Well this is an appropriate story for today:

[underlankers.livejournal.com]

In a shameless rip-off of a famous old joke the city of Wilmington, Delaware, has granted personhood to sex cells. I suppose they hope to use this to attract Fundies and make sex sell.

Anyhow, the article via link and the Youtube summary:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/03/02/wilmington-city-council-sperm-egg-personhood_n_1316924.html

And in today's Column of a Stopped Watch is right Twice a Day, Pat Robertson favors legalizing weed:

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/46669807/ns/us_news-the_new_york_times/?ocid=ansmsnbc11

Who needs the Onion when we've got reality?

Comments

[oportet.livejournal.com]

So if you masturbate, can they get you for negligent homicide?

[kardashev.livejournal.com]

GAAAAHHHH!!! I WAS A TEEN MASS MURDERER!!!

*cries*

[anfalicious.livejournal.com]

I thought you were a misanthropist, yet you lament the murder of billions of clones of yourself? I think you're just an egomaniac :P~

[kardashev.livejournal.com]

Hey, those billions of sperm were devoid of anything resembling a human personality. In my misanthropic mind, this makes them superior to the average human.

Why you hatin' on my sperms, dude? What did they ever do to you? :p

[ddstory.livejournal.com]

They always poise a threat to reproduce themselves? :p

[kardashev.livejournal.com]

Yeah. Reproduce themselves.

With the assistance of his sister's ovum. XD

[ddstory.livejournal.com]

It takes two to do the bunga-bunga tango.

[policraticus.livejournal.com]

http://www.wilmingtonde.gov/docs/1029/3641.pdf

Did you read the resolution? It is a protest written and passed by liberal Democrats (few cities are more liberal and Democratic than my old town) in what they probably think is a super post modern ironic hipster protest of attempts to limit abortion, since in ther eyes that is what limits on abortion amount to, the preservation of unarticulated cell masses.

[rimpala.livejournal.com]

I really doubt the current legislators are young enough to be off the hipster generation, hippies maybe, or perhaps members of generation X at the most.

Just saying that if you're going to dismiss the legislators by labeling them in a mass generalization you might want to do it a little more properly.

[underlankers.livejournal.com]

You do realize this is Friday Fun Day and that the article in question linking to a satirical resolution is in fact the point?

[meus-ovatio.livejournal.com]

I can't for the life of me remember the term "unarticulated" in biology class.

[bikinisquad3000.livejournal.com]

Call it what you like, but it's an accurate representation of the logical endpoint of personhood laws and whatnot—there is a point where what becomes a person is not yet a person, but the actual realities of that are being ignored by people who go back too far in the process and apply the term "personhood" before it makes any scientific sense.

Got to be honest, I'm amused at how ridiculous you find this "super post modern ironic hipster protest," because this is more or less the actual original basis of sodomy laws in America. They were based on the mistaken belief that sperm is finite and each man has one limited supply he cannot waste, for fear of killing off humanity. That the very idea of granting sperm protection from "abuse, neglect or abandonment" seems so utterly stupid to you is a sign of how far we've come in our knowledge of biology, but the fact that many still consider it up to debate whether a fertilized egg is a person is a sign of how willing we are to ignore this (now) easily available knowledge. It's no less ridiculous or outmoded.


ETA: LOL, I didn't even notice what the "YouTube summary" was. Yep, that's the genuinely real old-ass idea they're making fun of, and deservedly so. Also, sorry for misunderstanding your comment. I thought you were just bitching about the resolution, but now I realize that you thought the OP thought it was meant in all seriousness. I do reiterate that the satire is more relevant than you say.

[dreadfulpenny81.livejournal.com]

Eh, the folks in Wilmington, Deleware gotta do something to stir up controversy. Their tourism trade sucks.

And it's nice to see Pat Robertson talk about something and NOT sound batshit crazy.

By the way, did the video really have to be THAT big?

[rimpala.livejournal.com]

Does it count as negligence if the sperm naturally die anyways inside the male's body? What about the millions of sperm persons that don't fertilize the eggs and die anyways inside the female's body? Oh the humanity!

[telemann.livejournal.com]

[rimpala.livejournal.com]

Oh wait! If you believe the little urban legends out there, does this make a can of Mt Dew a weapon of mass destruction? Because that would be pretty awesome...