[identity profile] paedraggaidin.livejournal.com posting in [community profile] talkpolitics
Question!!:

Okay, so I crack jokes a lot. When I'm in a certain frame of mind I make jokes about eating things. And in the midst of such vorous humours I will joke about eating. cooking, or otherwise culinarily involving puppies, kittens, baby otters, baby humans, adult humans, seals, whales, dolphins, deer, polar bears, garden gnomes, and other assorted critters, real and imagined. Now, me being somewhat less than a great humorist, these jokes are generally received with reactions ranging from mild chuckles to eye-rolling not-again looks. But, if I so much as breathe a single syllable about eating horses, all manner of people, generally female, suddenly come out of the woodwork, spitting with rage, filled to bursting with righteous indignation, calling me an unfunny, mean-spirited disgrace of a man with no sense of decency and the sense of humor of a KGB jailer. Horses, apparently, are sacrosanct and inviolate, pure and unstained, God's favorite creation of all time, better than Jesus, wonderful animals who don't deserve my inhumane attempts at humor.

I can joke about eating kids, but not about eating horses. THIS IS STUPID. People eat horses you know. In many countries horse is a delicacy. France even has special butcher shops devoted to horse meat. Horse is, by all accounts, quite tasty, though I have not had the privilege myself, partly from lack of access, partly from fear of being dragged to the town square and beaten with riding crops by athletic young women in tight riding gear...uh, is it getting a little hot in here?

Yes! Well! Anyway! Horses! Why are they not fair game for humor??

This rant not in any way brought to you by bitter memories of the crazy ex who loved horses and hated my horse jokes and dumped me via email because Jesus told her to.


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(no subject)

Date: 13/1/12 09:36 (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hikarugenji.livejournal.com
I've eaten horse before. Raw horse, even.

(no subject)

Date: 13/1/12 10:26 (UTC)
From: [identity profile] anfalicious.livejournal.com
I'd eat a horse.

(no subject)

Date: 13/1/12 11:11 (UTC)
From: [identity profile] htpcl.livejournal.com
I'm sure there's a fried donkey recipe somewhere around here. It's popular in some parts of the Rhodope mountains.

(no subject)

Date: 13/1/12 11:31 (UTC)
From: [identity profile] anfalicious.livejournal.com
Also, if your ex is dumping you on the advice of a Palestinian carpenter who has been dead for 2000 odd years, I'd say you're probably better off.

(no subject)

Date: 13/1/12 18:05 (UTC)
From: [identity profile] blue-mangos.livejournal.com
lol, she would probably be absolutely horrified with me then.

(no subject)

Date: 13/1/12 11:35 (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lai-choi-san.livejournal.com
In the dreamworld, the image of horse has an overtone of aristocracy. Calves and lambs are peasants.
.....
Horses to the guillotine !

(no subject)

Date: 13/1/12 11:38 (UTC)

(no subject)

Date: 13/1/12 11:58 (UTC)
From: [identity profile] stewstewstewdio.livejournal.com

I can joke about eating kids, but not about eating horses

This has actually been discussed somewhere before. I think it was T_P_Nonsense. I put this scene from Taxi, the TV series in there and will repeat it. It featured Andy Kaufman as Latka Gravas and Jeff Conaway as Bobby Wheeler.

Bobby: Are you ready to go to dinner?

Latka: Yes. I am so hungry I could eat a dog.

Bobby: No, the phrase is “I’m so hungry I could eat a horse”

Latka: Eat a horse? Yick!!!

(no subject)

Date: 13/1/12 15:11 (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kardashev.livejournal.com
Tastes just like spotted owl.

(no subject)

Date: 13/1/12 19:15 (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sandwichwarrior.livejournal.com
The tears of hippies add to the flavor.

(no subject)

Date: 14/1/12 01:07 (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kardashev.livejournal.com
Hell, the tears of hippies are a meal in and of themselves.

Gotta wash the hippy first though. They tend to be a little ripe.

(no subject)

Date: 14/1/12 07:42 (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jerseycajun.livejournal.com
...and probably a small amount of hallucinogen.

(no subject)

Date: 13/1/12 21:42 (UTC)
From: [identity profile] 3fgburner.livejournal.com
I had Triggerburger for dinner once, when we were in Paris. I was probably about 13. Mom had gone and picked up a roast, which came out pretty well. Dad tasted it, and asked, "Where did you get this?"

Mom: "That butcher shop about three blocks that way, why?"

Dad: "The one with the golden horse head over the door?".

Mom: "Yes, what's the difference?"

Brother and me: "BWAhahahahaaaa... [NOM]"

(no subject)

Date: 13/1/12 21:48 (UTC)
From: [identity profile] peristaltor.livejournal.com
"Wilbur, what's with the cleaver? Wilbur? Nooooo!"

And his name was Mr. Ed.

/singing.

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