someone would necessarily *want*) and the Demons are Lawful Evil and brutal enough to level an entire city and make drinking bowls out of skulls just for the LULZ.

Another twist is that the Empire, where the stories are set, *does* defeat a Rebel Alliance against the evil regime. The twist is that the Rebel Alliance is an alliance of ultra-reactionary types that want a monarchic, autocratic regime as opposed to an extant Diarchy under an incompetent bumbler of Nicholas II-level proportions, while both sides are morally very dark grey. And the Empire, in order to win, has to undergo a de facto cultural revolution where the enemy side hurts itself badly by an internal civil war halfway through the war that only worsens a growing power imbalance with the eventual victors.

Though the funniest one has to be when one of the Cthulhu cultists encounters someone talking about tentacle sex on the Internet, gets drawn into the discussion, and reveals that not only does Great Cthulhu not like the idea of sex with humans but he finds the whole concept both disgusting and appalling and wishes to know if humans would have sex with millipedes.

It's a pretty dark comedy but it's one of my favorites thus far. :-P.

a (cheesy) joke for all ages

[roofless.livejournal.com]

Q: Why did the bicycle fall over?
A: It was two tired.

Your weekly installment of science:

[ddstory.livejournal.com]

'Map of the universe' revealed (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/science-environment-12170904)

Astronomers have released the largest ever colour image of the whole sky, stitched together from seven million images each made of 125 million pixels.

Data from the Sloan Digital Sky Survey has already helped identify and describe nearly half a billion stars and galaxies.

The release of the image - so big it would require around 500,000 HD televisions to be displayed fully - will enable professional and amateur astronomers alike to study the sky from their own computers.

The Greenwich Royal Observatory's Marek Kukula explained the significance of the image and the "incredible" level of detail it contains.

He said: "Scientists have been studying this data for the last 10 years and they're still finding new stuff".


Sample video:

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[debergerac.livejournal.com]

q - how many bulgarian mods does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

a - who cares? let's drink vodka and eat cake.

[htpcl.livejournal.com]

Now that's the spirit!



Nazdrave!

[mahnmut.livejournal.com]

Franck Ribéry is a cool guy (although he's damn fugly!)

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[debergerac.livejournal.com]

a face only a mother could love?

[nairiporter.livejournal.com]

Share your nation's dearest folk tunes!

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[htpcl.livejournal.com]

Dunno about the most beloved tune here, there are many. But here's something really curious.

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A sport almost as exciting as Tree Hunting and Cross Country Ballroom

[fizzyland.livejournal.com]

[mahnmut.livejournal.com]

Someone is jealous for sucking big time in "soccer" ;-)

[mahnmut.livejournal.com]

Q. How many Americamachos does it take to sit in a circle before the wank begins?

A. One. They're self-sufficient.

[the-rukh.livejournal.com]

I finally saw "The Social Network" last night. It wasn't bad. Pretty good. I loved the soundtrack of course. Made me a little sad I didn't stick with Computer Science as my major, but I was kind of miserable with it.

[htpcl.livejournal.com]

I've been trying to download it for weeks. Usually every single movie that's made anywhere gets spread around our local torrents long before the official release, but not this one. That's weird.

[taurus-1.livejournal.com]

Thanks for revealing European nightmares -- Russians and Bulgarians. But for the sake of honesty, the most closest our brothers are Serbs, not Bulgarians. [Sigh] Nothing changes since old days...

[htpcl.livejournal.com]

Aaand, I wasn't trying to find the "closest" to you. At all.

[lordtwinkie.livejournal.com]

[farchivist.livejournal.com]

It is the year 2005. The treacherous Decepticons have conquered the Autobot's home planet of Cybertron. (http://www.lazersonic.com/video/)

[enders-shadow.livejournal.com]

You know the difference between heaven and hell?

In heaven:

You are greeted by the British
Food is prepared by the French
Order is maintainted by the Germans and
Entertainment is provided by the Italians

In hell:

You are greeted by the French
Food is prepared by the British
Order is maintained by the Italians and
Entertainment is provided by the Germans