Restore Flat-Earthistan

[sophia-sadek.livejournal.com]

All of the problems that the world faces today can be traced to the abandonment of the material Creator of the flat and immobile Earth. What is needed is a return to traditional flat-Earth values such as slavery, wife beating, and bludgeoning homosexuals.

Liberals have no faith in the great Lord of Flat-Earthistan. They must be taught a lesson that will bend them at the knee and bow their collective head in servility to the Almighty. I present to you the movement with the message:

What did you learn in Sunday school as a child? What will you do to restore the junk car of Flat-Earthistan?

Comments

Re: As seriously...

[underlankers.livejournal.com]

Also Judah and his daughter-in-law, arguably Abraham and Sarah (given that he told a half-truth when he said she was his sister and it was not that she was not his sister), and later on in the Bible a brother and sister who were son and daughter of King David, the man after God's own heart with 16 wives who had 100 foreskins for a dowry.

Yeah, nobody would ever do a straightforward adaptation of the Bible in Hollywood. It'd be NC-17 rated. ;P

Re: As seriously...

[sophia-sadek.livejournal.com]

Zoroastrians considered brother-sister marriage to be the most sacred. It was a way to keep the wealth in the family.

Re: As seriously...

[geezer-also.livejournal.com]

The David's kids thing didn't turn out too well did it. That was more a story of rape than incest.

Re: As seriously...

[underlankers.livejournal.com]

No, it was one of incest. Amnon and Tamar were brother and sister. And no, it didn't end too well but then God creating humankind didn't end too well the first time, either. Which raises a theological can of worms that's more for Friday LULZ.

Re: As seriously...

[geezer-also.livejournal.com]

Reread it, yes it was incest, but apparently Amnon could have asked David for her, the whole point was the rape (or attempted rape, Ive not read it in a while myself :D)