Western values are in deep trouble:

[underlankers.livejournal.com]

Friends, Romans, Countrymen, lend me your ears, I come not to bury Western values but to praise them.

There is a cult in the cities, a cult of barbarous atheist cannibal incestuous freaks who deride such venerable traditions as the games and the worship of images of the Gods. They proclaim with folly and with arrogance that all these values handed down by our ancestors since Numa Pompilius are works of something they call the Adversary. This bunch of city-slicking quasi-Jews, who unlike their parent atheists don't even have the good grace to sacrifice animals and derive pleasure from entrails a-burning.

This cult is a strange one and a violent one. It is riven by divisions between things that are transparently obscure. They claim to follow a sage given the treatment given to traitors, their rituals are cannibalism and incest, savage things. This Eastern foolishness with its Greek-Jewish natures threatens our most august and revered values. If we yield an inch to these quasi-Jews we yield everything. They despise all that we do down the most banal and idiotic things to agree with, they won't even recline at a table with us like civilized human beings, being treated greatly by male and female slaves. Though they do at least recognize that a slave is a slave, not to be freed.

We are asked to concede to them the inability to name our Gods, and to offer incense to the Emperor. That is a fine act, it shows that a citizen is in fact a Citizen, adhering to the rites of the State. These cannibalistic incestuous atheists won't even do that. If we do not trust these two new general-emperors, Diocletian and Galerius, in a generation Western values will be destroyed by this Eastern atheist chicanery and all will be lost. What can we do, O Westerners? To Diocletian and Galerius, we'll rally round the standard boys, rally once again!

_________________

This piece of political satire has been brought to you by Underlankers Incorporated. You may now return to your regular programming. To be precisely sure about Rule #8, Underlankers Incorporated would note that in the light of the historical fuzziness and changes about what is and is not Western that there is no consistent definition of that term beyond a negative not-this. Underlankers Incorporated would prefer an is-this definition but has a devil of a time finding it.

Comments

[underlankers.livejournal.com]

To be fair, neither is the attitude being parodied all that subtle.....

Heh. Blame it all on the Christians will we?

[montecristo.livejournal.com]

"We are taxed in our bread and our wine, in our incomes and our investments, on our land and on our property not only for base creatures who do not deserve the name of men, but for foreign nations, complaisant nations who will bow to us and accept our largesse and promise us to assist in the keeping of the peace - these mendicant nations who will destroy us when we show a moment of weakness or our treasury is bare, and surely it is becoming bare! We are taxed to maintain legions on their soil, in the name of law and order and the Pax Romana, a document which will fall into dust when it pleases our allies and our vassals. We keep them in precarious balance only with our gold. Is the heart blood of our nation worth these? Were they bound to us with ties of love, they would not ask our gold. They take our very flesh, and they hate and despise us. And who shall say we are worthy of more? ... When a government becomes powerful it is destructive, extravagant and violent; it is an usurer which takes bread from innocent mouths and deprives honorable men of their substance, for votes with which to perpetuate itself."

— Cicero, 54 B.C.

Re: Heh. Blame it all on the Christians will we?

[telemann.livejournal.com]

The HBO series Rome really portrayed Cicero as a sniveling little weasel, dispatched in a very gruesome way.

Re: Heh. Blame it all on the Christians will we?

[montecristo.livejournal.com]

Well, for starters, the HBO series too lots of liberties with dear Lady Clio in the name of drama and entertainment. Second though, several historians do paint Cicero as a consumate politician whose words are often packed with statesman-like invocations of truth while he also practiced what can safely be called demagoguery in the pursuit of his political ambitions. All in all, he was a complex man. The thing is though, that he did say some things that were true and he said them well, and it is interesting to consider his words in light of what we know of Rome's history.

Re: Heh. Blame it all on the Christians will we?

[underlankers.livejournal.com]

He was Ancient Rome's Pat Buchanan: a slimy sniveling git who was a fanboy of authoritarian murderous assclowns until one of them up and murdered him.

Re: Heh. Blame it all on the Christians will we?

[anfalicious.livejournal.com]

Someone's going to kill Pat Buchanan?

Re: Heh. Blame it all on the Christians will we?

[underlankers.livejournal.com]

If the analogy holds, it'd be some overmighty general quasi-fascist. Cicero was the same kind of priggish hypocrite that modern-day social conservatives were and he was quick to hop on the bandwagon of the First Triumvirate and was killed in the proscriptions of the second. Just like Pat Buchanan and his fanboyism of murderous genocidal assclowns.

[404.livejournal.com]

Are you trying to "rend unto Caesar" us?

[telemann.livejournal.com]

Sophia says "Hi!" :-P

[underlankers.livejournal.com]

No, see with me it's satire. With Sophia she actually uses that as a serious argument. Even *I* think that Graeco-Rome has long since passed the point of even proper rhetorical use.

[abomvubuso.livejournal.com]

With Sophia she actually uses that as a serious argument

You dont know that ;)

[abomvubuso.livejournal.com]

Btw where the hell is Sophia!?

[sealwhiskers.livejournal.com]

I've kinda missed her posts, but I think I saw her comment not too long ago...

[sealwhiskers.livejournal.com]

This might come off as snark, but it's actually pretty genuinely meant, when I say that I will discuss the "dangers" of PC, in that post for instance, as soon as the anti PC crowd show that they fully understand the concept of narcissism and how narcissistic tendencies can manifest as cultural tendencies, affecting groups in society.

It's like the anti-PC crowd is convinced that people who think that the modern concept of PC (don't even get me started on the etymology of the word...)has a valid place in society, never thoguht an independent thought in their life. To not be anti PC makes you either dumb, fake or both; an ignorant hypocrite. I find it very hard to explain that most people arguing for PC have actually arrived and GONE PAST the kind of musings the anti PC post of yesterday is playing at. It is deemed at best childish and superficial.anfalicious actually stated some really good points in that post, and phrased them well, I'm hoping they made some form of difference.

But it could very well be like having a poet talk to a high schooler who's just written his first love poem, about what poetry encompasses.

[anfalicious.livejournal.com]

But it could very well be like having a poet talk to a high schooler who's just written his first love poem, about what poetry encompasses.


Heh, i have to do that too sometimes :P

[sealwhiskers.livejournal.com]

I once moderated a community where I had to do that almost every day.. :/

[malasadas.livejournal.com]

[inibo.livejournal.com]

It was good idea then, it's a good idea now. To the arena with them!