LULz. The Endless Story.

[mahnmut.livejournal.com]

Here's an idea. There've been such sort of "fantasy story" threads on some forums where the first guy says "Once upon a time...", then the next one adds 3-4 words, then the next one and so on and so forth. In time, a completely incoherent and often hilarious never-ending story is compiled this way, every next commenter adding a few words to it and eventually it starting to look like the ramblings of a drunken maniac. :-)

So I thought... could we make a political story here? So here's how I imagine it:


- First guy starts the story with a 1-line statement. It could start with the usual "Once upon a time..." and it could be about any political person or event.
- Second guy adds the next 1-line addendum to the story.
- Etc, etc, etc. It's about politics (mostly) and it could take the narrative into all sorts of UNpossible directions. Fiction works that way, no?

So? Who's in? Let me just begin with the classic line, and may the next commenter add the next 1 line. But let's make it like a string of follow-up comments rather than many separate sub-threads! It means every next guy should comment below the previous one and not open a separate thread, because that'd be confusing. This way we would make it more coherent (like that's ever possible!?)
So...

Once upon a time, there was a...

Comments

[luvdovz.livejournal.com]

Allright I'll play.

Once upon a time, there was a bunch of extremist kittens under the name Felines For Global Jihad. Their primary objective was...

[kardashev.livejournal.com]

...To get the imperialist nations to let loose their grip on the yarn and catnip industrial monopolies. Their plan to achieve this involved...

[mahnmut.livejournal.com]

...bringing peace and justice to all unsuspecting little mice living in caves and under rocks somewhere in the Mideast countryside.

[malasadas.livejournal.com]

...Rocks fall. Everyone dies.

[htpcl.livejournal.com]

This fact of course does not seem to please Justin Bieber, who has other plans for the world, namely:

[luvdovz.livejournal.com]

Mighty boners for all!

[mahnmut.livejournal.com]

The kittens were rather delighted with his aspirations, as it suited their schedule pretty neatly. It included...

[telemann.livejournal.com]

1. play time ....

[htpcl.livejournal.com]

2. Devouring industrial quantities of anchovy;

[telemann.livejournal.com]

3. Followed by larger quantities of breath mints (pee-you!) lol

[a-new-machine.livejournal.com]

4. Catnip-covered anchovy playtoys, because cats are not terribly broad in their interests, but having just 3 sounded trite.

[luzribeiro.livejournal.com]

And of course a few cat-fart bombs wrapped around their fluffy waists. Where without a little kaboom?

[luvdovz.livejournal.com]

This wasn't to the liking of the Big Bad Wolf at all, and he plotted to overthrow the kitten NWO in a very ingenious way:

[telemann.livejournal.com]

5. looking through the latest "Hello Kitty" mail order catalog.

[mahnmut.livejournal.com]

3. Followed by larger quantities of breath mints (pee-you!) lol
4. Catnip-covered anchovy playtoys, because cats are not terribly broad in their interests, but having just 3 sounded trite.
5. looking through the latest "Hello Kitty" mail order catalog.
And of course a few cat-fart bombs wrapped around their fluffy waists. Where without a little kaboom?
This wasn't to the liking of the Big Bad Wolf at all, and he plotted to overthrow the kitten NWO in a very ingenious way:

Candy firecrackers and a cup of Turkish coffee!

[mahnmut.livejournal.com]

[Hey, too many words!]
------
...which are as follows:

Not only mighty boners, but as a bonus a ton of awkwardly horrible things he calls "songs".

[htpcl.livejournal.com]

The sound of which is able to knock down entire fleets of predator drones,

[luvdovz.livejournal.com]

...cause mass miscarriage in one hundred killer whales,

[luvdovz.livejournal.com]

Too long, buddy!

[htpcl.livejournal.com]

On learning about this dangerous plan, good old Lord Vetinari the paragon of Realpolitik smirked and said,

[telemann.livejournal.com]

"It's time to see what is on TV!"

[luzribeiro.livejournal.com]

And to his surprise, he saw a very famous presidential candidate in an intimate position with his chauffeur at the back-seat of his campaign bus.

[telemann.livejournal.com]

And he let out a little kitty gasp!

*mew-Gasp*

And quickly changed the channel to.....

[mahnmut.livejournal.com]

...to Hooks & Knits. But that didn't help much, because what he saw there was equally damning:

[telemann.livejournal.com]

He decided, "Screw TV! Time to go outside and see what's going on." And lo, he found....

[abomvubuso.livejournal.com]

...thirty thousand occupiers occupying the stands at the Superbowl, munching chips & popcorn and waiting for the cheerleaders show and the subsequent 1-hour commercial break.

[luzribeiro.livejournal.com]

But instead of boobies and butts, what they had to endure was a 50 minute speech by a Moon alien with a particularly large head who was running for President Of The Ultragalactic Sherriffate (POTUS).

[luvdovz.livejournal.com]

This effectively turned the last remaining brain cells in their skulls into one vast homogeneous mass of jelly.

[mahnmut.livejournal.com]

With his last breath, one screamed, "Who the fuck turned me into a newt?!??!11"

[abomvubuso.livejournal.com]

And fired a ballistic rocket at Hollywood.

[kardashev.livejournal.com]

Who barely noticed because they're in the same city as Compton and Watts. Areas where the Crips and Bloods have far better ordnance than even the S.W.A.T. Team.

[malasadas.livejournal.com]

ROCKS FALL EVERYBODY DIES

[il-mio-gufo.livejournal.com]

i'm not trying to play @ this hour...but i will comment this is a very nice exercise {: