Restore Flat-Earthistan

[sophia-sadek.livejournal.com]

All of the problems that the world faces today can be traced to the abandonment of the material Creator of the flat and immobile Earth. What is needed is a return to traditional flat-Earth values such as slavery, wife beating, and bludgeoning homosexuals.

Liberals have no faith in the great Lord of Flat-Earthistan. They must be taught a lesson that will bend them at the knee and bow their collective head in servility to the Almighty. I present to you the movement with the message:

What did you learn in Sunday school as a child? What will you do to restore the junk car of Flat-Earthistan?

Comments

[kardashev.livejournal.com]

What is needed is a return to traditional flat-Earth values such as slavery, wife beating, and bludgeoning homosexuals.

YOU FORGOT THE WITCH BURNINGS!!! WHERE WOULD WESTERN CIVILIZATION BE WITHOUT THE WITCH BURNINGS???

Seriously, we'd have lost a great comedy sketch from Monty Python:



What did you learn in Sunday school as a child?

As a teen, I learned that Catholic girls tend to be easy lays.

What will you do to restore the junk car of Flat-Earthistan?

Well...

BURN THE WITCHES!!!

[peristaltor.livejournal.com]

Catholic girls. . . . (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=afIVLB4Ss2g)

[kardashev.livejournal.com]

I don't agree with all of Frank's views but I love him anyway for being such a unorthodox nutcase.

[peristaltor.livejournal.com]

Oh, yeah. He had a weird hatred of unions that he only rationalized with anecdote. It was personal anecdote, but still.

That reminds me of a song.

[sophia-sadek.livejournal.com]

Your observations on Catholic girls was immortalized by Frank Zappa:



The burning of witches was very selective. They never burned the witches who turned Africans into beasts of burden.

You and me both!

[peristaltor.livejournal.com]

The question that should now be here raised is which of us bought the album first? My copy dates back to, let's see, 1990 or '92.

Re: You and me both!

[sophia-sadek.livejournal.com]

I never purchased the album. I did add "Apostrophe" to my collection during the '70s.

Re: That reminds me of a song.

[kardashev.livejournal.com]

Well, on a serious note I doubt they actually got very many genuine witches. Back in the day yelling "She's a witch!" was a great way to off people who you simply didn't like for whatever reason. And those stupid ways of determining witchyness? She drowns to death in the river? Not a witch! She floats in the river? OBVIOUSLY A WITCH!!! BURN HER!!! Wait...STRIP HER NAKED AND TORTURE HER!!! THEN BURN HER!!!

After the days festivities were over, the pious witch hunters would then return to their rooms and privately masturbate while thinking about torturing a defenseless naked woman. Yep. Dark Ages Catholicism was the 4chan of superstitious primitives.

Re: That reminds me of a song.

[sophia-sadek.livejournal.com]

One of the typical reasons for being accused of witchcraft was spurning the sexual advances of a powerful member of the community. Likewise, being seduced and subsequently being caught in the act by the said member's spouse could also earn a witch label. It was an expedient technique for covering up the indiscretion.

Kramer and Sprenger point out that a person could be perceived of being turned into an animal to the point that they even make animal sounds, despite the obvious fallacy of the transformation.