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talkpolitics“I’ve held off on writing about soccer for a decade—or about the length of the average soccer game—so as not to offend anyone. But enough is enough. Any growing interest in soccer can only be a sign of the nation’s moral decay.”
—Ann Coulter, June 25th
After Ann Coulter's latest trademark pseudo-patriotic rant about that evil game soccer and the moral decay of the US society, I've come across this nugget here, and it literally made me roll on the floor. Funniest thing is, you could totally imagine her saying all that stuff! :-D
THINGS ANN COULTER SAID WHILE WATCHING THE U.S.-GERMANY GAME
Ha, they come out holding kids’ hands for the introductions. There is no place for children in sports. Gross, some of them are girls. Boys and girls shouldn’t be on the field at the same time. I bet most of them are orphans, too. Lousy orphans.
Wait, both of the coaches are German? I can’t believe my research assistant didn’t tell me that! This sucks even more than I imagined.
Look at the white guy with dreadlocks! He must live in Colorado, that turncoat state full of immigrants from Mexico and Amsterdam. Soccer is the only sport in the world in which a player can play while having dreadlocks. Thank God for football and basketball.
O.K., see, like I guessed: they are playing both national anthems before the game. In real sports like basketball and hockey, they only play “The Star-Spangled Banner.”
The announcer is British? If he starts using the metric system, I’m done. Foreigners shouldn’t be allowed on American television.
Borrrrrring. I’ll say this, though: at least the players are thin.
Remember when we beat the Germans at those wars? War is the best.
Half time, finally. It’s been at least five years since the game started.
Look at all these dummies in Kansas City and Chicago watching the game together. How do you say “Get a job” in Spanish?
O.K., they are back. What are these substitutions? In legitimate American sports, everyone plays the entire game, and then they all die of wounds and exhaustion afterward. These quitters are why we’re a second-rate power.
Still tied. I am so glad I wrote all that stuff about how dumb ties are. This is working out perfectly.
Oh, gee, the Germans accidentally knocked the ball into the goal. I don’t know how to feel: somewhere Angela Merkel is happy, but somewhere else Hillary Clinton is sad. Tough call.
Like I said, no one gets hurt playing soccer. Oh, fine, that serious-looking guy just broke his nose again. And those other two guys just concussed each other. Hope their moms have the minivans fired up to take them to the hospital. They’ll probably get better health care in the favelas than we do here in the land of death panels.
I wonder what Beyonce and Lena Dunham are doing right now. Probably watching this game. Losers.
Just a few more minutes and then the U.S. will lose and we won’t have to think about the World Cup again until a Republican is President.
What is this extra time? In Reagan’s America, forty-five minutes meant forty-five minutes. It’s like giving kids with learning disabilities extra time on their tests. I wish I’d known about this for my column—it would have been perfect.
O.K., it’s over. Oh, look, I’m trending on Twitter.
Ugh, they LOST and Americans are cheering? Thanks, Obama.
Hmm, odd that no one got ribbons or juice boxes at the end of the game. Maybe I should issue a correction? Nah.
Ps. Good job, team USA! Good luck against the waffle guys on Tuesday! :-)
After Ann Coulter's latest trademark pseudo-patriotic rant about that evil game soccer and the moral decay of the US society, I've come across this nugget here, and it literally made me roll on the floor. Funniest thing is, you could totally imagine her saying all that stuff! :-D
THINGS ANN COULTER SAID WHILE WATCHING THE U.S.-GERMANY GAME
Ha, they come out holding kids’ hands for the introductions. There is no place for children in sports. Gross, some of them are girls. Boys and girls shouldn’t be on the field at the same time. I bet most of them are orphans, too. Lousy orphans.
Wait, both of the coaches are German? I can’t believe my research assistant didn’t tell me that! This sucks even more than I imagined.
Look at the white guy with dreadlocks! He must live in Colorado, that turncoat state full of immigrants from Mexico and Amsterdam. Soccer is the only sport in the world in which a player can play while having dreadlocks. Thank God for football and basketball.
O.K., see, like I guessed: they are playing both national anthems before the game. In real sports like basketball and hockey, they only play “The Star-Spangled Banner.”
The announcer is British? If he starts using the metric system, I’m done. Foreigners shouldn’t be allowed on American television.
Borrrrrring. I’ll say this, though: at least the players are thin.
Remember when we beat the Germans at those wars? War is the best.
Half time, finally. It’s been at least five years since the game started.
Look at all these dummies in Kansas City and Chicago watching the game together. How do you say “Get a job” in Spanish?
O.K., they are back. What are these substitutions? In legitimate American sports, everyone plays the entire game, and then they all die of wounds and exhaustion afterward. These quitters are why we’re a second-rate power.
Still tied. I am so glad I wrote all that stuff about how dumb ties are. This is working out perfectly.
Oh, gee, the Germans accidentally knocked the ball into the goal. I don’t know how to feel: somewhere Angela Merkel is happy, but somewhere else Hillary Clinton is sad. Tough call.
Like I said, no one gets hurt playing soccer. Oh, fine, that serious-looking guy just broke his nose again. And those other two guys just concussed each other. Hope their moms have the minivans fired up to take them to the hospital. They’ll probably get better health care in the favelas than we do here in the land of death panels.
I wonder what Beyonce and Lena Dunham are doing right now. Probably watching this game. Losers.
Just a few more minutes and then the U.S. will lose and we won’t have to think about the World Cup again until a Republican is President.
What is this extra time? In Reagan’s America, forty-five minutes meant forty-five minutes. It’s like giving kids with learning disabilities extra time on their tests. I wish I’d known about this for my column—it would have been perfect.
O.K., it’s over. Oh, look, I’m trending on Twitter.
Ugh, they LOST and Americans are cheering? Thanks, Obama.
Hmm, odd that no one got ribbons or juice boxes at the end of the game. Maybe I should issue a correction? Nah.
<--- Team USA fans are not impressed with Ann's shenanigans
Ps. Good job, team USA! Good luck against the waffle guys on Tuesday! :-)
(no subject)
Date: 27/6/14 18:22 (UTC)(no subject)
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Date: 27/6/14 21:05 (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 28/6/14 01:19 (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 28/6/14 02:24 (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 28/6/14 06:12 (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 27/6/14 18:50 (UTC)Sure (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bp76i6wfHgQ). Sure (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9G1qaUqIuMw) they do (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jKt4IBxD5oo).
(no subject)
Date: 27/6/14 18:51 (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 27/6/14 19:01 (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 28/6/14 01:22 (UTC)FALSE I SAY!
(no subject)
Date: 28/6/14 06:01 (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 28/6/14 09:33 (UTC)Naw, moving on into the next round of a sports tournament by losing one game less than your opponent is un-un-American.
(no subject)
Date: 28/6/14 12:23 (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 28/6/14 13:02 (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 27/6/14 22:29 (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 27/6/14 22:38 (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 28/6/14 07:25 (UTC)Despite Rugby being a rougher sport, it has a reputation for having better behaved players.
There's a lot of jokes made by people in the UK about American football and the needs for American football players to wear so much protection to play a game, although I get the impression it is more needed in American football (although Rugby requires more stamina and general athleticism because you're not taking constant breaks all the time).
(no subject)
Date: 28/6/14 09:13 (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 28/6/14 09:39 (UTC)American tackle football is much more brutal, the tackles more severe, hence the need for all that protection.
Having played both "soccer" and rugby, I can say that the former could learn a lot from the latter, especially in terms of code of conduct, attitude to the match officials, and probably most importantly, the employment of available modern technology for the sake of cleansing the game of all the dirty tricks, cheating tactics and potential for corruption.
(no subject)
Date: 28/6/14 10:08 (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 28/6/14 15:10 (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 28/6/14 16:01 (UTC)If dudette is the female form of dude, what's the female form of pal? Palette? :D
(no subject)
Date: 28/6/14 16:15 (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 1/7/14 03:15 (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 27/6/14 18:25 (UTC)Belgium has been unimpressive so far, the expectations were about a much more dynamic and exciting team (given all that great young talent), but I guess it's a matter of the coach's tactical philosophy. He seems to prefer to win comfortably rather than deliver showtime. That'll be a tough game. Let's say 55% chances for Belgium and 45% for USA.
(no subject)
Date: 27/6/14 18:40 (UTC)THAT TURNCLOAK COMMIE! I BET HE'S SECRETLY ROOTING FOR KENYA!
(no subject)
Date: 27/6/14 18:47 (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 28/6/14 01:48 (UTC)The announcer is British? If he starts using the metric system, I’m done. Foreigners shouldn’t be allowed on American television.
Borrrrrring. I’ll say this, though: at least the players are thin.
Remember when we beat the Germans at those wars? War is the best.
So this Ann Coulter.......Which one is she? Beavis or Butthead?
(no subject)
Date: 28/6/14 12:11 (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 28/6/14 02:27 (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 28/6/14 07:29 (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 28/6/14 09:40 (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 28/6/14 09:45 (UTC)It even beats RVP's header against Spain.
(no subject)
Date: 28/6/14 12:04 (UTC)=)
(no subject)
Date: 28/6/14 12:57 (UTC)If more "Americans" are watching soccer today, it's only because of the demographic switch effected by Teddy Kennedy's 1965 immigration law. I promise you: No American whose great-grandfather was born here is watching soccer. One can only hope that, in addition to learning English, these new Americans will drop their soccer fetish with time.
You mean: speaking and writing the language of a country far away from you badly, and playing a sport quite well and rather better than one that same country introduced to the world, are somehow separate identifiers of patriotism...Er.
(no subject)
Date: 28/6/14 15:49 (UTC)While I can't guarantee the degree of cause and effect, in 1965 there was a grand total of zero high school soccer(futbol) teams in So Cal. I was unaware of any youth soccer leagues...which is a pity because I would have begged to play since the sport fit my size and natural abilities, fortunately I grew 4 inches between my sr year of high scholl and freshman year of college and was able to play basketball :D. but I digress.
I don't know for sure when soccer was added as a sport (in the schools) but I became aware of it in the late 70s. By then the demographics of the Los Angeles city schools had gone from maybe 15% to over 40% Hispanic.
At any rate, she really is correct that the main demographic of U.S. soccer fans are from more recent immigrant families...and people whose mom's thought soccer was safer than (American)football...lie mine :)
Personally, I enjoy Ann Coulter and think she is the best political satirist since Art Buchwald, with the added bonus I agree with her more than I did Buchwald :D
(no subject)
Date: 28/6/14 16:10 (UTC)Which part, more specifically? The "Any growing interest in soccer can only be a sign of the nation’s moral decay" part? Just so we're clear, do you agree with that part?
(no subject)
Date: 28/6/14 17:04 (UTC)I have always been highly competitive and I really hate to lose, but somewhere in my late 20s I came to the conclusion that if winning at any cost was more important than the game itself it was, in a sense, wrong. If I personally compromise my basic principles of life to win, then yes, it is a personal moral decay, If enough people in a nation feel that way then yes, it could be a sign of a nations moral decay. On the other hand, it could just be hyperbole, in the vein of, oh say, Jon Stewart, and those who disagree don't take it as such; kind of like those of us who do not like Stewart don't find HIM that amusing.
(no subject)
Date: 28/6/14 17:51 (UTC)Also, singling out a particular sport for promoting "moral decay", while turning a blind eye to other sports (like basketball) which also abound of the same cheating tactics, is bias, plain and simple. And in the context of equating soccer to "foreignness", it's more than just bias - it's bigotry.
(no subject)
Date: 29/6/14 10:51 (UTC)And although one could equally validly argue that women's equality, minority rights, or even lower tax rates are also correlated to the "decline in moral standards", I don't hear any football supporters suggest that the US's decline was necessarily due to any of these things: but thanks for the tip, anyway.