talkpolitics | Minority Group Demands Language Recognition

Hey, my beloved procrastinators! It's been a while since we had our last installment of ridiculously over-simplified and unbearably polarized hypothetical situations, inspired by the NationStates online game - you know, that place where you're the benevolent ruler of your own fictional state, which you're completely free to shape as you please, based on the stupid choices you make in situations like the below presented. Last time when we delved into the depths of True Democracy(tm), the bulk of you guys sided with Ms Golfswinkel, TV studio exec who insisted that the idea of government-mandated quotas and government prizes for stimulating a bigger representation of minorities on television was, well, a pile of cowshit, and the market should be let to sort out these matters like the good invisible benevolent demiurge that it is.

Now the issue is again related to minority rights, but with a little twist into a different, linguistic direction.

The Issue
A group several thousands strong hailing from a remote, isolated corner of Insert Country Name is staging a massive demonstration on the front steps of your capitol. They demand that their local dialect be recognized as an official language.

The Debate
1. Shaun Giggity, your Minister of Culture, has nothing but disdain for the demonstrators. "The language of Insert Country Name is as important to our national identity as our history is. A truly erudite individual uses perfect grammar and refuses to speak as those ruffians do." Your Finance Minister is quick to chime in as well, while fixing a huge lapel pin with the national flag on his suit, "If business is required to print every road sign, instruction manual, and fast-food wrapper in more than one language, it would increase everybody's overhead. That means higher prices for the person in the street."

2. "Smarker, but ee's gone blongie 'round the clonger! Trandy in the blang warked a newtie on the Cheebers, quaff me a duggle if it's brine. Sorky, hang our trandy high!" says Dubblobb MakHobbo, speaking for the demonstrators, in an apparently rousing response that draws a cascade of cheers. After a few uncomfortable minutes with a professional translator, you find the speaker said, "I respectfully disagree with the Minister. Multilingualism has brought stability to richly-cultured nations such as Brancaland; indeed, I challenge you to provide a single counterexample. I encourage this government to adopt a policy of multilingualism throughout Insert Country Name!"

3. Parah Salin, a radical opposition member and maverick of renown who seems to tag along to every demonstration she can find, has her own proposal. "The language barrier is keeping us all apart. What Insert Country Name truly needs is a new identity defined by a new language that we can all agree on. That's unity without favoritism!"

The legislature of Insert Country Name is preparing to adopt a decision.

[Poll #1967745]

Naturally, there's no None Of The Above option, and for a reason. Mwahhahah.