Friday lulz! (We're STILL doom'd)

[mahnmut.livejournal.com]

A proposed design for the new billboards on the Coming of the Raptor

OAKLAND, California -- Shortly after his newest failed prophecy on when the end of the world will occur, Rev. Howard Camping released a statement saying that he had "misinterpreted a key verse of scripture" and has now slated the new date for the end of the world via Raptor to come on October 21st, 2011.

He had clarified that certain events that had to happen before the world ended hadn’t happened yet; his main point was that Oprah hadn’t been cancelled yet. However, he notes that many other events that foretold the end of the world, such as Miley Cyrus covering Nirvana’s "Smells Like Teen Spirit", Snooki becoming a New York Times Best Seller, and Nickelback being voted by Billboard Top 100 to be the Group of the Decade, had already transpired. He also noted some erroneous scriptural evidence.

This comes off the apparent failure of The Raptor, which was supposed to happen on Saturday, May 21, 2011. Thousands of billboards had to be taken down because, apparently, people read billboards now. Camping is now advising his followers to watch for the signs and to follow three key statements for the Coming of the Raptor:

1. Reinforce your door hinges,
2. Replace all door handles with door knobs, because
3. Raptors can now open doors.


Sources:

Yahoo: "Preacher says world will actually end in October".
National Post: "Nickelback "Band of Decade" According to Billboard".
Buzzfeed: "Miley Cyrus covers Nirvana".

Comments

[ddstory.livejournal.com]

I wonder why it's always the 21st of... something. What's so magical about this number?

[deborahkla.livejournal.com]

LOL - I was wondering that, too.

[malasadas.livejournal.com]

3 is the Trinity.

7 are the days of G-d's creation.

3 x 7 = 21

I dunno. I'm guessing.

[underlankers.livejournal.com]

It's a prime number?

Obvious

[geezer-also.livejournal.com]

I was born on a 21st which became the beginning of "the end of the world as we know it"

[deborahkla.livejournal.com]

Looks like I'll just have to keep rescheduling my Doomsday Afterparty...

Breaking news!!! Björk farts again!!!

[luvdovz.livejournal.com]

O_O

[mahnmut.livejournal.com]

So it has begun!!!

Re: Breaking news!!! Björk farts again!!!

[underlankers.livejournal.com]

Seal Team 6 on Twitter

[htpcl.livejournal.com]

Seal Team 6 doesn’t drink OJ for breakfast - they drink Agent Orange.
Seal Team 6 is what happens when a moveable object meets an unstoppable force.
Night Vision Goggles are totally useless without Seal Team 6.
Seal Team 6 is actually 20.
Seal Team 6 is trained to bury their targets at sea.
Seal Team 6 would accept Allah of it were not for the religion.
Seal Team 6 does NOT know who you are either.
Seal Team 6 is to Seal teams what a stinger is to a hornet.
When the president runs out of all options he calls for "Seal Team 6"
President Jimmy Carter did NOT use Seal Team 6.
Seal Team 6 lands choppers for shit.
Super-human misery suffers from a "Seal Team 6 complex."
They are called "Seal Team 6" because 96% (9+6=15 & 1+5=6) of applicants drop out within 6 minutes of day one.
Mount Everest once tried - unsuccessfully - to climb Seal Team 6.
Seal Team 6 is never taught that they are maggots.
Awesome is so Seal Team 6 that's it's unbelievable.
Seal Team 6 believes that a dead target is always less work.
Wives of terrorists have nightmares about Seal Team 6.
Seal Team 6 must run while carrying a boat 2000 miles before breakfast.
Seal Team 6 doesn’t use toilet paper, they use terrorists wrapped in barbed wire.
Seal Team 6 issued a Fatwa on Allah.
It's useless for targets to flee from Seal Team 6 - they will simply die exhausted.
Seal Team 6 is to combat what Godzilla is to lizards.
Seal Team 6 blood is worth on average one million dollars per drop - dead or alive – in training costs.
Kryptonite and Uranium are both allergic to Seal Team 6.
God is the 7th member of Seal Team 6.
Seal Team 6 doesn’t need nukes because headshots are much more fun.
Predator Drones are jealous of Seal Team 6.
You are not truly fucked unless Seal Team 6 says so.
Secrecy itself doesn't know who's in Seal Team 6.
Seal Team 6 once granted an audience to Pope John Paul I.
Rambo flunked out of Seal Team 6 in his prime.
Seal Team 6 has never heard of Chuck Norris.
More men claim falsely to be former Seal Team 6 members than those who don't.
After making love your wife/husband apologizes for not being Seal Team 6.
Cancer is terrified of catching Seal Team 6.
There is absolutely no cure if you are infected by Seal Team 6.
Water can actually survive under Seal Team 6.
Seal Team 6 doesn’t fuck unless ordered to.
Whatever Seal Team 6 doesn’t kill only makes them stronger.
Porn actors have Seal Team 6 on their PCs.
Jack Bauer was rejected from Seal Team 6 for being a gay-pacifist.

Re: Seal Team 6 on Twitter

[jerseycajun.livejournal.com]

Didn't Disney buy all the rights to the name "Seal Team 6?"

I think you might owe them a small fortune.

Re: Seal Team 6 on Twitter

[mybodymycoffin.livejournal.com]

I totally dig the Islamophobia and homophobia in some of these :|

[root-fu.livejournal.com]

[airiefairie.livejournal.com]

On-topic

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[htpcl.livejournal.com]

Not this girl again :-X

[blue-mangos.livejournal.com]

On behalf of Canada I sincerely apologize for Nickelback. We are so deeply ashamed. :(

edited to use new Canadian icon!

[ddstory.livejournal.com]

You should be! And there's more to be ashamed of:

BIEBEEEERRRRR!!!!

Your weekly dose of science

[ddstory.livejournal.com]

Nuclear Radiation Affects Sex of Babies, Study Suggests (http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2011/05/110526091308.htm)

Ionizing radiation is not without danger to human populations. Indeed, exposure to nuclear radiation leads to an increase in male births relative to female births, according to a new study by Hagen Scherb and Kristina Voigt from the Helmholtz Zentrum München.

So more male babies => danger to human population. :)))

Re: Your weekly dose of science

[blue-mangos.livejournal.com]

So more male babies => danger to human population.

Yeah, I'm not touching this one ;)

[lai-choi-san.livejournal.com]

[underlankers.livejournal.com]

Been working on another alternate history timeline. Essentially due to a different order by Hitler Army Group Center is destroyed in December 1941, ripping a gaping hole into Wehrmacht defenses. Need to restore a front line of some sort delays the Wannsee Conference by several months, and the intended Nazi strike in 1942 is an attempted pissing contest to restore the lines of December 1941, and they hit right in the middle Soviet strength where the Soviets wanted them to.

The result is an Axis version of the Battle of the Okha Line, and by 1943 the Germans are being driven out of the USSR, the USA's giving the Soviets more manpower, the Holocaust never sees development of gas chambers and instead exists more as the Einsatzgruppen-trucks variant, due to Soviet advances meaning the Germans are in constant retreat and never have three or so years to develop the full mass murder apparatus.

By 1944 the Western allies are launching Overlord and the Soviets are deep into the Balkans, with more manpower to go along with their firepower and mobility improvements. World War II in Europe ends in late 1944, and by January 1945 Japan's still fighting in the Philippines and tens of millions of Soviets are tearing it a new one in Manchuria and Korea.....

[underlankers.livejournal.com]

So if anyone's keeping track, that's Up With the Star, Our Dixie Forever, and Perun's Thunder. The first is the alternate Union victory, the other the Confederate victory, this one an alternate Allied victory. The really interesting part is that IOTL the Battle of Moscow nearly destroyed Army Group Center and it was Hitler's order for them to stand and fight that prevented that, because it took advantage of Soviet logistical weaknesses (and it was still a near thing). If the Fuhrer decides to keep the withdrawal moving, the Soviets end Army Group Center in December and German invincibility is well and truly dead for the rest of the war starting in 1941.

And this is history geekiness:

[underlankers.livejournal.com]

[montanaisaleg.livejournal.com]

I prefer to read your first source as "Yahoo Preacher says world will actually end in October." Remove the colon and move the quote.

[meupatdoes.livejournal.com]

A+

New class of planets (rouge) could number in billions

[telemann.livejournal.com]

Astronomers have discovered a whole new class of alien planet: a vast population of Jupiter-mass worlds that float through space without any discernible host star, a new study finds. A researcher in Japan found ten new Jupiter like planets with a new microscope technique and data suggests that there could be billions more. The discovery that there could be many as 400 billion wandering or interstellar planets has astronomy academics amazed. And more so should the findings hold to be completely accurate. The planets were found in a new telescoping technique and these planets are called “Jupiter mass” objects. The Jupiter mass planets are hanging out in the Milky Way and moving far away from the stars and around the Galaxy’s center.

Re: New class of planets (rouge) could number in billions

[mahnmut.livejournal.com]

So Nibiru / Planet-X could be right then?

I wonder what knocks these planets off orbit.

[dark-weezing.livejournal.com]

Between Cyrus' Santorum comments and her doing a Nirvana cover, I'm set for life.

If anyone cares about the former:

http://www. politico .com/click/stories/1105/miley_cyrus_knocks_rick_santorum.html

No, I don't want to talk about the politics at the moment, just wanted to point it out. (If I do, it will be at a later date.)

Dvorak Carnival Overture Op.92 德佛札克 狂歡節序曲 作品92

[telemann.livejournal.com]

Beautifully performed by Taiwanese High School Students. Amazing. Enjoy!