Atlas scrubbed

[mahnmut.livejournal.com]

http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/election-2012/wp/2012/10/15/charity-president-unhappy-about-paul-ryan-soup-kitchen-photo-op/?wprss=rss_election-2012

Here's what REALLY happened.



Soupkitchenville, Ohio. In a stunning display of his housekeeping prowess, and remaining true to his essence of... bringing the essentials to everything, VP candidate Paul "Prettyboy" Ryan made a strong statement in support of his anti-dependency stance about life, the Universe and everything, by descending down the social ladder for fifteen minutes, and walking among mortals on the street, eventually ending up in a welfare establishment, a.k.a. "soup kitchen" (sic?). You know, one of those places, along with welfare bureaucratic headquarters and other government handout locales that would've never existed in his Randian utopia. There he grabbed the opportunity to have himself videotaped doing useless but popular stuff - like scrubbing cutlery.

"Hey y'all, I'm a put-up-or-shut-up kinda guy", he proudly announced while the cameras were helpfully recording how awesome his face was, scratching his dimpled chin enigmatically with one hand while polishing a soup pot that was already clean with the other. "Ever told ya how much I admire Ayn Rand?", he went on, "I don't think I have. Well, she taught us all how stuff like soup kitchens, public libraries and roads and free internet perpetuate the cycle of dependency that's killing our great nation. So here I am, showing you exactly why I believe that folks need to go home and eat soup in their own kitchen - as a reward for their individual accomplishments - and stop relying on handouts. I mean just think about it! Would you ever have to wash a clean pot in your own kitchen? No! I don't. I have my chambermaid to do that for me. See, now? This establishment here is part of the culture of dependency on inefficient, dehumanizing, suffocating bureaucracy that's destroying family values, and ultimately, our lives!" Then he sniffed a little bit, and a tear was seen appearing in his honest blue eyes.

Although they never had an invitation to the soup kitchen, Prettyboy and his cohort successfully used a battering ram to knock down the closed and locked kitchen gates, to go in and show how "the useless freeloaders are invading symbolic kitchens and raiding our fridges - for real!" He spent several minutes trying to find something useless to do around the place to promote his message of the futility of such sort of dependency, and he finally came upon a heap of clean pots. "And it dawned on me", he explains, "that washing a clean pot is the perfect metaphor showing the American people how their tax dollars are being wasted for useless, redundant stuff, which is part of the agenda of the socialist establishment to keep the patrons of useless places like this one dependent on the government's teet. So I got busy with my task, and luckily, I happened to have a couple of camera guys with me to capture this historic moment, plus some random woman who was very eager to pretend to casually stand behind me, holding a tin tray and a huge ladle. It all arranged itself perfectly".

When asked what he could make out of the whole scene, the useless guy who was running the soup kitchen said, "We're a faith based organization. We don't deal with politics. But you just can't refuse these deep blue eyes, can you? Hey, I still don't get what his point was, but meh. It was beautiful. Oh, by the way did I mention I'm voting Obama?"

Comments

[fizzyland.livejournal.com]

Ryan should stick to things he knows about - like driving a Weinermobile.

[luzribeiro.livejournal.com]

plus some random woman who was very eager to pretend to casually stand behind me, holding a tin tray and a huge ladle

You mean she wasn't picked from a huge binder full of women!?

We're a faith based organization. We don't deal with politics.

Hello, useless guy who runs the soup kitchen! Since when being a faith based organization has stopped anyone from meddling into politics? ;)

[mahnmut.livejournal.com]

[htpcl.livejournal.com]

[allhatnocattle.livejournal.com]

Doesn't anyone remember the Alamo? All those Tennessee volunteers died! Those who do not remember the past are doomed to repeat it.

[luvdovz.livejournal.com]

I've always wanted to taste some Alamo at the Mexican restaurant.

[rimpala.livejournal.com]

I'm sure Ozzy remembers the Alamo

[op-tech-glitch.livejournal.com]

THERE ISN'T ANY BASEMENT AT THE ALAMO!!!!!

[ddstory.livejournal.com]

Speaking of useless posturing:



Hey, his wife is advocating healthy food, and he's eating hamburgers. 'Cause that's so American, aw hell yeah!



He's sooo folksy! I bet Medvedev wanted to see something American, and he was like, "Hey, screw the protocol! Let's go for something folksy!"

Luckily, some camera guys happened to be around.

[mahnmut.livejournal.com]

Bet he at least knows how to eat pizza (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/06/02/donald-trump-pizza-video_n_870519.html) like a Newyorker.



"Show us your birth certificate, Trump!!!"

[yes-justice.livejournal.com]

It would be better if they were just posing with the burgers instead of actually eating them.

[luzribeiro.livejournal.com]

Uughhh ohhh a false equivalence! You lose 1 Internet!

[dreadfulpenny81.livejournal.com]

When asked what he could make out of the whole scene, the useless guy who was running the soup kitchen said, "We're a faith based organization. We don't deal with politics. But you just can't refuse these deep blue eyes, can you? Hey, I still don't get what his point was, but meh. It was beautiful. Oh, by the way did I mention I'm voting Obama?" - Yeah, the "useless guy who was running the soup kitchen" is a registered Independent who's voted Democrat the past 17 years. Yep, not at all an attempt to torpedo Paul Ryan. Remember when the Obamas were at a soup kitchen last year for 9/11? Yeah, this picture pretty much sums up his entire presidency:

Full of fail...

[mahnmut.livejournal.com]

Ryan didn't know where he was entering!!!!



Heeey, that guy's Blackberry was donated by the Obamaphone program, dontchaknow? We already established that Obama gives out phones for free so hobos could take pics of Michelle, right?

[luvdovz.livejournal.com]

It's okay. One candidate is a lying posturing elitist who doesn't really care about the common folk. But the other one is also a lying posturing elitist who doesn't really care about the common folk, so it's all fine. ;)

[rimpala.livejournal.com]

How dare the homeless have phones!!!!

[kylinrouge.livejournal.com]

Who cares about what Ryan did? Let's change the subject with this wacky picture!! Mwahahaha!!!

[mylaptopisevil.livejournal.com]

Remember when the Obamas were at a soup kitchen last year for 9/11?

You know the issue isn't that someone did a photo op at a soup kitchen, right?

[yes-justice.livejournal.com]

The important thing is you figured out a way to hate on poor people.

[paft.livejournal.com]

Wow! That's impressive! You can tell how much the device cost and how much it charges for service from this photo?

And anyway, we all know that when charities receive cellphones as donations, they typically hand them to a homeless person saying "Here you go. Now your food needs are solved for the next couple of years. No more soup kitchen for you!"

Right?

[di-glossia.livejournal.com]

Snopes (http://www.snopes.com/photos/politics/soupkitchen.asp) has a much better explanation of the event.

A lot of homeless people do have cell phones, partially because it's far cheaper to pay a cellphone bill than rent, partially because it's incredibly hard to get or maintain a job without a consistent number you can be called at, and partially because, In the last few years, there has been a massive wave of new homeless, many of whom still have some of the things they had before they became homeless. Walmart and 7-11 have extremely inexpensive options that resemble national brands. Also, I have a Blackberry that someone gave me. I put my SIM card in it, but I have no Internet access and I very rarely use it for more than infrequent texts and phone calls. It's also on a family plan which cuts the cost down.

Homeless shelters and soup kitchens are often used as synonyms when they are separate concepts: a homeless shelter provides a meal and a place to sleep for the homeless; a soup kitchen provides a meal and possibly food to take home or clothes. They are usually private organizations run entirely by volunteers and largely funded by food donations. Miriam's Kitchen says that much of their food is donated, and a meal costs around $1.

[rimpala.livejournal.com]

As someone that's worked as a dish pig after school, I know there's plenty of things to do around the kitchen if the pots are clean. Floor needs mopping, trash needs taken out, dirty pots need to be collected from the stoves etc.

[luvdovz.livejournal.com]

Don't make him mop the floor! People might realize he's not so fit after all, once he grabs his waist and says, "Ouch!"

[devil-ad-vocate.livejournal.com]

As an ex fry cook, I'd be more impressed if they'd had him cleaning the grease tray from a grill.

[rimpala.livejournal.com]

Oh...ugh....he'd never do it lol

[blue-mangos.livejournal.com]

Let's hear some more about how charitable conservatives are!

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/10/18/soup-kitchen-paul-ryan-photo-donor_n_1980541.html

and for some good news:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/10/21/soup-kitchen-facing-donor-backlash-paul-ryan-photo-op-gets-help-fark-fundraising_n_1993101.html

[gunslnger.livejournal.com]

Everyone already knew it was a photo op. This doesn't really change anything about it. Politicians do this. Yay. Big whoop.

[omnot.livejournal.com]

Politicians usually ask permission first.

Not to mention the hypocrisy of using a charitable activity which provides free services to the poor (who his running mate and presumably Ryan himself see as a lazy and willful burden on the nation) as a platform to make him look like a good guy.

I honestly doubt Ryan would spit on a homeless person if they were on fire unless there were cameras pointed at him. I don't believe that of Obama, and therein lies the difference.