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talkpoliticsAn open letter from Alex Jones, Glenn Beck, Sean Hannity, David Icke, Herman Cain, Rush Limbaugh, Donald Trump, Jesse Ventura, Michael Tsarion and the rest of the Elders of Wisdom.
Dear fellow freedom fighters, despite his awesome character, our candidate the Rominee was unfairly beaten in a stolen election by the incumbent President Hussein bin-Obama, the well-known Manchurian candidate who's been destroying This Great Nation from within for the last four years. Clearly, we've all realized by now what could've stopped the re-election of the first black, gay, Marxist, Muslim, atheist, anarchist, Islamofascist, Communazi evil mastermind who's a puppet of the banksters, teh Juice, Muslim Brotherhood, Chinese commies, Illuminati, Bill Ayers, Saul Alinsky and Elizabeth II, Queen of the Shapeshifter lizardoid Andromedans. Our dear fellow freedom fighters, the one thing that could've stopped him, and what will ultimately stop him from becoming a three-term president, is... more batshit insane conspiracy theories!
When Barry the Hussein came to power 4 years ago, we totally didn't see it coming. We were still stuck in outdated conspiracy theories like 9-11 being an inside job of the Juice, or the airplane trails seeding death in the skies. But today? Oooh today we do know what we're standing against! As the stakes are the fate of the world, nay, the Galaxy, no more and no less, and we already know the truth about the half billion real Americans perishing in the secret FEMA camps, and hundreds of thousands of Islamist terrorists being smuggled across our borders in the form of anchor babies and biding their time to strike our freedoms, and all the perilous threats threatening to do something terrible to our bodily fluids... we've prepared the REAL SHIT for the next 4 years!
We promise to exercise our First Amendment right till it bleeds, and we're now working over a new set of outlandish, contradictory, or outright batshit insane conspiracy theories that you've never heard of before - and we're going to sprinkle, nay, dump them into the public discourse, and employ a vast array of wingnuts, crackpots and even prominent public figureheads, to open your eyes of the doom that's coming to America.
Here's just a short glimpse of those, to give you a taste of what's coming...
- Obama has a plan to declare himself Tzar of Earth. All Christian kids will be rounded up and lined up at wind turbines, where they'll be blowing wind into them for 20 hours a day, while tree-hugging hippies whip them on their bare asses. All real Americans who haven't been detained to the FEMA death camps will be shipped over to Mars, once those rovers have fulfilled their mission, namely: to find the perfect place to build new concentration camps. The American law won't apply there, since it's another planet.
- Obama's real dad wasn't born in Kenya. He was actually born in Honolulu, and he's Barack himself, who lived in the future in year 2050, after the liberal-induced Armageddon.
- Obama's cronies won the election for him by intimidating and discouraging conservative white males from voting, particularly in the swing states, by spamming them with pictures of Barack's gargantuan brown eel that reigns in his pants. That would've probably won the hearts of the conservative white ladies, if any such thing existed. Because once you go Barack... well, you know the rest.
- All the things Obama says and does and thinks is funneled straight into his head through a teleprompter. There's a microchip implanted in his amygdala that directly receives those instructions. Whenever a teleprompter is not anywhere near him, the signal is directed at him via magic by a central invisible teleprompter visible only to him, and the source of the signal resides in a secret underground facility under the hollow Mount Shasta, where interdimensional portals to another universe are hidden.
- The shapeshifting liberal aliens who've passed into our dimension from those portals, have implanted secret saboteurs in the Republican party, who undermined its chances of ruling the world by pushing forward a candidate whose name rhymes with shit, quit, clit and twit, thus making sure that he would be subject to innumerable quips and mocking, thus destroying the morale of conservatives and making them stay at home on election day.
- Obama is a shapeshifter too. When his Jedi mind tricks don't work on the audience, he actually has the looks of Gollum, the heart of Grima Wormtongue and the mind of Saruman the White (after he sold himself to Sauron).
- Jooz! Kommies! And Jooz! Also lots of Kommies! Oh, and did I mention MUSLINS?!??!1!1?
- When he stole the previous election in 2008 from our good guy Johnnie the Walking Corpse, Hussein bin-Obama froze a few million votes in a secret bunker in Area-51, and they remained there awaiting the day of his re-election. Then they were released on November 6, 2012, and stole the election for him. Too bad. And Johnny was such a funny guy!
- Hussein's lapel pin only looks like an American flag. In fact it contains a secret Arabic prayer from the Satanic Verses on one side, and on the other, the emblem of the Priory of Sion, who are the successors of the Knights Templar, who in turn are successors of the Brotherhood of the Snake in ancient Egypt and have stolen the Holy Grail from Jerusalem (did I mention teh Juice?) They are also the mortal enemy of the Green Lantern and the Galactic Guardians, which explains another conspiracy: the poor box office turnout and the horrible critical acclaim of the Green Lantern movie. There are no coincidences in Hollywood! (Which, might I point out, is also controlled by the Juice).
- Ps. Has anyone seen Obama's birth certificate lately? Why has Obama and Obama's Birth Certificate never appeared at the same place simultaneously???
Dear fellow freedom fighters, despite his awesome character, our candidate the Rominee was unfairly beaten in a stolen election by the incumbent President Hussein bin-Obama, the well-known Manchurian candidate who's been destroying This Great Nation from within for the last four years. Clearly, we've all realized by now what could've stopped the re-election of the first black, gay, Marxist, Muslim, atheist, anarchist, Islamofascist, Communazi evil mastermind who's a puppet of the banksters, teh Juice, Muslim Brotherhood, Chinese commies, Illuminati, Bill Ayers, Saul Alinsky and Elizabeth II, Queen of the Shapeshifter lizardoid Andromedans. Our dear fellow freedom fighters, the one thing that could've stopped him, and what will ultimately stop him from becoming a three-term president, is... more batshit insane conspiracy theories!
When Barry the Hussein came to power 4 years ago, we totally didn't see it coming. We were still stuck in outdated conspiracy theories like 9-11 being an inside job of the Juice, or the airplane trails seeding death in the skies. But today? Oooh today we do know what we're standing against! As the stakes are the fate of the world, nay, the Galaxy, no more and no less, and we already know the truth about the half billion real Americans perishing in the secret FEMA camps, and hundreds of thousands of Islamist terrorists being smuggled across our borders in the form of anchor babies and biding their time to strike our freedoms, and all the perilous threats threatening to do something terrible to our bodily fluids... we've prepared the REAL SHIT for the next 4 years!
We promise to exercise our First Amendment right till it bleeds, and we're now working over a new set of outlandish, contradictory, or outright batshit insane conspiracy theories that you've never heard of before - and we're going to sprinkle, nay, dump them into the public discourse, and employ a vast array of wingnuts, crackpots and even prominent public figureheads, to open your eyes of the doom that's coming to America.
Here's just a short glimpse of those, to give you a taste of what's coming...
- Obama has a plan to declare himself Tzar of Earth. All Christian kids will be rounded up and lined up at wind turbines, where they'll be blowing wind into them for 20 hours a day, while tree-hugging hippies whip them on their bare asses. All real Americans who haven't been detained to the FEMA death camps will be shipped over to Mars, once those rovers have fulfilled their mission, namely: to find the perfect place to build new concentration camps. The American law won't apply there, since it's another planet.
- Obama's real dad wasn't born in Kenya. He was actually born in Honolulu, and he's Barack himself, who lived in the future in year 2050, after the liberal-induced Armageddon.
- Obama's cronies won the election for him by intimidating and discouraging conservative white males from voting, particularly in the swing states, by spamming them with pictures of Barack's gargantuan brown eel that reigns in his pants. That would've probably won the hearts of the conservative white ladies, if any such thing existed. Because once you go Barack... well, you know the rest.
- All the things Obama says and does and thinks is funneled straight into his head through a teleprompter. There's a microchip implanted in his amygdala that directly receives those instructions. Whenever a teleprompter is not anywhere near him, the signal is directed at him via magic by a central invisible teleprompter visible only to him, and the source of the signal resides in a secret underground facility under the hollow Mount Shasta, where interdimensional portals to another universe are hidden.
- The shapeshifting liberal aliens who've passed into our dimension from those portals, have implanted secret saboteurs in the Republican party, who undermined its chances of ruling the world by pushing forward a candidate whose name rhymes with shit, quit, clit and twit, thus making sure that he would be subject to innumerable quips and mocking, thus destroying the morale of conservatives and making them stay at home on election day.
- Obama is a shapeshifter too. When his Jedi mind tricks don't work on the audience, he actually has the looks of Gollum, the heart of Grima Wormtongue and the mind of Saruman the White (after he sold himself to Sauron).
- Jooz! Kommies! And Jooz! Also lots of Kommies! Oh, and did I mention MUSLINS?!??!1!1?
- When he stole the previous election in 2008 from our good guy Johnnie the Walking Corpse, Hussein bin-Obama froze a few million votes in a secret bunker in Area-51, and they remained there awaiting the day of his re-election. Then they were released on November 6, 2012, and stole the election for him. Too bad. And Johnny was such a funny guy!
- Hussein's lapel pin only looks like an American flag. In fact it contains a secret Arabic prayer from the Satanic Verses on one side, and on the other, the emblem of the Priory of Sion, who are the successors of the Knights Templar, who in turn are successors of the Brotherhood of the Snake in ancient Egypt and have stolen the Holy Grail from Jerusalem (did I mention teh Juice?) They are also the mortal enemy of the Green Lantern and the Galactic Guardians, which explains another conspiracy: the poor box office turnout and the horrible critical acclaim of the Green Lantern movie. There are no coincidences in Hollywood! (Which, might I point out, is also controlled by the Juice).
- Ps. Has anyone seen Obama's birth certificate lately? Why has Obama and Obama's Birth Certificate never appeared at the same place simultaneously???
(no subject)
Date: 9/11/12 12:14 (UTC)Ahahahaha! :-)))
(no subject)
Date: 9/11/12 12:21 (UTC)CIVIL WAR! SECESSION OF THE NORTH!! DRAGON INVASIONS FROM THE EAST!!!
(no subject)
Date: 9/11/12 12:23 (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 9/11/12 12:25 (UTC)illegal aliensreavers fromacross the Mexican Gulfthe Iron Islandssucking on the gubmint teetravaging the shores ofTexasThe Reach!(no subject)
Date: 9/11/12 12:27 (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 9/11/12 12:28 (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 9/11/12 12:29 (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 9/11/12 14:31 (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 9/11/12 21:05 (UTC)Ah, past nastification.
(no subject)
Date: 9/11/12 12:19 (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 9/11/12 12:31 (UTC)Prepare for bad news...
OBAMA STILL SMOKES!
Gasp.........
(no subject)
Date: 9/11/12 12:36 (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 9/11/12 12:36 (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 9/11/12 13:09 (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 9/11/12 14:30 (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 9/11/12 17:24 (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 9/11/12 17:10 (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 9/11/12 21:06 (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 10/11/12 18:45 (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 10/11/12 18:47 (UTC)