[identity profile] nairiporter.livejournal.com posting in [community profile] talkpolitics

Q: In which battle did Napoleon die?
A: In his last battle.

Q: Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?
A: At the bottom of the page.

Q: Which is the reason for the majority of divorces?
A: Marriage.

Q: Which is the reason for the majority of failures?
A: Exams.

Q: Which thing we can never eat at breakfast?
A: Lunch and dinner.

Q: What does half an apple look like?
A: Like the other half.

Q: What would happen if we throw a red stone into a blue sea?
A: The stone would get wet.

Q: How can one spend 8 days without sleep?
A: They will sleep at night.

Q: How could we lift an elephant with one hand?
A: Elephants don't have hands, let alone just one hand.

Q: If we have three apples and four oranges in one hand, and three oranges and four apples in the other hand, what result do we have?
A: Very large hands.

Q: If it took 8 men 10 hours to build a wall, how much time would it take 4 men to build it?
A: Zero. The wall has already been built.

Q: How could we drop a raw egg on the floor without breaking it?
A: In a number of ways: floor are pretty hard to break.

Q: What does the term "oblivion" mean?
A: I forgot.

Q: What is the first thing Queen Elizabeth II did after ascending to the throne?
A: She sat down on it.

Q: Why do some scientists believe that living near a cellphone tower could harm your health?
A: You could stumble into the tower if you don't watch your steps.

Q: How can we turn centimeters into meters?
A: By removing the centi.

Q: There are 300 pupils in 10th grade at our school. Mary and Mark want to determine which is their favourite colour. Mary asks 30 pupils, and Mark will ask 150. Mark says his conclusions could be trusted more than Mary's. Why does he think he is right?
A: Because Mark is a man.

Q: The first cells were probably...?
A: Lonely.

Q: When I am 100 years old I will...
A: Be dead.

Q: Describe yourself in three words.
A: I Am A Rebel.

Q: What is the highest frequency noise that a human can register?
A: Mariah Carey.

(no subject)

Date: 12/2/16 19:30 (UTC)
garote: (machine)
From: [personal profile] garote
THAT REBEL USED FOUR WORDS! Ride them out of school on a rail!!!!

(no subject)

Date: 12/2/16 20:32 (UTC)
From: [identity profile] luvdovz.livejournal.com
Mom, thanks for choosing the best brother for me!, my daughter once said.

It was fun being famous on my birthday!, my son said.

Me: Good morning, Petra. Do you need a hug?
Petra: No. I need pancakes.

Mom, when I grow up to be too heavy for you to carry me, I will carry you.

Etc.

They're just precious.

(no subject)

Date: 12/2/16 20:34 (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dreamville-bg.livejournal.com
A skillful rendering of the birth process, no doubt.

(no subject)

Date: 13/2/16 01:38 (UTC)
From: [identity profile] policraticus.livejournal.com
Napoleon died in battle?

Who knew?

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