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talkpoliticsFor shame, America! You've been beaten to it yet again! Britain has appointed a professional asshole at a high-ranking government position long before you've had the chance to elect your future asshole president! That's what happens when you protract your election for 2+ years!
New British PM Theresa May has chosen her Foreign Secretary. And it's going to be... wait for it... BORIS JOHNSON!
That's the guy who called the Congoans "piccaninnies", and said, "No doubt the AK47s will fall silent, and the pangas will stop their hacking of human flesh, and the tribal warriors will all break out in watermelon smiles to see the big white chief touch down". It's the same guy who said the Tories had become used to "Papua New Guinea-style orgies of cannibalism and chief-killing". The one who said of Hillary Clinton she's got "dyed blonde hair and pouty lips, and a steely blue stare, like a sadistic nurse in a mental hospital". The one who said the only reason he wouldn't visit some parts of NY was "the real risk of meeting Donald Trump" (oooh this is gunna be a beautiful relationship!) He's also the one who compared Putin to "Dobby the House Elf" from Harry Potter. The one who said Obama had removed Churchill's bust from the Oval Office as "a symbol of the part-Kenyan President’s ancestral dislike of the British empire". And of course, the one who won the Offend Erdogan Poetry Contest by rhyming Ankara with "wankerer". Yeah, that Boris Johnson.
AWESOME!!!
May the lulz begin. (Rubs hands with evil grin)...
Now that the UK government has had such a hilarious start, and things are looking set up to get even better for them, what with all the awesome appointments they've made, America should totally follow suit and elect President Douchebag, to complete the transition to theDark Ridiculous Side of the Force. They did have a President Moron for 8 years, after all, so it's not like they lack the experience.
Oh, and while we're at it, may I make a few suggestions for members of Trump's future government:
- Sen. James Inhofe for Secretary of Energy. Because he seems pretty well-versed in the dealings of those snowballs.
- Rep. Sean Duffy for Secretary of Health. A father of seven who believes the oppressive state is after his children through evil vaccination.
- Rudy Giuliani for Secretary of the Interior. Because he understands the problems of black crime so damn well.
- Ken Ham for Secretary of Science and Education. Teach the controversy, baby!
- Rush Limbaugh for Chief of Staff. He calls the shots in the GOP for the most part, anyway. Or at least used to.
- Sean Hannity for Minister of The Truth and Information. Because he never makes shit up. (We'll need to establish a new department for that).
- Chris Christie for Secretary of Transportation. He seems like an expert in blocking highway bridges to areas inhabited by people who don't agree with him.
- George W Bush for Secretary of Art, Music and Dances. He's definitely got the talent for it, it seems.
- Herman Cain for Ambassador to the Benevolent Realm of Ubekibekistan.
- And of course, Sarah Palin as Secretary of State. I'm sure she'd do a great job there, what with seeing Russia from her porch. ;-)
Needless to say, the list is far from being exhaustive. I'm open to more suggestions.
New British PM Theresa May has chosen her Foreign Secretary. And it's going to be... wait for it... BORIS JOHNSON!
That's the guy who called the Congoans "piccaninnies", and said, "No doubt the AK47s will fall silent, and the pangas will stop their hacking of human flesh, and the tribal warriors will all break out in watermelon smiles to see the big white chief touch down". It's the same guy who said the Tories had become used to "Papua New Guinea-style orgies of cannibalism and chief-killing". The one who said of Hillary Clinton she's got "dyed blonde hair and pouty lips, and a steely blue stare, like a sadistic nurse in a mental hospital". The one who said the only reason he wouldn't visit some parts of NY was "the real risk of meeting Donald Trump" (oooh this is gunna be a beautiful relationship!) He's also the one who compared Putin to "Dobby the House Elf" from Harry Potter. The one who said Obama had removed Churchill's bust from the Oval Office as "a symbol of the part-Kenyan President’s ancestral dislike of the British empire". And of course, the one who won the Offend Erdogan Poetry Contest by rhyming Ankara with "wankerer". Yeah, that Boris Johnson.
AWESOME!!!
May the lulz begin. (Rubs hands with evil grin)...
Now that the UK government has had such a hilarious start, and things are looking set up to get even better for them, what with all the awesome appointments they've made, America should totally follow suit and elect President Douchebag, to complete the transition to the
Oh, and while we're at it, may I make a few suggestions for members of Trump's future government:
- Sen. James Inhofe for Secretary of Energy. Because he seems pretty well-versed in the dealings of those snowballs.
- Rep. Sean Duffy for Secretary of Health. A father of seven who believes the oppressive state is after his children through evil vaccination.
- Rudy Giuliani for Secretary of the Interior. Because he understands the problems of black crime so damn well.
- Ken Ham for Secretary of Science and Education. Teach the controversy, baby!
- Rush Limbaugh for Chief of Staff. He calls the shots in the GOP for the most part, anyway. Or at least used to.
- Sean Hannity for Minister of The Truth and Information. Because he never makes shit up. (We'll need to establish a new department for that).
- Chris Christie for Secretary of Transportation. He seems like an expert in blocking highway bridges to areas inhabited by people who don't agree with him.
- George W Bush for Secretary of Art, Music and Dances. He's definitely got the talent for it, it seems.
- Herman Cain for Ambassador to the Benevolent Realm of Ubekibekistan.
- And of course, Sarah Palin as Secretary of State. I'm sure she'd do a great job there, what with seeing Russia from her porch. ;-)
Needless to say, the list is far from being exhaustive. I'm open to more suggestions.
(no subject)
Date: 14/7/16 07:12 (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 14/7/16 07:15 (UTC)Unless he becomes a political Undead. He sure does have the potential for it.
(no subject)
Date: 14/7/16 07:16 (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 14/7/16 07:24 (UTC)I can haz peace on thoze termz!
(no subject)
Date: 14/7/16 11:39 (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 14/7/16 07:29 (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 14/7/16 07:31 (UTC)On the other hand, Murdoch is Aussie, I'm sure he could arrange something for his ideological buddies.
(no subject)
Date: 14/7/16 07:32 (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 14/7/16 07:33 (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 14/7/16 07:35 (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 14/7/16 08:14 (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 14/7/16 08:52 (UTC)If anyone can be a secretary, can a goat be a secretary too?
(no subject)
Date: 14/7/16 08:53 (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 14/7/16 08:54 (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 14/7/16 08:54 (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 14/7/16 11:00 (UTC)And I, um... I don't know. Cabinet positions require senate confirmation, but I think as long as the goat is deeply concerned about which bathroom people use, the Republican Senate would have no problems with the nomination.
(no subject)
Date: 14/7/16 11:34 (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 14/7/16 07:37 (UTC)Maybe they could make a PresidentDouche website soon?
(no subject)
Date: 14/7/16 07:43 (UTC)It is going to be a looong, odd stare, no doubt.
And Putin? Perhaps he could take him on a ride on the back of his horse when they meet somewhere in Siberia. They could ride off into the distance together, both topless, and sporting their brand new beer bellies. Or something.
(no subject)
Date: 14/7/16 07:45 (UTC)bearmeerkat meets with the British hippo. T'is gonna be faaabulous!(no subject)
Date: 14/7/16 07:52 (UTC)Boris gets a job where any high-profile blunders immediately discredit him and set the right wing of the Tory party back at least two steps, and she can describe the appointment as a political necessity to keep the right wing appeased.
He's appointed knowing that he's going to screw up. It is a good joke, followed by apologies to those Boris will no doubt offend by his oafish gracelessness.
(no subject)
Date: 14/7/16 08:56 (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 14/7/16 09:21 (UTC):)
Boris will be Boris, after all.
(no subject)
Date: 15/7/16 17:56 (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 14/7/16 12:11 (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 14/7/16 14:51 (UTC)As then will my kids. Like many "English" folk and "British" (Scots, Welsh and some Irish, though not all by any means) folk, I have dual (or more) nationality rights through a bastard mongrel ancestry. Yet most of us choose to be English, or British of some description. Or did until very recently, anyway.
As usual, many of the multicultural upper classes, and some of the other less well-off children of immigrants, are slightly less limited than the folk who actually voted for this mess. Which is pleasing in itself, of course, obvs: but only in an "I told you so, you stupid wankers" sort of way, which is just a trifle pathetic amongst grown ups. But sometimes the idiots need to know the depths of their idiocy, and it must be made plain to them. I just can't distinguish between the two cases at the moment.
I'll stick to hoping we can find an acceptable political fudging to sort through this mess with minimal damage. Now the shock has passed we have to re-align our polities; and passing Boris a job he is temperamentally unsuited to do is only one way of hamstringing the right in ours, but not the only one. The fact that Boris is temperamentally unsuited to any responsible job other than stuffing his shorts full of custard or sleeping with an inappropriate wife, is I suppose, neither here nor there. I too have been known to sleep with an inappropriate wife, but I have no desire for high office, as it would evidently get in the way of my more important hobbies, and I recognise I am unsuited and unsuitable for such office. Would that Boris recognised this in himself. But I suppose a chap has to earn a crust.