Friday nonsense: Cartoon physics!

[ddstory.livejournal.com]

Cartoon physics, also known as cartoon mechanics, is a theory of mechanics in modern physics that seeks to explain behavior left unexplained by Newtonian mechanics or even by General relativity. Described first in the seminal work Looney Tunes, the theory has gained massive media recognition as a refreshing alternative to other ideas such as string theory or even quantum mechanics. However, detractors claim that the ideas outlined in cartoon physics are too cartoonish.

The theory includes various aspects of other mechanical theories, such as extra dimensions, non-instantaneous action at a distance, and even quantum superpositions (although at a macroscopic scale, thereby missing the entire point of quantum superpositions). However, the manner in which such concepts are formulated within cartoon physics are radically different, which is to say that the concepts are replaced with stuff made up off the top of one's head. Their implications have revolutionized worlds, often making seemingly outlandish phenomena not only possible, but also torturously frequent.

The examples are as many as the tons in this ACME anvil, which is of course doomed to invariably fall on the head of the bad cartoon character:



EXAMPLES!!!

The photograph of Wile E. Coyote over Arizona that revitalized the development of the theory of cartoon gravity.


A particularly dangerous case of delayed gravitational action.


Tweety pulling out dynamite from a dimensionally transcendental space, as predicted in the formulation of cartoon physics called H-theory.


Wile E. Coyote paints a quantum-locked tunnel. His neglecting to continually observe the tunnel reverses the collapse of the wavefunction, allowing Road Runner to ambiguously pass through the tunnel.


The implications of cartoon physics on optics led to facilitated development of negative index metamaterials, allowing the invention of invisibility products.

Comments

[dexeron.livejournal.com]

Recent research in physics has increased our knowledge of dimensionally transcendental spaces. In popular parlance, these extra-dimensional realms are often referred to as "hammer space" or "mallet space", and have many applications, such as punishing a cheating boyfriend, attacking large robots of various manufacture, and railroad engineering.

[ddstory.livejournal.com]

Cartoon physics, like other modern theories of physics such as general relativity, rejects Newton's idea of instantaneous action at a distance with regards to gravity. However, the implications of the formulation of non-instantaneous gravitational action in cartoon physics are unusual to say the least.

Usually, gravity behaves according to general relativity, and on the everyday scale it appears as though gravity acts upon an object instantly as Newtonian mechanics would demand. However, on very rare occasions, the rate at which gravity acts becomes incredibly slow. This phenomenon is called delayed gravitational action, or DGA. DGA affects cross-sections of the body affected at a discernibly distorted rate, causing cross-sections of the body to fall at continuously varying rates.

This effect of DGA usually results in the precise opposite of Lorentz contraction, in which the object affected will stretch downwards before starting to observably drop.

DGA vindicates Aristotle's experiment of the rock and the feather, although for the wrong reason: the rock falls faster not because of its greater weight, but because of its greater volume. In addition, it means that if a villain suddenly finds himself in a gravitationally disadvantageous situation, he has enough time for a final speech or last glare into the fourth wall before falling whole to his death.

[enders-shadow.livejournal.com]

[unnamed525.livejournal.com]

*snicker*

[htpcl.livejournal.com]

Win.

[yes-justice.livejournal.com]

http://funnies.paco.to/cartoon.html

Cartoon Law I

Any body suspended in space will remain in space until made aware of its situation.
Daffy Duck steps off a cliff, expecting further pastureland. He loiters in midair, soliloquizing flippantly, until he chances to look down. At this point, the familiar principle of 32 feet per second per second takes over.

Cartoon Law II

Any body in motion will tend to remain in motion until solid matter intervenes suddenly.
Whether shot from a cannon or in hot pursuit on foot, cartoon characters are so absolute in their momentum that only a telephone pole or an outsize boulder retards their forward motion absolutely. Sir Isaac Newton called this sudden termination of motion the stooge's surcease.

Cartoon Law III

Any body passing through solid matter will leave a perforation conforming to its perimeter.
Also called the silhouette of passage, this phenomenon is the speciality of victims of directed-pressure explosions and of reckless cowards who are so eager to escape that they exit directly through the wall of a house, leaving a cookie-cutout-perfect hole. The threat of skunks or matrimony often catalyzes this reaction.

Cartoon Law IV

The time required for an object to fall twenty stories is greater than or equal to the time it takes for whoever knocked it off the ledge to spiral down twenty flights to attempt to capture it unbroken.
Such an object is inevitably priceless, the attempt to capture it inevitably unsuccessful.

Cartoon Law V

All principles of gravity are negated by fear.
Psychic forces are sufficient in most bodies for a shock to propel them directly away from the earth's surface. A spooky noise or an adversary's signature sound will induce motion upward, usually to the cradle of a chandelier, a treetop, or the crest of a flagpole. The feet of a character who is running or the wheels of a speeding auto need never touch the ground, especially when in flight.

Cartoon Law VI

As speed increases, objects can be in several places at once.
This is particularly true of tooth-and-claw fights, in which a character's head may be glimpsed emerging from the cloud of altercation at several places simultaneously. This effect is common as well among bodies that are spinning or bhttp://funnies.paco.to/cartoon.htmleing throttled.

A wacky character has the option of self-replication only at manic high speeds and may ricochet off walls to achieve the velocity required.

Cartoon Law VII

Certain bodies can pass through solid walls painted to resemble tunnel entrances; others cannot.
This trompe l'oeil inconsistency has baffled generations, but at least it is known that whoever paints an entrance on a wall's surface to trick an opponent will be unable to pursue him into this theoretical space.

The painter is flattened against the wall when he attempts to follow into the painting. This is ultimately a problem of art, not of science.

Cartoon Law VIII

Any violent rearrangement of feline matter is impermanent.
Cartoon cats possess even more deaths than the traditional nine lives might comfortably afford. They can be decimated, spliced, splayed, accordion-pleated, spindled, or disassembled, but they cannot be destroyed. After a few moments of blinking self pity, they reinflate, elongate, snap back, or solidify.

[yes-justice.livejournal.com]

Corollary:

A cat will assume the shape of its container.
Cartoon Law IX

Everything falls faster than an anvil.
Cartoon Law X

For every vengeance there is an equal and opposite revengeance.
This is the one law of animated cartoon motion that also applies to the physical world at large. For that reason, we need the relief of watching it happen to a duck instead.

Cartoon Law Amendment A

A sharp object will always propel a character upward.
When poked (usually in the buttocks) with a sharp object (usually a pin), a character will defy gravity by shooting straight up, with great velocity.

Cartoon Law Amendment B

The laws of object permanence are nullified for "cool" characters.
Characters who are intended to be "cool" can make previously nonexistent objects appear from behind their backs at will. For instance, the Road Runner can materialize signs to express himself without speaking.

Cartoon Law Amendment C

Explosive weapons cannot cause fatal injuries.
They merely turn characters temporarily black and smokey.

Cartoon Law Amendment D

Gravity is transmitted by slow-moving waves of large wavelengths.
Their operation can be wittnessed by observing the behavior of a canine suspended over a large vertical drop. Its feet will begin to fall first, causing its legs to stretch. As the wave reaches its torso, that part will begin to fall, causing the neck to strech. As the head begins to fall, tension is released and the canine will resume its regular proportions until such time as it strikes the ground.

Cartoon Law Amendment E

Dynamite is spontaneously generated in "C-spaces" (spaces in which cartoon laws hold).
The process is analogous to steady-state theories of the universe which postulated that the tensions involved in maintaining a space would cause the creation of hydrogen from nothing. Dynamite quanta are quite large (stick sized) and unstable (lit). Such quanta are attracted to psychic forces generated by feelings of distress in "cool" characters (see Amendment B, which may be a special case of this law), who are able to use said quanta to their advantage. One may imagine C-spaces where all matter and energy result from primal masses of dynamite exploding. A big bang indeed.

[htpcl.livejournal.com]

[yes-justice.livejournal.com]

Chris Signore - The Cartoon Laws of Physics (http://www.dailymotion.com/video/xcocbs_chris-signore-the-cartoon-laws-of-p_fun) by SignoreBoy (http://www.dailymotion.com/SignoreBoy)

[yes-justice.livejournal.com]

[ddstory.livejournal.com]

[yes-justice.livejournal.com]

Wait, is that talk_politics?

[mahnmut.livejournal.com]

Issac Cartoonewton's second law: for every vengeance, there is an opposite equal revengeance.

[rimpala.livejournal.com]

Other cartoon physics:

Squash and Stretch: Ever since the days of Steamboat Willy cartoon characters have an uncanny elastic quality about them, this previous image clarly illustrates this point:


This has led many to believe that cartoon characters are either incredibly flabby and need to work out more or in fact boneless invertebrates.

Squash and stretch principles even extend to their clothing, it becomes every bit as expressive as they are:


It's also a well known fact that costumes look waaaaaaaaaay better on comic book and anime characters then they do on real people. No, unfortunately you will never, ever be this cool:


Lastly there is Murphy's Law, which always affects characters like Wile E. Coyote and always overrides any law of physics. This is why the catapult never works right until he's on top of it getting it to budge. This is the fate of many an antagonist in any work of fiction. This is why the player in any video-game has the advantage of god mode.

[yes-justice.livejournal.com]

http://www.cracked.com/quick-fixes/3-people-who-cheated-death-using-cartoon-physics/

[yes-justice.livejournal.com]

[yes-justice.livejournal.com]

Bible physics combined with cartoon physics:

[underlankers.livejournal.com]

Speaking of cartoon physics....