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talkpolitics2023-03-20 09:41 pm
mahnmut) wrote in talkpolitics2023-03-20 09:41 pm
Entry tags:
On-topic: Amateur Hour
Hey, my beloved procrastinators! It's been quite a while since we had our last installment of ridiculously over-simplified and unbearably polarized hypothetical situations, inspired by the NationStates online game - you know, that place where you're the benevolent ruler of your own fictional state, which you're completely free to shape as you please, based on the stupid choices you make in situations like the below presented.
The Issue
The Insert Country Name College Sports Association has a long-standing policy that collegiate athletes do not get paid. Several high-profile players have taken to camping out in the student loan office until their grievances are addressed.
The Debate
1. “Our team brings zillions of bucks to campus,” notes Mariah McCarthy, a member of the University of Flying Octopus ball team. “We put our blood, sweat, and tears into representing this school, and we don’t even get compensation for our work! Give us a share of the wealth we create, so we can pay for tuition, books, and alco... well, all the necessities.”
2. “Kids these days,” trails off Jordan Barrett, an executive of the Totally Honest CSA, struggling to remember his talking point. “I mean to say, they’re already being paid in scholarships! Elite athletes will have plenty of time to profit from their talents once their school days are over, so don’t let scholarship recipients be distracted by monetization. They need to stay focused on earning their degrees.”
3. “Not all sports are equally profitable,” says snow volleyball player Knut Magnusson, taking a break from practice. “Professionalizing collegiate athletes would let popular Quiddich ball players like Ms McCarthy make bank while programs like mine fall by the wayside. Insert Country Name should enforce a code of amateurism in all its sports, on campus or off. It’s the only way to be fair.”
4. “Who let all these jocks on campus?” questions Karen Jones, an honors student at the University of Megalopolis City. “The point of higher education is to pursue knowledge and prepare for your career, not watching your sweaty classmates fight over their balls. Let’s do away with college sports entirely and reaffirm our commitment to what university is really about: learning, research, and pursuing hot co-eds.”
The legislature of Insert Country Name is preparing to adopt a decision.
You're the ruler of Insert Country Name. Adopt one of the above positions.
1) Ms McCarthy, Flying Octopus player
2) CEO Barrett of Totally Honest CSA
3) Knut Magnusson, snow volleyball player
4) Karen Jones, honors student
No need to tell you, I suppose, that the available options have been deliberately made to sound so stratified.
The Issue
The Insert Country Name College Sports Association has a long-standing policy that collegiate athletes do not get paid. Several high-profile players have taken to camping out in the student loan office until their grievances are addressed.
The Debate
1. “Our team brings zillions of bucks to campus,” notes Mariah McCarthy, a member of the University of Flying Octopus ball team. “We put our blood, sweat, and tears into representing this school, and we don’t even get compensation for our work! Give us a share of the wealth we create, so we can pay for tuition, books, and alco... well, all the necessities.”
2. “Kids these days,” trails off Jordan Barrett, an executive of the Totally Honest CSA, struggling to remember his talking point. “I mean to say, they’re already being paid in scholarships! Elite athletes will have plenty of time to profit from their talents once their school days are over, so don’t let scholarship recipients be distracted by monetization. They need to stay focused on earning their degrees.”
3. “Not all sports are equally profitable,” says snow volleyball player Knut Magnusson, taking a break from practice. “Professionalizing collegiate athletes would let popular Quiddich ball players like Ms McCarthy make bank while programs like mine fall by the wayside. Insert Country Name should enforce a code of amateurism in all its sports, on campus or off. It’s the only way to be fair.”
4. “Who let all these jocks on campus?” questions Karen Jones, an honors student at the University of Megalopolis City. “The point of higher education is to pursue knowledge and prepare for your career, not watching your sweaty classmates fight over their balls. Let’s do away with college sports entirely and reaffirm our commitment to what university is really about: learning, research, and pursuing hot co-eds.”
The legislature of Insert Country Name is preparing to adopt a decision.
You're the ruler of Insert Country Name. Adopt one of the above positions.
1) Ms McCarthy, Flying Octopus player
2) CEO Barrett of Totally Honest CSA
3) Knut Magnusson, snow volleyball player
4) Karen Jones, honors student
No need to tell you, I suppose, that the available options have been deliberately made to sound so stratified.