![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
mahnmut.livejournal.com posting in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
talkpoliticsBefore we go any further with talking politics, here are some basic guidelines for composing a decent piece of text. Having read these, you won't have any excuse afterwards!
1. Never write sentences consisting of just one word. FAIL.
2. Avoid idioms - since time immemorial, they've been weak at the knees.
3. Be careful not to... jam the text with... lots of... dots.....
4. Do not use commercial phraseograms & abbreviations, etc.
5. (Always) remember that brackets (even when they appear to be necessary) tend to interrupt the train of throught (of the narrative).
6. Words have a meening and thier speling maters, not just for it's own sake.
7. Try "employing" quotation marks as seldom as possible: you won't "lose" anything.
8. Never make generalizations. They've always been useless.
9. Loan-words are hardly indication for bon ton.
10. Spare us the quotations. As Emerson said, "I hate quotations. I'd rather express myself with my own thoughts".
11. Comparisons resemble idioms. They're as useless as tits on a bull.
12. Avoid overburdening the phrases at any cost; do not repeat the same thing more than once; repeating the same thing twice is redundant (by "overburdening", read: the unnecessary expanding or explanation of an idea that the reader has already clearly understood right from the onset, without the necessity of repetition).
13. Only dumbfucks express themselves in vulgar language.
14. Maybe it wouldn't be bad if you try being a little specific, more or less.
15. Litotes are the greatest rhetoric techniques of all.
16. Do not mix high style with low style - no matter how hard you squeeze this shit, it is highly unlikely that it would bring the desired result.
17. If you write boring crap, even using the most extreme slurs won't help wipe your smelly ass.
18. Put, the commas, exactly, where they, belong.
19. Do not use paragraphs indiscriminately.
Unless, of course,
it is urgently required.
20. Extremely bold metaphors are as helpless as a derailed swan with severe constipation.
21. By the way, use the words correctly - any ticklishness could bring you heart failure.
22. So, you couldn't do without all those rhetorical questions?
23. Do your best to be succinct, try to focus your ideas within the smallest possible amount of words and sentences, carefully avoiding long phrases - especially staying away from sentences that are garnered with lots of parenthetical constructs squeezed between the dashes, which inevitably distract the inattentive reader, - so as not to contribute in your own way to speaking about this, ultimately detrimental information contamination, which, no doubt (and particularly in the cases as far as texts stuffed with useless and easily noticeable and possibly avoidable particularizations are concerned), is one of the tragedies of our time, slavishly subordinated to the dictate of the media, be they digital or not.
24. The proper use of the full article may look to you as the non-issue, but for the many readers it is the important evidence for the cultural status.
25. Quit being unnecessarily emotional! Really, stop emoting!! Do not abuse the exclamation mark!!! AND DO NOT USE ALL-CAPS!!!!
26. By using a large number of verbal adverbs and the gerundive you only embarrass yourself, showing that you either cannot follow your own thought, or you are too busy trying to look smart by resorting to language tricks not being very typical for your language.
27. Call the authors and characters in a story directly by their names, without periphrases. Do not forget that at the end of the 16th century, that is what the Godfather of the modern English language did when he wrote the golden pages about the paragon of tragedy who presumably lived in Denmark, a rotten state - and all the rest of them Medieval folks.
28. Early on in your text, you should resort to captatio benevolentiae, in order to win the reader (if you know what I mean).
29. Every complete phrase should have...
30. And do not start your sentences with a conjunction.
Now go forth and write those brilliant posts of yours!
(no subject)
Date: 18/5/12 13:48 (UTC)WIN!
(no subject)
Date: 18/5/12 19:28 (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 18/5/12 14:41 (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 18/5/12 15:01 (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 18/5/12 15:17 (UTC)Comparisons resemble idioms. They're as useless as tits on a bull.
Only dumbfucks express themselves in vulgar language.
Great way to cut down on posts and comments in the community bro, there's barely
anything left to say! :P
(no subject)
Date: 18/5/12 18:19 (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 18/5/12 19:09 (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 18/5/12 19:06 (UTC)Ein't dat teh truff!
(no subject)
Date: 18/5/12 19:19 (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 18/5/12 22:10 (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 18/5/12 19:23 (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 18/5/12 19:31 (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 18/5/12 20:48 (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 18/5/12 20:04 (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 18/5/12 20:26 (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 19/5/12 01:21 (UTC)If I can't use dots...never mind I rarely use them correctly, or brackets (I can't believe that's a "rule") I may as well quit now while I'm ahead.
(no subject)
Date: 19/5/12 08:09 (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 21/5/12 11:11 (UTC)