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talkpoliticsRussian Patriarch Kirill’s visit to Bulgaria for Liberation Day hit by controversies
"Borissov, however, made Kirill a bit grumpy [by] mentioning that not only Russians had taken part in the decisive battles. Romanians and those from Finland were among those Borissov mentioned. This departure from the narrative made, as Kirill reportedly told reporters as he reached Sofia Airport, well, yes, a bit “grumpy”."
"Grumpy" is a bit of an understatement if you ask me. The Russian Orthodox Patriarch has launched an angry rant against the government officials of a sovereign country for having mentioned other nationalities beside Russian in their official statements of gratitude for the liberation of my country 140 years ago. Sure, the Russian army carried the bulk of that war, but there were others involved as well (dragged into the war because their countries were subordinate to the Russian Empire at the time) - and now the official Kremlin envoy (because that's exactly what the Patriarch is) has expressed his envy and dissatisfaction with the fact that Finns, Romanians, Ukrainians, Moldovans and others are being "put on equal footing" with Russians.
Russians have to be above and ahead of everybody else, is the conclusion. Otherwise nothing would work in these attempts for friendly bilateral relations, no matter how hard we try.
So here is my modest contribution to the art of diplomacy. I'm offering a 101 lesson for Bulgarian, or any other East European politicians to that matter, which they're definitely going to need whenever they're dealing with their Russian counterparts. I'm doing it because I'm so awesome and generous. What can I say, I really want to help our politicians!
Because, no matter how hard our statespeople tried to appease the honorable guest, he wasn't satisfied in the end. Right now they must be wondering where they had erred, what had gone wrong. They almost carried him on their shoulders, kissed his hand, his ass... etc. Hey, they made sure there were no Ukraininan flags during the Liberation commemorations. They even intimidated a couple of other-thinkers who had dared to speak in sharp terms against the guest around the social networks. But he still wasn't happy. How come?
Well let me tell you what went wrong, dear politicians. I have an extensive experience with Russians, I dare say, which I've gathered over the course of more than a decade of work with them. So I'll tell you what went wrong. I'll explain the Broad Russian Soul to you in a nutshell so you don't get confused any more in the future (and make no mistake, you'll be dealing with Russian politicians A LOT in the near future, I guarantee you that).
Actually, I'll spare you the lecture about the Russian people this time. We've talked about this before. Things are a bit... weird over there. I'm sure there are lots of enlightened, intelligent, erudite civilized and good people among the Russian intelligentsia (or whatever has remained of it anyway). Sure, they might be getting fewer with time, but they're still there. Now, the ruling caste is a different story. And those are the guys our politicians will have to be dealing with. So do bear with me.
The foundations of the Russian ruling elite and its behavior were laid down sometime in the 16th century at the time of Ivan the Terrible. It was Ivan who decidedly turned Russia's back to Europe and swiftly transformed it into an Asian beast. He exterminated the aristocracy, and those who survived he deprived of their land. Unlike the European aristocracy, the Russian one came to entirely depend on the whim of the Tzar from there on. If they complied, they'd get their titles, lands and recognition. If not, they'd perish. This was happening at a time when in Europe the monarchs were "first among equals", a division of powers between them and the aristocracy that eventually gave rise to modern representative democracy.
So at a time when Europe was quitting serfdom, Ivan was introducing it in his domain. Once he had deprived the aristocracy of its autonomy and dignity, he turned his attention to the peasantry and turned it into slaves. The whole power, and all property, was concentrated into the Tzar's hands. He was the one who'd decide who would have power and property. And he could take it back at any time. All people in Russia became completely dependent on the Tzar's will and his whims (save for the free peasants who fled slavery and called themselves Cossacks, but they were eventually subdued by Peter I too).
These changes removed all possibility for creating a meritocratic society based on the individual's own efforts, dignity, skills and qualities. The Russian societal hierarchy was entirely defined by the Tzar. This hierarchy was made official by Peter I in the 18th century in the so called Table of Ranks. Everyone who wasn't a serf was divided into 14 basic categories that permeated both military and civil ranks, as well as the royal court. For instance Rank VIII included a collegiate assessor (a civil position), a major (military position), lieutenant captain (navy position) and titular camarger (court position). They were all equal among them, but there were another 7 layers of bosses above them, whose will they had to follow; and another 6 layers of subordinates beneath them, who in turn had to carry out their will. Those who weren't in the table, the serfs, could be bought and sold like cattle, whipped and punished, tortured and abused, by anyone who had a rank.
All of these were of course totally dependent on the Tzar, a fact that twisted the whole structure of societal behavior and motivation. Instead of moving up along the ladder thanks to their own efforts, the Russian people adopted a culture where connections and favors with people of higher rank were crucial. Even if you didn't have direct access to the Tzar, as long as you dwelled within the table of ranks, you didn't depend on your own efforts, but on what the higher rank(s) wanted and liked. If you wanted to move from rank VII to VI, you should lick some rank VI ass pretty hard, be it a collegiate counselor, or colonel, or first captain, or titulary camarger.
In result, for the last 300 years the mores and habits thus cultivated in the Russian society diverged from those in Europe an awful lot - so much that the Russian society essentially became completely un-European. While Europe valued personal skills that favored a person's independent life and competent work, in Russia the main value was sycophancy, toadyism, cronyism, and quality kneeling and ass-licking. In turn, the higher ranks cultivated a particularly brutal attitude to all beneath them. The perfect denizen of this system was one who could lick the boot of the higher ranks in order to climb up, while brutally suppressing and humiliating the lower ranks in order to show them who's boss.
This has continued for the last 15-20 generations, including in communist times (only the form of government changed during that period). You could imagine that after so much systematic exercise, the upward ass-licking and downward boot-stomping has been brought to tremendous perfection in Russia by virtually everyone. You could probably also imagine how inept any other society would be in emulating these patterns, no matter how hard it tried, and how genuinely sincere it was in its intentions.
So here I'm getting back to our very own politicians. Doesn't their attempt to appease the high guest look a bit lame now? But I don't blame them for their amateurism - they couldn't have learned how to do some quality ass-licking properly overnight, it takes generations to master it. In the eyes of Kremlin's envoy, the Patriarch, they all must have looked like some kind of rugged peasants who were trying to exhibit the "right" behavior without ever coming any close to achieving that, for lack of the proper DNA. It's hardly a surprise, then, that the guy remained so bitter and dissatisfied with their performance in the end. Can't blame him for that, can we?
Now, even if our folks figured out a way to import some Russian expert to teach them of the art of proper sycophancy, they'd still fail; it's very likely that the next top Russian aide who visits would end up even angrier than this one. Which is a bit paradoxical, you know, since we Bulgarians have ourselves been under someone else's yoke for more centuries than we've actually been a sovereign country - one would expect us to have developed a slavish mentality and habits in the process, no? Well, not so fast. The thing is, while the ancestors of the Russian Patriarch were being bought and sold like cattle, those of our current politicians still had property of their own, and schools, and libraries, and their own business, and regular visits to Europe, etc - even during the times of the Ottoman Yoke! Can't blame them for having the "wrong" historical experience that prevents them from mastering the art of proper sycophancy.
But before they've rushed to attend various courses and seminaries about proper kneeling and ass-licking, our leaders would better recognize the way the Russian ruling caste conducts its foreign policy. Since there's no equality between people in Russia, the very notion of equality between countries is alien to Russia's leaders, too. Those countries who are big and strong, who want to be Russia's "partners" (i.e. equals), are being constantly defined as "enemies" by the Russian top clique. Why? Because in Russian culture, there can be no such thing as "equals". One side has to be the master and the other the serf, as has been in the Table of Ranks since Ivan the Terrible and Peter I. And whenever someone tries to act like an equal with Russia, that must mean they're an enemy.
Ivan the Terrible started this when he courted British queen Elizabeth the Great. He wanted to marry her but she wasn't excited with the proposal, so he eventually sent her an angry letter, calling her a hopeless old maid who wasn't even a master in her own country. And this has gone on ever since, up to the point where out of the blue, president Putin issues ominous threats to the world in general, waving his new missile toys into everybody's face just in case someone dared to imagine they could be equals with Russia.
As usual, the ones who suffer the most from Russia's attitude are not the large, strong countries but countries like mine: small and insignificant, located in the periphery, on the crosslines between the various spheres of influence, occupying key geographical positions. Russia has posed as our friend at times, citing ethnic, religious and cultural similarities, but the real reason for their interest has been that we were useful for them. Now we've switched camps and made a different civilizational choice, so we're the enemy. There's no middle ground. Just like with America, there can be no real "friends" of Russia. There can be no equality. It's not just that "You're either with us or against us" - it's that "You're either under us, or you're an enemy". Russia doesn't really want a friendship or partnership, it wants what it has always wanted: subordination. It wants their will being followed with no questions asked. They want their models and their ideology adopted, emulated and reproduced.
No matter how hard you swear in your friendship and good intentions, even if you sincerely want to be Russia's friend, this is never going to happen. What's worse, the more you insist with this partnership, the further demands you'll be receiving in return, which you'll be ordered to fulfill to the last iota, or else. As Stalin once said, "If he makes a step to the left, shoot him. If he makes a step to the right, shoot him".
This is what was behind the grumpy rant of the top Russian clergyman after all the ass-licking he had received from our statespeople. His message was perfectly clear: "I'll love you only as long as you do things exactly the way we do them in Russia: do some quality kneeling, speak exactly what we expect to hear, do what we want you to do. No step to the left, no step to the right".
Like I said, realistically, no matter how hard we try from here on, we'll never achieve the mastery of ass-licking to a quality that would be satisfactory enough for the Russian standards. It's not our fault - it's just that we haven't had the time and environment to learn it properly. We won't even receive a pat on the head, and neither a blinchik or a cup of kvass. So we better spare the effort, and direct it elsewhere. Preferably, toward learning how things are being done in the other direction: Europe. We should have as respectful, yet sovereign a behavior as possible.
"Borissov, however, made Kirill a bit grumpy [by] mentioning that not only Russians had taken part in the decisive battles. Romanians and those from Finland were among those Borissov mentioned. This departure from the narrative made, as Kirill reportedly told reporters as he reached Sofia Airport, well, yes, a bit “grumpy”."
"Grumpy" is a bit of an understatement if you ask me. The Russian Orthodox Patriarch has launched an angry rant against the government officials of a sovereign country for having mentioned other nationalities beside Russian in their official statements of gratitude for the liberation of my country 140 years ago. Sure, the Russian army carried the bulk of that war, but there were others involved as well (dragged into the war because their countries were subordinate to the Russian Empire at the time) - and now the official Kremlin envoy (because that's exactly what the Patriarch is) has expressed his envy and dissatisfaction with the fact that Finns, Romanians, Ukrainians, Moldovans and others are being "put on equal footing" with Russians.
Russians have to be above and ahead of everybody else, is the conclusion. Otherwise nothing would work in these attempts for friendly bilateral relations, no matter how hard we try.
So here is my modest contribution to the art of diplomacy. I'm offering a 101 lesson for Bulgarian, or any other East European politicians to that matter, which they're definitely going to need whenever they're dealing with their Russian counterparts. I'm doing it because I'm so awesome and generous. What can I say, I really want to help our politicians!
Because, no matter how hard our statespeople tried to appease the honorable guest, he wasn't satisfied in the end. Right now they must be wondering where they had erred, what had gone wrong. They almost carried him on their shoulders, kissed his hand, his ass... etc. Hey, they made sure there were no Ukraininan flags during the Liberation commemorations. They even intimidated a couple of other-thinkers who had dared to speak in sharp terms against the guest around the social networks. But he still wasn't happy. How come?
Well let me tell you what went wrong, dear politicians. I have an extensive experience with Russians, I dare say, which I've gathered over the course of more than a decade of work with them. So I'll tell you what went wrong. I'll explain the Broad Russian Soul to you in a nutshell so you don't get confused any more in the future (and make no mistake, you'll be dealing with Russian politicians A LOT in the near future, I guarantee you that).
Actually, I'll spare you the lecture about the Russian people this time. We've talked about this before. Things are a bit... weird over there. I'm sure there are lots of enlightened, intelligent, erudite civilized and good people among the Russian intelligentsia (or whatever has remained of it anyway). Sure, they might be getting fewer with time, but they're still there. Now, the ruling caste is a different story. And those are the guys our politicians will have to be dealing with. So do bear with me.
The foundations of the Russian ruling elite and its behavior were laid down sometime in the 16th century at the time of Ivan the Terrible. It was Ivan who decidedly turned Russia's back to Europe and swiftly transformed it into an Asian beast. He exterminated the aristocracy, and those who survived he deprived of their land. Unlike the European aristocracy, the Russian one came to entirely depend on the whim of the Tzar from there on. If they complied, they'd get their titles, lands and recognition. If not, they'd perish. This was happening at a time when in Europe the monarchs were "first among equals", a division of powers between them and the aristocracy that eventually gave rise to modern representative democracy.
So at a time when Europe was quitting serfdom, Ivan was introducing it in his domain. Once he had deprived the aristocracy of its autonomy and dignity, he turned his attention to the peasantry and turned it into slaves. The whole power, and all property, was concentrated into the Tzar's hands. He was the one who'd decide who would have power and property. And he could take it back at any time. All people in Russia became completely dependent on the Tzar's will and his whims (save for the free peasants who fled slavery and called themselves Cossacks, but they were eventually subdued by Peter I too).
These changes removed all possibility for creating a meritocratic society based on the individual's own efforts, dignity, skills and qualities. The Russian societal hierarchy was entirely defined by the Tzar. This hierarchy was made official by Peter I in the 18th century in the so called Table of Ranks. Everyone who wasn't a serf was divided into 14 basic categories that permeated both military and civil ranks, as well as the royal court. For instance Rank VIII included a collegiate assessor (a civil position), a major (military position), lieutenant captain (navy position) and titular camarger (court position). They were all equal among them, but there were another 7 layers of bosses above them, whose will they had to follow; and another 6 layers of subordinates beneath them, who in turn had to carry out their will. Those who weren't in the table, the serfs, could be bought and sold like cattle, whipped and punished, tortured and abused, by anyone who had a rank.
All of these were of course totally dependent on the Tzar, a fact that twisted the whole structure of societal behavior and motivation. Instead of moving up along the ladder thanks to their own efforts, the Russian people adopted a culture where connections and favors with people of higher rank were crucial. Even if you didn't have direct access to the Tzar, as long as you dwelled within the table of ranks, you didn't depend on your own efforts, but on what the higher rank(s) wanted and liked. If you wanted to move from rank VII to VI, you should lick some rank VI ass pretty hard, be it a collegiate counselor, or colonel, or first captain, or titulary camarger.
In result, for the last 300 years the mores and habits thus cultivated in the Russian society diverged from those in Europe an awful lot - so much that the Russian society essentially became completely un-European. While Europe valued personal skills that favored a person's independent life and competent work, in Russia the main value was sycophancy, toadyism, cronyism, and quality kneeling and ass-licking. In turn, the higher ranks cultivated a particularly brutal attitude to all beneath them. The perfect denizen of this system was one who could lick the boot of the higher ranks in order to climb up, while brutally suppressing and humiliating the lower ranks in order to show them who's boss.
This has continued for the last 15-20 generations, including in communist times (only the form of government changed during that period). You could imagine that after so much systematic exercise, the upward ass-licking and downward boot-stomping has been brought to tremendous perfection in Russia by virtually everyone. You could probably also imagine how inept any other society would be in emulating these patterns, no matter how hard it tried, and how genuinely sincere it was in its intentions.
So here I'm getting back to our very own politicians. Doesn't their attempt to appease the high guest look a bit lame now? But I don't blame them for their amateurism - they couldn't have learned how to do some quality ass-licking properly overnight, it takes generations to master it. In the eyes of Kremlin's envoy, the Patriarch, they all must have looked like some kind of rugged peasants who were trying to exhibit the "right" behavior without ever coming any close to achieving that, for lack of the proper DNA. It's hardly a surprise, then, that the guy remained so bitter and dissatisfied with their performance in the end. Can't blame him for that, can we?
Now, even if our folks figured out a way to import some Russian expert to teach them of the art of proper sycophancy, they'd still fail; it's very likely that the next top Russian aide who visits would end up even angrier than this one. Which is a bit paradoxical, you know, since we Bulgarians have ourselves been under someone else's yoke for more centuries than we've actually been a sovereign country - one would expect us to have developed a slavish mentality and habits in the process, no? Well, not so fast. The thing is, while the ancestors of the Russian Patriarch were being bought and sold like cattle, those of our current politicians still had property of their own, and schools, and libraries, and their own business, and regular visits to Europe, etc - even during the times of the Ottoman Yoke! Can't blame them for having the "wrong" historical experience that prevents them from mastering the art of proper sycophancy.
But before they've rushed to attend various courses and seminaries about proper kneeling and ass-licking, our leaders would better recognize the way the Russian ruling caste conducts its foreign policy. Since there's no equality between people in Russia, the very notion of equality between countries is alien to Russia's leaders, too. Those countries who are big and strong, who want to be Russia's "partners" (i.e. equals), are being constantly defined as "enemies" by the Russian top clique. Why? Because in Russian culture, there can be no such thing as "equals". One side has to be the master and the other the serf, as has been in the Table of Ranks since Ivan the Terrible and Peter I. And whenever someone tries to act like an equal with Russia, that must mean they're an enemy.
Ivan the Terrible started this when he courted British queen Elizabeth the Great. He wanted to marry her but she wasn't excited with the proposal, so he eventually sent her an angry letter, calling her a hopeless old maid who wasn't even a master in her own country. And this has gone on ever since, up to the point where out of the blue, president Putin issues ominous threats to the world in general, waving his new missile toys into everybody's face just in case someone dared to imagine they could be equals with Russia.
As usual, the ones who suffer the most from Russia's attitude are not the large, strong countries but countries like mine: small and insignificant, located in the periphery, on the crosslines between the various spheres of influence, occupying key geographical positions. Russia has posed as our friend at times, citing ethnic, religious and cultural similarities, but the real reason for their interest has been that we were useful for them. Now we've switched camps and made a different civilizational choice, so we're the enemy. There's no middle ground. Just like with America, there can be no real "friends" of Russia. There can be no equality. It's not just that "You're either with us or against us" - it's that "You're either under us, or you're an enemy". Russia doesn't really want a friendship or partnership, it wants what it has always wanted: subordination. It wants their will being followed with no questions asked. They want their models and their ideology adopted, emulated and reproduced.
No matter how hard you swear in your friendship and good intentions, even if you sincerely want to be Russia's friend, this is never going to happen. What's worse, the more you insist with this partnership, the further demands you'll be receiving in return, which you'll be ordered to fulfill to the last iota, or else. As Stalin once said, "If he makes a step to the left, shoot him. If he makes a step to the right, shoot him".
This is what was behind the grumpy rant of the top Russian clergyman after all the ass-licking he had received from our statespeople. His message was perfectly clear: "I'll love you only as long as you do things exactly the way we do them in Russia: do some quality kneeling, speak exactly what we expect to hear, do what we want you to do. No step to the left, no step to the right".
Like I said, realistically, no matter how hard we try from here on, we'll never achieve the mastery of ass-licking to a quality that would be satisfactory enough for the Russian standards. It's not our fault - it's just that we haven't had the time and environment to learn it properly. We won't even receive a pat on the head, and neither a blinchik or a cup of kvass. So we better spare the effort, and direct it elsewhere. Preferably, toward learning how things are being done in the other direction: Europe. We should have as respectful, yet sovereign a behavior as possible.
(no subject)
Date: 12/3/18 13:55 (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 12/3/18 18:31 (UTC)...So here's a starter pack of life without posh outer looks.