Restore Flat-Earthistan

[sophia-sadek.livejournal.com]

All of the problems that the world faces today can be traced to the abandonment of the material Creator of the flat and immobile Earth. What is needed is a return to traditional flat-Earth values such as slavery, wife beating, and bludgeoning homosexuals.

Liberals have no faith in the great Lord of Flat-Earthistan. They must be taught a lesson that will bend them at the knee and bow their collective head in servility to the Almighty. I present to you the movement with the message:

What did you learn in Sunday school as a child? What will you do to restore the junk car of Flat-Earthistan?

Comments

[meus-ovatio.livejournal.com]

What did you learn in Sunday school as a child?
I learned some songs and some stories about old dudes.

[a-new-machine.livejournal.com]

Never went to Sunday school.

[chasingtides.livejournal.com]

Seriously?

[meus-ovatio.livejournal.com]

Those damn liberals attempting to strip us of our founding right to mine coal!

[eracerhead.livejournal.com]

Restore America, KY.

[soliloquy76.livejournal.com]

What did you learn in Sunday school as a child?

I learned the meaning of boredom.

What will you do to restore the junk car of Flat-Earthistan?

Vote for Michele Bachmann.

[underlankers.livejournal.com]

You forgot genocide for purposes of securing one's manifest destiny, killing all infidels save virgin women of childbearing age, polygamy, monarchy, a religious law code, and the failures of democracy that would trust sinful man to rule over the priests of the Divine Bomb and the Fellowship of the Holy Fallout-er Sacred Temple in the City of Peace.

[paedraggaidin.livejournal.com]

I'm Catholic and went to a Catholic school for five years. Every day was Sunday School. Sunday was Mass and then Coffee and Doughnuts. :P

[eracerhead.livejournal.com]

I know what I didn't learn. I didn't learn about the prophet Elisha who upon being mocked by a bunch of kids for his baldness, conjured up a pair of she-bears to maul all 42 of them. [2 Kings 2:23-25]

Hear that kids? Respect your elders, or else!

The only real reason to fear religion...

[montecristo.livejournal.com]

...is enabling a government with enough power and authority to impose religion on others by force. We cannot disabuse people of their religious beliefs, but we can refrain from building a government which has the kind of power that is freely available for abuse by anyone with a passion to control others.

[malakh-abaddon.livejournal.com]

What did I learn in Sunday school? Be warned it was an evangelical church so it might offended, but I will tone it down as best as I can.

1. Women who wear pants are w---es.
2. Never question the bible, for it is the exact word of god.
3. Darwin was evil, and was under the employ of Lucifer.
4. Any non-Christian is evil, and was sent to steal your immortal soul.
5. God blessed America, and no one else. Basically a rip from a Chris Rock movie, but that was the gist of it.

That is all I care to discuss from that 5 years of my life. Took me 10 years to unlearn all that stuff.

[gunslnger.livejournal.com]

I don't see how this is political, and it's not Friday...

[kardashev.livejournal.com]

What is needed is a return to traditional flat-Earth values such as slavery, wife beating, and bludgeoning homosexuals.

YOU FORGOT THE WITCH BURNINGS!!! WHERE WOULD WESTERN CIVILIZATION BE WITHOUT THE WITCH BURNINGS???

Seriously, we'd have lost a great comedy sketch from Monty Python:



What did you learn in Sunday school as a child?

As a teen, I learned that Catholic girls tend to be easy lays.

What will you do to restore the junk car of Flat-Earthistan?

Well...

BURN THE WITCHES!!!

[il-mio-gufo.livejournal.com]

What with all this mocking of the Christian communities, how is it that anyone here wonders why the dialogue in this forum is so regularly lacking of some Republican-type input?

[allhatnocattle.livejournal.com]