How to Turn the Economy Around

[pastorlenny.livejournal.com]

It has been correctly pointed out in this community several times that we will only be putting Band-Aids^TM on the U.S. economy if we don't actually grow GDP.  Fortunately, as a certified genius, I can offer a foolproof plan for achieving this critical objective.

Eliminate the Environmental Protection Agency immediately and phase out Medicare over time.

By eliminating the EPA, we accomplish two things.  First, we reinvigorate domestic manufacturing by freeing it from the regulatory constraints that have led to its inexorable decline.  Second, we unleash a fresh, new generation of toxic substances upon the American populace.

These toxic substances will, over the long term, substantially compromize the health of said populace.  But that is a good thing -- because, with the elimination of Medicare, the private sector will experience a windfall as people desperate for treatment will pay almost anything just to stay alive.  Also, the large number of deaths before retirement age will reverse the growth in Social Security spending -- preserving the program without further political action by making it solvent once again.

Sure, it will take some time for these outcomes to materialize.  But we have to look past the "Quick Fix" in order to ensure the long-term financial stability of our great country.

Vote for me.


 

Comments

[rick-day.livejournal.com]

You're funny

[pastorlenny.livejournal.com]

Plus I have impressive recuperative powers.

[pastorlenny.livejournal.com]

I think a true free market can probably out-pollute a planned economy -- if the damned global warming hysterics would just get out of the way.

[devil-ad-vocate.livejournal.com]

Can I buy some Agent Orange to get rid of my crabgrass now?

[pastorlenny.livejournal.com]

As soon as the brand consultants come up with a new name and logo, yes.

[shweetnettie13.livejournal.com]

Are you sure you're not descendent from Jonathan Swift?

[pastorlenny.livejournal.com]

No, my race cannot be traced to the Swifts.

[underlankers.livejournal.com]

I for one welcome our new Smog Monster Overlords. Pastorlenny '12 FTW!

[pastorlenny.livejournal.com]

I assume you already have my Paypal info.

[kylinrouge.livejournal.com]

I can attest to this theory. Detonating like 200 nuclear bombs in Nevada has increased the background radiation and made people more resilient to the effects of radiation. The same thing will happen with toxic substances.

[a-new-machine.livejournal.com]

Eventually we can charge high rates for access to our special mutated work force that feeds off of radiation. Either that, or hire them out as mercenaries.

[malasadas.livejournal.com]

Too lazy....not really a Swftian effort.

C+ And only because I am in a good mood.

[pastorlenny.livejournal.com]

"Unless a reviewer has the courage to give you unqualified praise, I say ignore the bastard." -John Steinbeck.

[soliloquy76.livejournal.com]

Not to mention the added benefit of solving our overpopulation problem. Genius!

[pastorlenny.livejournal.com]

I am committed to saving the world -- even if it means there's a little collateral damage.

[kinvore.livejournal.com]

You have my vote, sir.

[pastorlenny.livejournal.com]

First, I need your money.

This reminds me...

[sophia-sadek.livejournal.com]

Have you seen Jon Stewart's "Broke Bank Mounting?" (http://www.thedailyshow.com/watch/wed-june-29-2011/broke-bank-mounting---america-s-dystopian-future) It features two alternate future outcomes depending on the outcome of the debt ceiling vote.

[mintogrubb.livejournal.com]

~ applause ~ .
I would vote for you if I could, but I'm a Brit.

[existentme.livejournal.com]

Lol. This post is love.

[pastorlenny.livejournal.com]

Hippie!

[nano-muse.livejournal.com]

Plus, other benefits of that many dead people: less people hogging oil and energy and resources, so more stuff for those who survive. Survival of the fittest and all that crap.

[pastorlenny.livejournal.com]

I will discuss incentivizing homicide and suicide in a subsequent post.

[root-fu.livejournal.com]

If would be more funny if it weren't so close to the truth.

[atasharuku.livejournal.com]

pastorlenny for president! xD

[pastorlenny.livejournal.com]

You are clearly a personal of exceptional discernment and noble character.

[eracerhead.livejournal.com]

Along these same lines we should promote cigarette smoking and recreational use of hard drugs, whilst also enacting cash in advance policies for all medical treatment except euthanasia and abortion, which would be free.

While we're at it, why not also invoke the death penalty for any crime involving less than a million dollars.

[il-mio-gufo.livejournal.com]

well, i don't see why we just don't a) tax the wages of anyone abroad working for an American based corporation, and b) enforce a two-children limit on all American families {one would be too much like China ~ we would need to be more accommodating seeing as how we're American and all}