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talkpoliticsThe Higgs Boson walks into a church. Priest says "What are you doing here?" HB says "You can't have mass without me"
I now believe the God particle is inside of me...
Whoa whoa whoa! We’re cross-breeding hogs and bison now? Thanks a lot Obamacare!
Update from CERN: It turns out the thing they found in the Large Haldron Collider was just a GIF.
Lucky we found the Higgs, or else we'd have collided all those hard-ons together for nothing.
Team operating the LHC - 1 Team operating the Super Monkey Collider - 0.
"Are You There God Particle? It's Me, Average Person That Doesn't Understand You"
Where is your god now, particles???
Overheard on the newsdesk: "I don't care what the Higgs boson headline is, just make sure we spell Hadron correctly."
I've got 99.9999% problems, but a Higgs ain't one.
I hope Higgs-Boson isn't an Old Testament God particle.
Higgs Boson Explainer: It's like, a particle, man.
Turned down opportunity to go on 1-hour radio programme to discuss the religious significance of the Higgs particle since there isn't any.
The Higgs discovery makes me feel heavier already. What we need instead is the anti-Higgs.
Yup. Higgs boson. Right where I left it.
If I discovered the Higgs boson, I'd also do my presentation in ComicSans just to watch the outrage on Twitter ;-)
Ricky Gervais collapses after yelling at 2 strangers discussing the God particle.
There's an easy-to-understand video online that explains Higgs boson & creation of the universe, but it's like four minutes long. Pass.
The Higgs boston is the theoretical particle that accounts for heaviness of accents.
A Higgs boson walks into a bar. The barman doesn't understand.
An FTL neutrino walks into a bar. ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... A confused Higgs Boson walks into a bar.
Newsflash: Apple sues CERN. "We patented Higgs Boson already."
A Higgs Boson walks into a bar. "Want a drink?" asks the barman. The Higgs Boson doesn't reply. Because it's a Higgs Boson. Not a person.
Discovery of Higgs boson a blow to Bravo's upcoming reality show America's Next Top Standard Model.
The LHC team will also be announcing yesterday that they've discovered tachyons.
At the end of the Higgs announcement, one of the CERN team will pause, nonchalantly say "oh, one more thing", then calmly teleport away.
Hey I wrote this awesome post and... No, no its not about the Higgs but you... Wait, where are you going? Hey, come back!...
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Date: 6/7/12 17:57 (UTC)Satan really needs a hobby
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Date: 6/7/12 15:37 (UTC)Richard P. Feynman
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Date: 6/7/12 17:58 (UTC)But I will take the candy.
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Date: 7/7/12 03:38 (UTC)...
where's the obligatory bird taking a huge shit on someone?
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Date: 7/7/12 06:23 (UTC)No one knows!