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talkpoliticsIt's a nice mid-afternoon on Mars, and everything is quiet...
Mars Rover Opportunity: HERE. (courtesy:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
telemann)
...Or is it?
Olympus Mons, Mars. The Martians are fuming! They've filed a complaint at the Supreme Intergalactic Court at K'pax (S.I.C.K.), citing "invasion of private property" by the NASA/Google Mars mission (see link above). President James Carville (see pic below) admitted he had written the complaint himself, after the latest of a long string of Earthling incursions on his dusty piece of rock. He called the dropping of the Curiosity Chrome "unwarranted disposal of useless junk", and said this was not the first time Earth had dumped its trash on his beautiful planet for the last 50 years.
"Who do they think they are, those Earthlings? Do they own my planet? NO! What if we came to your planet and did the same to you? You'd be sending us Tommy Lee Jones and Will Smith to blow us. I mean blow us UP! Blow up, that's what I meant! *cough*" [some incoherent blabbering follows] "Now you've sent this tin here to spy on us and this time do everything in 3D! Why don't you go to Venus for a change and stick your Earthling nose there? Oooh it's hot in there, isn't it? Get off my lawn, you cosmic hippies!"
In fact this has been the first official complaint filed by Mars at the S.I.C.K., which shows that Mars is now really sick, SICK I tell you, of all this shit! Enough is enough, they say. This Earthling imperialism has gone too far. And there've been complaints coming from other worlds too, in the wake of all this illegal trash-tossing, The Mars Sun tabloid reports.
The problem with this complaint, president Carville says, is that Earth has a bad reputation of always ignoring all prior warnings and rants. "Their arrogance has no end, those Earthlings. We've received tweets and sms-es from folks from all around the Solar System, even the Kuiper belt now. Look at Saturn for example. They're still waiting for Earth to get their Cassini trash out of their backyard, but NO! Why would they? It's as if they're deaf, those Earthlings. And there are rumors that Earth is doing all this to collect secret intel for a future commercial exploitation of our rocks! We can't let this happen now, can we?" [the president carefully brushes some spittle off of his chin]
Typically, so far there's been no response from NASA itself, and their activities on the red planet have remained secretive. But Google at least had the courtesy to say something on the matter. In their typical nice folksy tone, they promised they were doing nothing wrong, and moreover they'd never received any complaints from anybody on Mars or the other planets before. Just... silence. Not a word, or a sob. Not even from Earthlings themselves, who had their entire planet 3D-mapped recently.
But president Carville does not despair. He believes the S.I.C.K. will arrive at a just decision, and Earth will finally be handed the much anticipated official warning for all its misdoings. "And if they fail to comply, then we call the Vogons!!! You don't want to try the Vogon poetry, do you!?!? PURE HORROR....."
In a last statement before the court's verdict, an exasperated Martian president said, "Earth, this is your last chance to stop this shit. We might be a small piece of rock and we may be eating our water in cubes, but be sure we have some important friends among the Asteroid circles. You think they're not angry with your intrusions, eh? You've been flinging all sorts of crap at them for decades too, and even without an official warrant, they might begin to reconsider their neutral stance, and start planning their next move out of orbit if this atrocity should continue!"
Earth doesn't know what it's getting into, The Mars Sun concludes.
Mars Rover Opportunity: HERE. (courtesy:
telemann)...Or is it?
Olympus Mons, Mars. The Martians are fuming! They've filed a complaint at the Supreme Intergalactic Court at K'pax (S.I.C.K.), citing "invasion of private property" by the NASA/Google Mars mission (see link above). President James Carville (see pic below) admitted he had written the complaint himself, after the latest of a long string of Earthling incursions on his dusty piece of rock. He called the dropping of the Curiosity Chrome "unwarranted disposal of useless junk", and said this was not the first time Earth had dumped its trash on his beautiful planet for the last 50 years.
"Who do they think they are, those Earthlings? Do they own my planet? NO! What if we came to your planet and did the same to you? You'd be sending us Tommy Lee Jones and Will Smith to blow us. I mean blow us UP! Blow up, that's what I meant! *cough*" [some incoherent blabbering follows] "Now you've sent this tin here to spy on us and this time do everything in 3D! Why don't you go to Venus for a change and stick your Earthling nose there? Oooh it's hot in there, isn't it? Get off my lawn, you cosmic hippies!"
In fact this has been the first official complaint filed by Mars at the S.I.C.K., which shows that Mars is now really sick, SICK I tell you, of all this shit! Enough is enough, they say. This Earthling imperialism has gone too far. And there've been complaints coming from other worlds too, in the wake of all this illegal trash-tossing, The Mars Sun tabloid reports.
The problem with this complaint, president Carville says, is that Earth has a bad reputation of always ignoring all prior warnings and rants. "Their arrogance has no end, those Earthlings. We've received tweets and sms-es from folks from all around the Solar System, even the Kuiper belt now. Look at Saturn for example. They're still waiting for Earth to get their Cassini trash out of their backyard, but NO! Why would they? It's as if they're deaf, those Earthlings. And there are rumors that Earth is doing all this to collect secret intel for a future commercial exploitation of our rocks! We can't let this happen now, can we?" [the president carefully brushes some spittle off of his chin]
Typically, so far there's been no response from NASA itself, and their activities on the red planet have remained secretive. But Google at least had the courtesy to say something on the matter. In their typical nice folksy tone, they promised they were doing nothing wrong, and moreover they'd never received any complaints from anybody on Mars or the other planets before. Just... silence. Not a word, or a sob. Not even from Earthlings themselves, who had their entire planet 3D-mapped recently.
But president Carville does not despair. He believes the S.I.C.K. will arrive at a just decision, and Earth will finally be handed the much anticipated official warning for all its misdoings. "And if they fail to comply, then we call the Vogons!!! You don't want to try the Vogon poetry, do you!?!? PURE HORROR....."
In a last statement before the court's verdict, an exasperated Martian president said, "Earth, this is your last chance to stop this shit. We might be a small piece of rock and we may be eating our water in cubes, but be sure we have some important friends among the Asteroid circles. You think they're not angry with your intrusions, eh? You've been flinging all sorts of crap at them for decades too, and even without an official warrant, they might begin to reconsider their neutral stance, and start planning their next move out of orbit if this atrocity should continue!"
Earth doesn't know what it's getting into, The Mars Sun concludes.
