Restore Flat-Earthistan

[sophia-sadek.livejournal.com]

All of the problems that the world faces today can be traced to the abandonment of the material Creator of the flat and immobile Earth. What is needed is a return to traditional flat-Earth values such as slavery, wife beating, and bludgeoning homosexuals.

Liberals have no faith in the great Lord of Flat-Earthistan. They must be taught a lesson that will bend them at the knee and bow their collective head in servility to the Almighty. I present to you the movement with the message:

What did you learn in Sunday school as a child? What will you do to restore the junk car of Flat-Earthistan?

Comments

[paedraggaidin.livejournal.com]

Someone should edit a Badass Bible translation, leaving in all the cool stuff, and cutting out all the peace and love and silly rules.

I see...

[sophia-sadek.livejournal.com]

... a computer game in the works as well.

Re: I see...

[paedraggaidin.livejournal.com]

already been done (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Super_Noah%27s_Ark_3D)

Re: I see...

[sophia-sadek.livejournal.com]

That does not look badass enough.

[telemann.livejournal.com]

Matthew 1: 18

How is Happy Cat Formed?

18 Now, teh burth of teh Nointed Cat was liek dis: After Mary and Joseph wuz all "We get maerdied, kthnx", but befor dey haz hankiez pankiez Mary was a muthur cat thanx 2 HovurCat.19 Joseph was liek "I haz virjn - NOOOO dey be stealin my virjn! Must hied hur".20 But when he was tihnkin, zomg, a BirdCat frm Ceiling Cat was liek, "Oh hai! Iz in ur dreemz, givin u messij. Don be scairdy cat. Taek Mary as ur wife - is virjn. But teh Forse is strong in tihs wun, lol! HovrCat is on hur, givn hur kitlin, srsly." So Joseph was liek " Oh yey. Iz gonna luv him and squeez him and call him George."21 But BirdCat was liek "No, you gonna call him Happy Cat. cuz he save kittehs frum bein bad kittehs. Kthxbai."22 So all dis was all did cuz Ceiling Cat had sed it wud be. Him proffit was all liek:23 "Hay guise, luk! teh virjn is all preggers, and dey gonna call him A-manual", dat be joospeek for "Ceiling Cat wiv us"24 Then Joseph walked up, dun wat teh BirdCat frm Ceiling Cat tolded him too, and was all liek "U wit me now lol" at Mary.25 And dey didnt has Hankiez Pankiez affer dey gets a son and call him Happy Cat. Kthnx.

[paedraggaidin.livejournal.com]

I serves teh Basement Cat, i r evil.

Translation?

[sophia-sadek.livejournal.com]

When will an English translation be available?

Re: Translation?

[telemann.livejournal.com]

Already is; at any local Little Caesar's pizza.

[a-new-machine.livejournal.com]

It's not quite what you're looking for, but Thomas Jefferson wrote a version of the Bible with most of the supernatural stuff removed. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jefferson_Bible)