talkpolitics | Member Posts

And finally our work in

mashfanficchick's mother's house is completed!

I got up at 11:00, had coffee, showered and dressed.

mashfanficchick's friend Liz G came at 12:00 and we met her at the house, and took two trips to the storage unit, bringing the last boxes over.

Then we had lunch at a Chinese restaurant, which was delicious.

Finally, Liz G drove a few things from the house to

mashfanficchick's apartment, and the very last thing of all,

mashfanficchick and I walked a folding table that wouldn't fit in the car from the house to the apartment. And that was that.

I stayed awhile longer, to hang and relax, and then I Ubered home.

I got home a little after 6:00 and fed the pets, and puttered on the computer til 7:00 when I Skyped the FWiB.

We talked til 8:00 when I had my Al-anon meeting. That was very small but good. M wasn't there. I hope she's OK.

Then I had a little to eat, and texted with the Kid about funeral arrangements. A depressing subject but now that Oldest Brother has entered hospice, pretty necessary. It looks as though we'll do a direct cremation with a service at the crematorium, followed by a two hour memorial at the funeral home. I hope that cousin Cliff will be able to do the service.

Went to the bedroom and played solitaire, then came out and fed the pets again. Time for bed pretty soon.

Gratitude List:

1. The FWiB.

2. The house is done.

3. Good lunch.

4. The Kid.

5. Cousin Cliff.

6. My copy of One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish came.

Mood: melancholy

neonvincent

I wanted to be spooky, so I posted Storied asks 'Why Does A Ghost Whale Terrorize The Japanese Coast?' An Earth Month ghost story, then I wanted to laugh, so I posted 'The Daily Show' Celebrates Earth Day by Tackling Climate Change.

Watch on YouTube

Mood: hungry
Location: House in the woods at the edge of town
Music: AstroCanuck Twitch stream

megastalin

Not yet had the opportunity due to easer break to get in touch with my psychiatirst, so I'm staying with someone to not be alone.
What will happen next? I have no idea, I'm still working at my remote job, but that will become impossible once I am committed, if I am.
Still I am feeling better than before. Somehow there's still hope maybe.

Mood: chipper
Location: Undisclosed
Music: Patrick Wolf - Hymn of the Haar

silver_chipmunk

Got up latish, got phone calls from the hospice people, Oldest Brother officially started hospice today and I had some decisions to make. I hope I chose well.

Showered and dressed, and we went out to run errands. Started by lunch at an Indian restaurant, got the lamb curry lunch special and a mango lassi.

Then we went to Trader Joes and did major shopping. Then we took the bus to Stop and Shop and did more major shopping.

mashfanficchick asked me to stay another night so we can start early tomorrow, and get the Very Last Boxes out of the house and to the storage unit with the driving help of zer friend Liz G. And I agreed, so I'm staying tonight.

Got back to zer place from Stop and Shop, stopping at Starbucks on the way, and heard from RK that he was available to help tonight getting stuff from the house that isn't going into the storage unit. We took his car over, and got the stuff back here. One big box broke open on it's way in, but RK picked it up.

Then we went out to California Pizza Kitchen and got take out. I got the Wild Mushroom pizza. WE went to RK's place, and after we ate we played a game of Dominion. RK won, I lost rather badly, but I am beginning to understand how the game works.

Then he drove us back here, and soon it will be bed time.

Gratitude List:

1. The FWiB, even though we didn't get to Skype.

2. Oldest Brother in hospice care.

3. Dried apple slices.

4. The Kid has a job interview.

5. RK.

6. Friends.

Mood: chipper

gustavo

11 dias desde o fim do relacionamento, e o texto que escrevi anteriormente ficou apenas no rascunho — até eu lembrar de postar hoje.

Nesse fim de semana, fui a um show em Perpignan, na França, de um artista que, em teoria, eu jamais teria conhecido se não fosse pelo Théo. E, claro, eu precisei ir. Não só pelo show, mas pra aliviar o peso de ficar procurando um culpado. Porque, como eu já disse a mim mesmo, não faz sentido culpar os franceses, os geminianos, os twinks, ou o mundo inteiro pelo meu medo de ser vulnerável e não conseguir fazer uma relação dar certo.

Dia após dia, as coisas vão se organizando dentro de mim. Ainda sinto tristeza, ainda há um buraco na cabeça, mas estou conseguindo enxergar melhor. Tenho refletido muito sobre a minha relação com a vulnerabilidade, e sobre o quanto me sinto péssimo por demonstrar tristeza — ou até mesmo por senti-la. Eu tenho medo da tristeza. Porque ela me isola. E muitas vezes, eu senti que precisava me isolar pra que ninguém visse a dor que eu carregava.

Essa dor, lá atrás, era o peso de viver dentro do armário. E acho que acabei levando esse medo pra todas as outras áreas da minha vida. O medo do abandono, do julgamento… e então eu tento mascarar tudo isso. Só que eu não quero mais cair na mesma tristeza de antes.

O desafio agora é encontrar um equilíbrio: entender onde posso ser vulnerável e triste sem sentir vergonha disso, sem medo de parecer fraco.

De toda forma, esse processo todo — essa análise constante, essa forma como estou lidando com o fim desse relacionamento — tem me mostrado o quanto eu evoluí. Quando me comparo ao Gustavo de, sei lá, seis anos atrás, vejo crescimento. E isso é ótimo.

Não que seja perfeito. Eu ainda busco validação em homens aleatórios nos aplicativos de relacionamento. Mandei mensagem pro Théo durante o show, tentando forçar uma amizade. Em troca, recebi aquela mesma resposta morna, um dia depois — o que só confirmou que ele continua o mesmo. Aliás, encontrei com ele hoje na academia. Conversamos um pouco. E talvez seja efeito do Citalopram, mas pela primeira vez eu consegui olhar pra ele e entender, no rosto dele, o motivo pelo qual a gente não se encaixava.

Mas, claro, agora que estou sozinho em casa, o fantasma do vazio volta a cutucar. Acho que faz parte do processo.

Ainda assim, dia após dia, isso vai saindo de mim. Os questionamentos da minha mente — que quer controlar tudo — não vão cessar tão cedo. E talvez esteja na hora de eu parar de comprar distrações tecnológicas e finalmente investir em terapia. Parar de me esconder das situações que vêm caminhando ao meu lado.

A hora é de aprender a estar vulnerável, de verdade. E de buscar menos validação externa.

Porque eu não preciso me sentir só só porque estou sozinho.

Mood: melancholy

gustavo

Quatro dias desde o fim do relacionamento. E hoje, ironicamente, estaríamos completando quatro meses juntos. O que isso significa? Essencialmente, nada. Eu não estava plenamente feliz. Não era o que eu quero pra mim.

Então por que estou triste? Porque, em alguns momentos, penso que talvez não devesse ter acabado. Porque não consigo simplesmente deixar ir. Preciso aprender a viver o luto das coisas.

Quanto mais reflito, mais percebo que foi uma decisão certa e necessária. Eu não posso aceitar menos do que mereço. Pessoas incríveis precisam estar com quem as preencha por inteiro. E é isso que eu mereço.

Eu nem sentia ciúmes do Théo, mas agora fico com a cabeça cheia, imaginando se ele já conheceu outra pessoa, se está em uma situação melhor… enquanto eu mal consigo engatar uma conversa no Tinder. Por que eu não aprendo a ficar sozinho por um minuto? Qual é a minha dificuldade em não precisar de um cara pra me validar?

Vem a frustração, o ego ferido… Mas por que eu deveria odiar alguém que simplesmente não conseguiu suprir minhas expectativas? Por que culpar uma nacionalidade, um signo, uma desculpa qualquer pra me sentir menos frustrado com expectativas que eu mesmo criei? As pessoas não foram feitas pra atender nossas projeções — e seria extremamente egocêntrico da minha parte culpar o Théo por não fazer o que eu queria.

Sim, ontem eu mandei uma mensagem pra ele, dizendo que ele pode contar comigo como amigo. Eu não o odeio. Não tenho raiva. Me decepcionei com o jeito dele, e foi isso que levou ao nosso término. E tudo bem. Ou talvez ainda não esteja, mas eu sei que vai ficar.

Agora, eu preciso organizar meu quarto, a minha bagunça... e aliviar um pouco da confusão que anda dentro da minha cabeça.

Mood: anxious

neonvincent

I'm sharing another person's comment on Why Does A Ghost Whale Terrorize The Japanese Coast?

Sometimes creating a legend is the best way to get people to show respect. In the 1970s Volcano National Park in Hawaii had a problem with people taking volcanic rocks home as souvenirs. It was at this point a park ranger created the legend that anybody who takes a rock from the island would be cursed by the god Pele. Every year, the park still gets rocks mailed back.

I tell this story every semester in geology, although I read on Snopes that it was a tour bus driver who came up with it. Just the same, I first heard this story when I was a Park Ranger, and I know the rangers tell it, even if they didn't originate it.

Mood: devious
Location: House in the woods at the edge of town
Music: Tinderly Twitch stream

dewline

May Pope Francis rest in peace.

Mood: hopeful

silver_chipmunk

And the last day of Passover too.

Slept late and got up around 12:00. Had breakfast and coffee, showered, washed my hair, dressed, and left to see Oldest Brother.

Stayed for about an hour. He was pretty good, about the same.

Then I came over to

mashfanficchick's place. We did some chores, then ordered dinner and watched Will Trent. Dinner was pernil and beans and rice.

We watched Will Trent for several hours, at 8:30 I called Middle Brother. He was out at Belmont Lake State Park yestrday and had a good time.

We went back to watching Will Trent, and have now finally caught up to the current episodes. We'll watch Tuesday's episode Thursday.

I Skyped the FWiB from my phone after Will Trent.

I'm spending the night here again.

I texted John and The Kid, no answers from either yet. Laurie texted me to wish me Happy Easter.

Gratitude List:

1. The FWiB.

2. Good TV.

3. Middle Brother well.

4. Oldest Brother holding his own.

5. Good dinner.

6. Family.

Mood: cheerful

tcpip

How have you spent the Easter break? I've spent it at the Conquest gaming convention, where four hundred nerds took over every room of the Coburg City Hall for a convention that's been running since the 1980s. Not that I did any gaming myself, as I safely esconced at the RPG Review Cooperative table with various games that members have put up for sale, which includes a majority of which is fundraising for the Isla Bell Charitable Fund. This particular run, "Gamers for Isla" is now coming to a close after an eight-week fundraising campaign which raised approximately $15000, with a bit in various pledges to come in. I must thank Andrew, Charmaine, Penny, Liz, Karl, Michael, Edward, Rade, and Tim for helping transport goods, staffing the stall, and generally providing awesome company over the three days.

A real highlight of the convention was the visits from Isla Bell's family to our group. This included her uncle, Kieran, who provided an opening speech at Conquest about who Isla was, what happened to her, and the importance of the Fund. Also present on that day was his partner who has a mutual interest in immersive technologies as a teaching tool. The following day, there was a visit from Isla's mother, Justine, and her partner, and then on the third day, a visit from her uncle, Christopher. Justine made a rather delightful Facebook reel about our fundraising efforts, and Christopher and I had a long conversation about an old mutual friend (sadly departed), Simon Millar. Michael O'Brien of the gaming company, Chaosium, donated the special-edition folio set of their most famous roleplaying game, "Call of Cthulhu", to further raise money for the Fund.

In this context, it is necessary to make a few comments about Easter. The Biblical literalism, bound too strongly and ludicrously by religious fundamentalists, is too easy to mock. The notion of "zombie Jesus" brings laughter, and even deeper, the argument that "Jesus the Lich" is even more accurate (gamers understand that one). My irreverent side derives pleasure from this as well. But what is overlooked by both the fundamentalists and the new atheists and their ilk is a metaphorical reading; that for any person of great spirit, not even the end of their life is the end of their story. Certainly, it is a critical juncture in their wider narrative, not just the closing of a chapter, but the ending of a book. But the narrative and themes of the character can continue. And this is what groups like the Isla Bell Fund charity represent: a tribute that continues a story that deserves and needs to be told. So, for all of you (myself included), go and produce great art, seek and advocate for justice and liberty, and unearth the facts of our shared existence.

Mood: relaxed
Location: The Rookery
Music: Enigma,MCMXC AD

dewline

So...I signed up for another service today.

https://hey.cafe/@dewline

Hey.Cafe is Canadian-owned and operated, and if I lose access to US-based services because of national/international security, there'll still be this, right?

Mood: busy

neonvincent

Watch on YouTube

Mood: hungry
Location: House in the woods at the edge of town
Music: Final Fantasy XIV

abomvubuso

Watch on YouTube

Mood: refreshed
Location: cape town
Music: Dark Tranquillity - Atoma

silver_chipmunk

Got up and went to my Al-anon meeting by bus after having breakfast and coffee, and showering. The meeting was smaller than usual but good. I chaired again.

Got a ride to the diner and had a bagel with cream cheese and lox, and iced coffee. Got a ride home from L, very nice.

Got here in time to see the last two seconds of the credits of the Starsky and Hutch episode. Oh well. Had fun at the chat, though. I put in a Shipt order while we were chatting,

We chatted til about 5:30. Then I killed time puttering on the computer, until 7:00 when I Skyped the FWiB. We talked til 8:30.

mashfanficchick texted right when we got off and we discussed tomorrow. I'm going to go see Oldest Brother, then decide if I'm going over to zer or not.

After that I got something for dinner, and went into the bedroom to play solitaire.

Did that til pet feeding time, then I fed the pets and here I am.

Gratitude List:

1. The FWiB.

2. My meetings and the people there.

3. Beautiful weather.

4. The Starsky and Hutch fandom.

5. Relaxing day.

6. Shipt.

Mood: okay

neonvincent

Watch on YouTube

Mood: awake
Location: House in the woods at the edge of town
Music: MelissaInDeNile Twitch stream

silver_chipmunk

Got phone calls this morning from the hospice guy. The long and short is that the hospice will not cover the PEG feeding but the nirsing home itself will continue to do so. So they need some additional paperwork which is pretty much just a confirmation from the nursing home, the hospice care will start Monday or Tuesday.

I also spoke to Robyn about the funeral planning. This will be expensive but I should be able to afford it. I'm figuring a direct cremation, and a memorial in the funeral home some time following.

At about 4:45 Sue and Danny arrived. They picked me and

mashfanficchick up and we went to the nursing home. We visited for about an hour and a half I think.

Then we went to Astoria and met up with the Kid and her boyfriend at a restaurant called Queens Room. We had dinner, and I had a glass of wine. It was lovely, we had a very good time.

After dinner we all went to Martha's Country Kitchen for dessert. There was too long a wait for a table, so we got our pastries to go and went to Ditmar Park to look at the Manhattan skyline. We ate our dessert on a bench. Then we said good bye to the Kid and her boyfriend, and Danny drove me and

mashfanficchick to zer place where I picked up my stuff, and they drove me home.

I Skyped the FWiB, after feeding the pets.

Then I started here.

Gratitude List:

1. The FWiB.

2. Robyn's help.

3. My cousins.

4. The Kid.

5. Good dinner.

6. Things worked out with the hospice.

Mood: good

dewline

One more piece falling into place, maybe.

https://thinkingautismguide.com/2024/05/what-makes-a-home-feel-safe-for-autistic-people.html

Mood: busy
Location: Home-for-now
Music: A friend playing Far Cry 6 and letting me watch via Twitch

neonvincent

Watch on YouTube

Mood: amused
Location: House in the woods at the edge of town
Music: Paleontologizing Twitch Stream

airiefairie

Well, they aren't exactly direwolves.

And naming one of them Khaleesi was an affront to the entire Game of Thrones fanbase, duh!

No, the dire wolf has not been brought back from extinction
( Read more... )

Mood: curious

silver_chipmunk

But I got up at 10:00 anyway and ate breakfast and had coffee and showered and dressed, and then went to see Oldest Brother. It was a good vist. I stayed a little more than a half hour.

AS I was leaving the nursing home I got a call from the hospice person. There may be a glitch, the hospice only covers the cost of the PEG feeding if it's related to the diagnosis. They are reviewing his medical stuff and will let me know.

After that I went to

mashfanficchick's place and called the Kid about it. She says not to worry about it until it's actually denied.

mashfanficchick and I went out to dinner at Bareburger. We walked there and took the bus back. Dinner was delicious.

When we got here I Skyped the FWiB on my phone and we talked til 8:00 when we watched 911 followed by Dr. Odyssey. 911 was... traumatic. No spoilers though.

I called Middle Brother. He is doing well, went out to a game arcade on Monday.

After that we watched a couple of episodes of Will Trent.

Cousin Sue Facebook messaged me. She and Danny are coming tomorrow to see Oldest Brother, and we will have dinner with them. I texted the Kid, and when she didn't respond I called, to let her know. She is busy tomorrow but I hope that she and her boyfriend will have tome to join us.

That's about all. Getting ready for bed now. Obviously I'm saying over again.

Gratitude List:

1. The FWiB.

2. Good TV, even when it's sad.

3. Oldest Brother is doing OK.

4. Also got a text from Eva R asking how we were doing.

5. Yummy dinner.

6. Middle Brother is doing OK.

Mood: good

Credits & Style Info

Talk Politics.

A place to discuss politics without egomaniacal mods

MONTHLY TOPIC:
The Rule of Power

DAILY QUOTE:

"Clearly, the penguins have finally gone too far. First they take our hearts, now they’re tanking the global economy one smug waddle at a time. Expect fish sanctions by Friday."

(nairiporter)

April 2025

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Summary

silver_chipmunk - Back home +1 comment
neonvincent - Rejected video for Earth Day post
megastalin - still in limbo
silver_chipmunk - Unexpectedly staying another night
gustavo - Will you come and see me, if I go now?
gustavo - Théo ou não Théo, eis a questão
neonvincent - A comment about a story I tell my students
dewline - As flawed as he self-admittedly was... +6 comments
silver_chipmunk - Happy Easter
tcpip - Conquest, Isla Bell Charity, and an Easter Message
dewline - Social Media Note: Hey.Cafe +3 comments
neonvincent - Last Retailer Heaven video, for now
abomvubuso - Dark Tranquillity - Atoma
silver_chipmunk - Al-anon and stuff
neonvincent - More Retailer Heaven
silver_chipmunk - Full day
dewline - Making Sense of Myself +2 comments
neonvincent - Halfway through Joann in Retailer Heaven
airiefairie - Heard of those direwolves?
silver_chipmunk - Had a bit of insomnia last night

Talk politics.

A place to discuss politics without egomaniacal mods.

Member Posts

Back home

Rejected video for Earth Day post

still in limbo

Unexpectedly staying another night

Will you come and see me, if I go now?

Théo ou não Théo, eis a questão

A comment about a story I tell my students

As flawed as he self-admittedly was...

Happy Easter

Conquest, Isla Bell Charity, and an Easter Message

Social Media Note: Hey.Cafe

Last Retailer Heaven video, for now

Dark Tranquillity - Atoma

Al-anon and stuff

More Retailer Heaven

Full day

Making Sense of Myself

Halfway through Joann in Retailer Heaven

Heard of those direwolves?

Had a bit of insomnia last night

Credits & Style Info

Links

April 2025

Summary